Motherhood

chapter 15

Finally a picture of Alexander ! & for your information his full name is Michael Alexander Porter !

I stopped him. "Why'd you do it?" "Just hear me out okay. I felt kind of lonely these past couple months. I felt unloved by you. I know we can't have sex because your pregnant, and I totally understand that. I tried so hard to just cuddle with you and lay with you. But you always push me away. One night I stayed at the school library to study, and kayla was their, we started talking a little bit, and she kinda came on to me. She showed me affection that you never showed me anymore. As I'm leaving the library she called me over to her car, asking if I could check something , she threw me into her car and got on top of me, and kissed me, that's when I kissed her back and we hooked up. I felt like I wasn't doing anything wrong at the moment, but everyday I felt even more guilty"

I sat on the couch quietly, thinking about everything he just said. Thinking of what to say to him without yelling.

"I'm trying not to freak out and yell Michael. This makes it sound like it was my fault you slept with her, it makes it seem like you're trying to blame your mistake on me" "I'm not trying to blame you for anything, I'm just saying I felt Un fucking loved by you maddison! We're married we are supposed to be intimate with eachother!" Alexander looked up at us "Lower your voice" "No ! It's my house who cares who the fuck hears us argue!" He yelled at me, Alexander got a little scared and started to cry. I picked him up. "Come on baby! Let's go to mommy's room so you can watch some tv!"

I put him in his play pen in my room and turned on tv, he falls asleep in 10 minutes watching tv.

I went back out to the living room. And sat back down.

"I'm sorry I can't make you feel loved Michael, but you aren't going to feel any love by sleeping with some random girl. Just because she shows you affection doesn't mean you should cheat on your wife, I love you so much and I'm sorry I don't show it." "I'm love you so much and I promise I will never cheat on you ever again" He leaned in and tried to kiss me, but I leaned back. "I think we need a break" "What, like get divorced. No maddison please" "No Michael, I dont think I'm ready to just forgive you. I'm sorry" "Babe, I'm done with school , I won't be seeing her anymore, plus she's transferring. I won't see her anymore. Let's just work on us, go to counseling if we have to , I'll do anything please" "Michael , I dont know, I mean I love you, and always will but I'm just not gonna get over this anytime soon" "Baby, please, just try. I made a mistake" "I know , a huge mistake. But I can't get the image of you sleeping with someone else out of my head! I just go crazy! Michael I swear to god if I was not pregnant I'd go and kick her ass! But I am pregnant." "Babe, When Alexander was born we weren't together and that killed me, throughout the entire pregnancy I wanted to be with you! And do everything with you like shop for his diapers , clothes go to all his doctors appointments , but I didn't get to , I want this pregnancy to be different, I want us to be together for our kids" "I wanted that too, I still want that" "I know it's hard , if this ever happened to me I'd just die, I was so un - loyal to you, I'm stupid ! I should've told you myself" "That would've made me feel a little bit better. Hearing it from you" He got on his knees. "I love you so much Maddison" "Get up"

3 months later. We had been working on our relationship. I didn't want to just give up on our marriage like my parents. They got divorced over my dad cheating on my mom. They always regretted getting divorced, they were still in love. They missed out on raising us together, it was always just my mom or my dad. They could never be in a room together. My parents knew about Michael cheating on me, they both suggested we work on it and go to counseling. So we did. It didn't take me long to trust him again.

(Alexander was already 2 he turned 2 a few months ago. For his birthday we took him to a water park.)

I was almost 9 months pregnant. I was waiting for my babies to arrive. Everyday I decided to stay home because I wanted to be close to the hospital for when I was ready to give birth. Or when they were ready.

I was sleeping. And in the middle of the night I woke up with a sharp pain. They say it's good to bathe in hot water. If you think you are ready having contractions get into a hot shower or bath , if they go away they are false.

So I did just that, but it was still really painful, I called for Michael. "Michael I think I'm going to into labor" "what? Really Oh god. Okay I'll grab everything and put it in the car" He put all our bags in his car and then came back in for Alexander.

I grabbed a huge fuzzy blanket & my sweatshirt. I pulled on some Sweatpants and slid on my slippers.

The car ride felt like forever. I was in so much pain when we got to the hospital they took me to a room in a wheelchair. Michael had called my mom so she could pick up Alexander.

I was in a lot of pain , it was going to be awhile til I gave birth so Michael helped me walk around the hospital so I could get my mind off of the pain. It worked a little.

I went back to my hospital room we had booked a large room before hand because I do have a lot of family.

It had been 2 hours since I got to the hospital. The doctors were kind of worried. They told me it could be a little hard for me to deliver.

It was 6 in the morning now and half my family was waiting outside my room waiting for me to deliver. The people I wanted in the room where Michael obviously, my mom and grace my brothers wife.

Alexander and Hailey my brothers daughter where both with isac. They were sleeping outside my room, their were a couple chairs outside of my hospital room. They where big so Alexander could sleep comfortably.

In a couple minutes it was time to start pushing. And in a couple minutes I would meet my babies.

~ Are you guys excited to finally be introduced to the twins! Still figuring out what their names should be so it might be awhile for my next chapter!