because i love you | jjk

eighteen

ji eun sat at her kitchen table, staring at the wall in front of her blankly with puffy, red eyes.

she decided to make dinner for both herself and jungkook. he said that he was going to come home, so she decided to make food for him, thinking that he might be hungry when he does.

but he left the house in the morning, and it was almost eleven thirty at night now.

ji eun rubbed her eyes and stared at her full plate of food. she wanted to eat with him, but it didn't look like he was coming home anytime soon.

her appetite was fading with her happiness.

she pushed her plate away from her and buried her head in her arms. she sighed and felt herself drifting off into sleep.

she closed her eyes and remembered today's events.

she hated herself so much for saying those words to him. taehyung told her that jungkook didn't hate her and ji eun knew he didn't. but there was that side of her that hated herself.

she wished she could do more than just "be there for him." she knew taehyung's words were meant to help her feel better, but she couldn't help but feel completely useless.

suddenly, she heard the front door open and close, followed by a loud exhale.

"ji eun? why are you still up? it's late." jungkook said, rubbing her back.

"i made dinner for you," she said, pointing to the plates in front of them. "are you hungry?" she asked, getting out of her seat and picking up the plates. "i'll heat this up for you real quick."

"it's okay, i got food while i was out." he said.

"oh," she said, feeling dejected. "where did you go?"

"no where," he said walking away from her and into the restroom.

ji eun looked down at the plates in her hands and held back tears.

i worked hard to make this... she thought. she heaved a heavy, dejected sigh and proceeded to get plastic wrap.

maybe he'll eat it tomorrow.

⊲⊳

she sat on her bed alone, scrolling through her phone. she heard the bathroom open as her boyfriend walked out with a towel around his shoulders.

"hey," she said, getting off her phone. "you can sleep here." she said, pointing to the spot next to her.

"thanks, but... i really want to be alone right now. i think i'll sleep in the living room." he said.

ji eun's heart broke at his words. how could she be there for him when he didn't even want her?

ji eun quickly grabbed her pillow. "n-no, no! it's okay!" she exclaimed, trying not to stutter too much. "you can stay here, i'll go." she quickly walked out the door, closing it behind her, and into her living room, avoiding eye contact with jungkook.

she wasn't strong enough to look him in the eyes yet.

she settled in a comfortable position on the couch, thankful that she had a blanket in the living room.

she stared blankly at the ceiling and felt her tears emerge. she tried to muffle her sobs by covering her mouth with her arm, slightly succeeding. she couldn't live with herself if jungkook had found her crying.

she was supposed to be the strong one.

but in all honestly, she hoped that he would come out and ask her to come back to the room.

she wanted him to comfort her, and she felt like a piece of shit for wanting that. it should be the other way around.

she didn't deserve to call herself his girlfriend. but taehyung's words echoed in her mind.

you're all he has right now.

she'd do anything to help him.

ji eun pulled her blanket up to her face and tried to sleep, letting her blanket and her pillow absorb her tears.