Changing Past

Chapter 34: Behind the Scenes

                  Alex's P.O.V
Imagine that everything and everyone that you thought you knew turned out to be something completely different. Would you just adjust or would you try and make sense of it all while keeping everything the way you like it?

What if you really didn't need oxygen to breathe, it was just something people told you like the myth that it takes seven years to digest gum so don't swallow it. When in reality, it only takes 3 days.

How about if your brother or sister really didn't exist, they were just figments of your imagination as a child. Would you feel betrayed by your own brain or how about disappointed that the one person you thought you could trust wasn't real.

What if someone told you that the life you had been living for so long was just a dream, and in any second you would wake up and be someone completely different.

Different eyes, hair, nose, chin, clothes, shoes, parents, siblings, family, school, and friends. Everything would be flipped upside down and you'd have no power to stop it so you'd sit there, breathing slowly to try to come to terms with everything being a fantasy. Your mind and senses would go blank and you'd be empty, and all that would be left was a corpse that was meaningless in this world filled with twists and turns that are never ending.

"No."

"No what?"

"No, I'm not saying that I wouldn't think about it. I'm just saying that it would be too soon. Michael proposing is like a four year old going to high school-"

"Don't be so in-denial! You know the second you say you're making your decision, he's going to be down on one knee asking you to marry him and then-"

"There won't be a 'and then', because the proposing will never happen! Listen Dani, even if he did I wouldn't say yes because I just turned 18. I'm still just a kid, and I want to finish college first before I start a family."

I pulled my tangly brown hair into a high ponytail before putting on kitchen gloves to start washing the dishes.

"And I get that, but they're not going to wait forever. Sooner or later you're going to have to tell them, so you might as well do it tonight."

"No, I'm not telling them tonight it's too late. I'll tell them tomorrow."

"But tomorrow is Luke's birthday, and don't you want to spend time with him. You guys haven't really been spending a lot of time together since you got back."

"Yeah, I know it's just when we were in Toronto we kinda got into a rough spot. Now I'm just trying to figure out what I want you know? After all of this, I feel like it's pointless if I still don't know who I want to be with."

"I can't imagine, but what did you guys fight about? You never exactly told me. You looked pretty tired when you came back."

"Over some trust things, but I think I got over them. Now, it's just the fact that I feel like I don't know him at all. I mean the first day we met there was just this spark that lit up when we were near each other. I kissed him within the first hour of meeting him. It was just a thank you kiss, but still. I feel like maybe I jumped in too fast with him."

"So you're saying you regret it?"

"I'm saying...I feel nothing."

Her eyebrows raised in confusion and her nose crinkled up normally like it did when she was thinking too hard.

"I'm not sure I'm following here. What do you mean you don't feel anything?"

"I mean the spark isn't there anymore. With either of them. With Luke, it's just so much of the same old same old. It just seems like now all we do is fight. I don't know anything about him, so that doesn't really help. Michael is just a bunch of mixed feelings from the past and hopefulness for the future. In all honesty, I shouldn't even be with him in the first place. He's hit me what, twice now? I can't be with someone like that. I get the first time he was drugged and I understand that that situation wasn't his fault, but the second time was."