Guilty

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Chapter 15~ Guilty

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Guilt.

You feel so bad, like a criminal. Like, you've been stabbed from your back after learning the truth about the person you made sad. And even worse, that knife gets into your back deeper and some power that you can't see, twists it, makes your tears come into your eyes.

Guilt is one of the worst feeling you would ever feel, after betrayal. Conner never felt something inside of him that strong. That hurtful...

He didn't know what came into him. Yes, he didn't murder someone or bury them alive. But the effect of the words were so powerful. You could see the pain in smaller boy's eyes.

That moment, Conner wanted to go and give him a little bro-hug. He wished he did. But something was holding him back and if Conner would destroy that thing at the time, he wouldn't be at a café, waiting for someone to break the uncomfortable silence. It was really awkward because there was no a thirteen year old young boy to make them smile and laugh like maniacs. Even Conner and Kaldur.

They had to go searching for Johannes yesterday night without Robin. Artemis and Wally knocked on the door until some of the security men told them to stop cause they were making other people uncomfortable. Unfortunately, Robin never opened the door.

But the sound of soft cries and hiccups were loud enough for speedster and archer to hear. Artemis left after a small voice telling them to go away but Wally stared at the door a little while longer. Soon, he left too.

When they came back, the three other team members were already pointing out next places Johannes possibly would be on the city map. Kaldur, seeing there wasn't Robin, said it was the best leaving younger alone for the night.

It had been less than a week but the team was already a wreck. When they came back, they had no clues except one; he was seen in the hotel they were staying at and attempted escaping before someone realized. However, because of his weird behave, security questioned him and realized that he was Johannes Caquire. They tried to find him again but the guy being a professional, had escaped a long time ago.

"How could we let this chance slip out of our hands?" said M'gann. Artemis stood up so fast, nearly knocking over the chair she was sitting on.

"Because we are blind enough to do that! We just argue, nothing but argue or fight." she paused for a second. "What is going on with us, why can't we just get back to our real selves? This isn't supposed to be us. Yes, we always fight. Always argue but never that much."

Everybody was surprised at blond archer's calm words. She was holding herself back from screaming. It was so obvious. And Conner found her right. She had every right to scream, yell, kick,punch... they were changing and already nearly lost a teammate. Twice. So, he got up and said the things that made others shocked.

"Look, I caused The Boy Wonder to become sad, maybe depressed. Even more than he looked in our first fight." He continued with a deep sigh. "This started with Robin saving us back there and we blaming him. Then, it became worse with Batman insulting him after Artemis and some of us that he trusted the most." he narrowed his eyes at Wally. "But at the final, we almost got rid out of this stupid past as this mission came over. Now, it is my fault that he is not okay back again. I am going to fix it."

And try not to mess up. Conner added inside of his head. He walked towards the doors as the team smiled softly behind him.

"Finally!" muttered Wally.

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Conner knocked on the Robin's door. Light knocks first, then a little stronger, but no answer came. He started to get impatient. "Robin, can we talk?" He waited a little before bumping on the door. "Hey, I know you are mad but I have to- we need you. I am sorry, Robin."

A few minutes passed. He talked and talked and talked. Seriously, was he even listening or was Conner talking to the door? The answer came next to him before he even tried to finish his words. "Robin, C'mon-!"

A man, probably in 40s, touched his shoulder lightly. "Sir, there is no one inside of there." Conner looked at the man with confused look on his face.

"No, my friend is in there. He stays in this room." The guy narrowed his eyes and looked at the door numbers. 217th room.

"What was this friend of yours name again, Mister?" He asked.

"Robin. Why?" Conner said. The man chuckled. Just tell me where he is...

"So, he uses that codename to get away from papparazi and fangirls? That is creative but Mr. Wayne never told us about that. We could have him bodyguards for scary fangirls." The man said, smiling softly.

Mr. Who? Mr. Wayne? Isn't it the guy who helped us staying in here?

"What? Robin doesn't need bodyguards. And I think papparazi would be scared of him when they hear his laugh." Conner said awkwardly. That made the man's chuckles turn into soft laughs.

"Sir, those fangirls and papparazi are wilder than any animals. So I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Grayson came here in such hurry with injuries and bruises all over his face." As the man started to leave, he saw Conner's face even more confused. "Oh, he didn't tell you his full name? He is Richard Grayson. Ward of the billionaire Bruce Wayne. And he left last night in hurry with his sunglasses on his face. I never had the chance to ask him why he wears them in the dark of the night but he left so fast. His clothes almost fell from his suitcase."

As the man left, one question bumped into Conner's head. What Have I Done?

And that just only made him feel more guilty than before. More pain, more knives.

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Thank you all for your supports and wishes, guys. I really don't know what to say. I just learned that you don't have to see what you look like or what you have done before. The important thing is what you are doing right now and what will you do. I earned more friends, actually real friends here. I don't care where you guys are from, seriously I don't. Because you taught me things more than I learned from my friends back in my old city. This lesson was the best gift I'd ever wish for. I gave myself time like some of you told me to do. Now, I saw a comment in chapter Listen. One of you called me 'your young hero' (I know who did. I memorized the name :) ) but you have to know, all of you are my heroes.

Thank you for supporting me. If this book is now more than 1K votes, it is of course because of your helps. You got me out of a big deppresion.

You are part of my past, my present and my future.

And this will go on like this.

~S.

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