The Wrong Guy

Chapter 14 My Small Fantasies

                We stayed like that for moments, a thousand of trembling heartbeats I hoped Alex didn’t hear. Somehow, I wanted to drop dead like it should’ve been the last minutes of my life. Yet I feel this fear in my heart that I couldn’t explain. I realized it was the fear of that moment ending. The trembling from my heart crossed from my chest to my hands. It didn’t take long before Alex noticed that I was shaking.

                “Hey,” he looked at my head that was on his shoulder. “Why are you shaking?”

                “I’m sorry.” I quickly said and took off my head from his shoulder. That moment felt like minutes to me, minutes of dying sparks. I totally regret ending that moment. All I could do was give him answers, “I’m just a little-”

                “Are you okay?” he said when it took seconds for me to continue my sentence. He held my arms with both his hands. “Why are you shaking?”

                “I’m just-” I was looking down as he was gazing at me, waiting for me to answer, so I looked back at him and smiled. I wanted him to think everything was okay even when I felt like I was dying. “It’s just chilly here.”

                “Okay.” He said and moved his head around like he was scouting for something while made a hum sound. “Do you want to go down? It’s warmer inside.”

                “Yeah. I know.” I chuckled. My eyes rolled down because I couldn’t look right at him. I feared he’d see the shock and lie in my eyes. I didn’t want him to see the glossy eyes with me almost tearing up, too.

                “Hey,” he seemed to have noticed something and he held better grasp on my arms and jacket sleeves. “Something’s wrong. Are you not feeling well?”

                “I’m fine, Alex.” I was still looking down. I thought I had just come up with an excuse. “I just have this weird reaction with chills. My goose bumps won’t go away.”

                “Well.” Alex swung his head to the entry to the balcony and swung back to me. That time, I had the courage to look back at him. “I know a place warm.”

                “Where?” I asked with a curious and innocent tone, serious but prepossessing.

                “But I’ve got to ask you if you’re wearing underwear.” He said so casually.

                I didn’t know what came over me, but I became speechless. I felt my face heating. I was blushing. I thought he was going to ask me to have sex or something. I couldn’t help but imagine stuff beyond my age.

                “Hey, don’t blush!” he teased and laughed. I felt even more ashamed and probably gone more red.

                “I’m not blushing!”

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t think you were uncomfortable to talk about that.” He chuckled but bent his smile down to seem more serious and calm my heating down.

                “No, no. I’m not.” I said. I was feeling a little normal again. That blushed had probably gone away. “What was it you had in mind?”

                “I was thinking of asking you to get in the Jacuzzi.” He said without a trace of doubt. I felt like I was about to blush again, but his calmness drove the heat in my cheeks away. Something in my mind went quiet and tender. I felt like I was hearing a lullaby from out of nowhere.