Girlfriend

18. Therapy

Tonight is my date with Cathy Jean and I'm trying to not jump out of my skin. Lights are strung around the backyard and it looks very romantic. Maybe this will make Cathy Jean feel happy for once.

I don't know what I'm expecting from her tonight. My goal is to make her happy in any way possible because her life seems so depressing right now. I know she probably won't smile but it's okay. As long as I get to spend some private time with her, my mission is accomplished.

"Michael, your girl's here!" LaToya sang, as she skipped into my room. "You look nice!"

"Thanks. Can you get the door for me?" I asked. I was beginning to feel nervous.

"Sure. Ooh, this is so exciting!" LaToya squealed as she turned around and left the room.

I rushed outside to the backyard so I could be there before Cathy Jean. As I waited, I fantasized about what she was wearing and how beautiful she'll look tonight. She is way too pretty to be so sad all the time.

Then the back door opened and the real pressure started to sit in. Time seemed to stand still and all that mattered in that moment was her.

Cathy Jean carefully navigated her way down the steps in the platform heels that adorned her feet and approached me with an obscure look in her eye. I acknowledged her choice in attire which happened to be a blue corduroy dress with a long sleeved white ruffled undershirt. The white socks she had chosen to pair with her platform heels captured the shape of her calves perfectly and really showed how ballet was bettering her body. In conclusion, I was speechless.

She wrapped her arms around my neck without warning and I awkwardly hugged her back hoping she didn't notice how nervous I was.

"How are you?" I asked, attempting to start a light conversation.

"I'm okay. You?"

"I'm good."

She unwrapped her arms from around my neck and stroked my cheek a couple times.

She touched me.

"Have a...um...seat," I stuttered, gesturing to the table.

She nodded and sat down. I poured her some lemonade and sat down with her.

"Look, I hate to put a damper on the mood but I have to tell you something about David," she said, placing her napkin in her lap.

"What is it?"

"He's what you call...persistent. Ever since our outing, he's been pursuing me more than ever. I know he likes me but I don't like him. I like you."

Oh my god.

"So I just wanted to let you know that just in case you see anything suspicious," she told me.

"Is he bothering you?" I asked.

"A little bit, yes," she admitted. "But I can handle it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"How's your mom?"

Cathy Jean scoffed and stabbed some lettuce with her fork. "My mom is about as mom as it gets."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I laughed.

"She's getting on my nerve like always."

"How so?"

"She made me an appointment with a doctor to see what's wrong with me when we've both known for a long time that I'm depressed. She just didn't want to admit it or whatever. I'm sure you can tell something's wrong with me, right?"

From the moment I met Cathy Jean I could tell she was different than any other person I've ever met. The fact that she refuses to smile because she thinks her life is so dismal is a little odd to me. I always try to smile. Things always turn out good in the end.

Although I think it's good that she's not trying to hide her feelings. She lets people know when she's not impressed and I like that about her. I think she's hiding her happiness too. She's been hiding it so long that it doesn't show through anymore. Masking happiness is something I've never heard of. I wonder if it's hard.

"Right?" Cathy Jean repeated, almost begging me to answer her question.

"I don't think something's wrong I just think you're...holding back," I replied, choosing my words carefully.

"Holding back what?"

"I know you have something to be happy about, but you let the negative in your life take over," I explained. "I know there's things that make you happy. I'll name them. Dancing, Chaka Kahn and me. Right?"

"Yeah."

I know she was swallowing a smile.

"You dance everyday, listen to Chaka Kahn religiously and you're on a date with me. You should be happy!" I exclaimed. "But you're not."

"I know," she sighed.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"My mom! She just makes me so upset!" Cathy Jean cried. "I can't do anything with her around."

"Why not?"

"She asks too many questions."

"It's because she's your mom."

"I don't care. I'm nineteen. She's not the boss of me anymore," she insisted. "I'm just sick of her."

"What did she ever do to you?" I inquired, looking her dead in the eye. "I want to know."

She was taken aback by my tone. I waited patiently for an answer. "Well?"

"She made promises to me in the past that she's broken and hurt my feelings really bad," she said, looking down at her food.

"That's it?"

"And other things. I mean, I don't want to be mean to her I just am."

"The way you treat her depends on you, you know that right?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"And I know your mom gets on your nerve. Janet's at that stage right now. But she's still your mom and she loves you a lot. I'm sure it hurts her when you say you hate her and stuff like that. I know you don't really hate your mom, Cathy Jean," I whispered. "You're just upset."

"You sound like a therapist," Cathy Jean joked, her eyes shining.

"I just want to help you. I don't want you to be so sad all the time," I told her.

"Thanks."

She nodded and folded her hands in her lap. We didn't talk about her mom anymore.

She gave me a big hug before she got in her little red Chevy and drove away. Tonight went better than I thought it would. She asked if she could come over tomorrow and I agreed. If she trusts me, maybe I can help her with her issues. Something made her this way and if I find out what it was then I've won. I wonder what it was.