Adorably Abducted ✧ Sparklington/SyndiSparklez

Please God

"Jordy, wake up..." James whispered into my ear.

I kept my eyes clenched shut. I didn't want to deal with the pain anymore. I'm exhausted.

All the rules, all the abuse, all the games, all the lies. It was too hard to keep track off.

"Jordy, please... I need you to wake up," James murmured.

He couldn't claim I was fighting with him if I was asleep.

I felt James place a soft kiss on my forehead, resting his hand against my knee.

I failed. The plan failed.

I was supposed to be dead, or out of this chair.

But here I am.

Ropes secured, head pounding, lungs aching.

I kept my eyes shut, trying to control my breathing. I wanted to know what he was doing.

I had to act like I was still asleep.

I could hear James' joints crack, like they do when he crouches in front of me.

I tried to focus on his quiet words.

"Please, God, don't let him die. I love him," he cooed. "I want him to be mine. I've pushed him too far, I just wanted him to obey me. I don't want to kill him, I just want him to love me."

I bit down on my tongue.

I felt like crying.

Not because I was sad for James, because I was sad I was alive to hear this.

I should've made him angrier. I didn't complete my job.

My fingers stung as I tried to wiggle them around. They were still swollen and bandaged together.

The bones on my wrists rubbed together as I adjusted the position of my arms. The rope was still there, but it wasn't secured as tightly as it usually was.

I flinched as James' soft lips pressed against my forehead once more.

"Jordan?" he whispered, his hot breath warming my face.

Fighting my instincts, I kept my eyes clenched shut.

He sighed, before using my knee as support to stand back up.

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving me alone in this hell hole.

I carefully lifted my head, a wave of dizziness flooding over me.

My chest tightened, and I had to concentrate on taking another breath.

James wouldn't let me die.

I wish he squeezed his hands a little tighter, holding his grasp on my neck until my heart stopped.

Jesus, Jordan, listen to yourself!

I don't want to be here anymore.

The plan wasn't suicide. The plan was to get out. Safely.

That will never work.

It might. Think about Tom. He'd never live with himself if he knew you wanted James to kill you.

It's an escape.

It's selfish.

I wanted to go home, record Minecraft, make jokes with my friends, and praise fake gods. I wanted to read the comments on my videos, while drinking a glass of orange juice. I wanted to be happy.

My breathing slowed, as I controlled my nerves, just like how Tom had taught me. It was easier to calm down with Tom by my side, snuggling against me.

His kisses would always keep me safe.

But Tom doesn't love me anymore.

He supposedly cheated on me, with James.

And now I'm here, with James.

Not by choice.

Crusted, crimson blood stained the tender skin on my thighs. The five fresh cuts looked infected and inflamed. They were healing, but James messed it all up.

My depression was healing. My relationships were healing. My life was healing.

James messed it all up.

And now he thinks I'm dying.

Because I am.

I'm going to die here of blood loss and infection.

And it's all his fault.

James is the enemy.