Holding On||Peter Hayes (Divergent)

Chapter 12

Throughout the past four days, I've faced my fears of watching AJ bleed to death while I stand helpless, having to shoot either Marlene, Lynn or Uriah, having stones thrown at me by everyone in Dauntless and being attacked by strange men. I noticed that the one man that brought me the most fear had not appeared...

Four injected the needle into my neck for my final . I didn't feel a thing; the feeling is something I've adjusted to over these past few days. "Be brave," he tells me before I drift into another hallucination.

***

I'm back in the living room of my old apartment. The furniture seems untouched, the floor clean from footprints. My eyes widen, every part of me tensing up. No. Can it be happening now?

There he is, lurking out of the bathroom door. His hands are balled into fists, his polished boots slamming against the wooden floor after every step. I felt a sudden hindrance in my breath as I take in his signature smell of sweat and alcohol. My lungs shrivel up as my eyes finally meeting his dark ones hiding in his hollow sockets. "Dad," I say, my voice a mere wisp over his dominating cackle.

"Piper, Piper, Piper," he leered. "How's my little girl?"

"Dad, I -" my words are blown away by his fist colliding with my mouth. As I hit the floor I scream just as I've done for the past four years. "Help me! Help!"

"No one's going to help you now!" He bellowed, kicking me over and over, all over my body. The pain is excruciating, a thousand times worse than I remember. My screams turn into bloodcurdling shrieks of desperation. I writhe and squirm upon the floor like a baby. He's on top of me suddenly, punching me repeatedly across the face. I have to get out of here, I have to get out, I have to get out.

A surge of power allows me too throw him off me. Dad hits the floor with a thump, groaning. I run to the door, throttling the handle. It's locked. I race to the mirror on the other side of the room and stare at my face. It's bruised and bleeding all over. Tears fall from my eyes like a waterfall. I can hear Dad trying to stand up from behind me, but I don't do anything. I don't turn around and put up a fight. I don't attempt to hide. I look at myself helplessly into the mirror until I realise something:

This isn't real.

I can't act like a Divergent, however. I have to do what a Dauntless would do. I smash the mirror in front of me with my fist. The shards scatter the floor and the mantelpiece beneath. I grab the largest shard and turn to face my dad, who is ready to strike again. This time I am the one to hit first. The shard of glass in my hand impales itself into my father's chest, his blood spraying me. And I stab him again. And again. And again, again, again, again...

***

I wake, shrieking as I did in the simulation. There is no doubt that they can hear my screams from the other room. I can still feel his hands welting my skin, his blood splattering me like paint. I can feel it vividly, and it won't go away. Four stands in front of me, holding my shoulders down. I calmed down eventually, letting myself sob in the metal chair. "Four," I cry, "it isn't what it looks like."

"No, it is." He said sternly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be crying like this."

"It isn't! My dad -"

"Piper, you can't cover the fact he used to hit you. I can see it. And they way you responded was Dauntless enough. You have to do that all the time, or they'll find out you're Divergent."