On Tour

Chapter 14- repaired

A/N
Really quick before I right this chapter, anyone else see the interview where Josh talks about masturbating and Tyler can't stop laughing for a good 20 seconds? Also I'm sad because I just realized I probably never see my idols in concert :/

Lily's POV
Beeping.... Noises.... Am.. I awake....... Wake.... Up..... I open my eyes and I try to move my hand. It's stuck down to a table. Where am I? "Hello?" I say trying to sit up. I can't because my whole body's stuck to the table. I start to freak out and the beeping gets really fast. "Let me out!" I scream squirming around, my voice sounds really hoarse. After a while my body gets tired and I quit. I feel a tear roll down my cheek, what if I'm stuck here forever? I hear a door burst open. "Lily, good morning!" A peppy woman says coming over to me. "What happened?" I say and my head starts pounding. "You were in a car accident sweetie, you were with a Tyler And Jenna Joseph." Tyler! "Are they okay?!" I scream and it made my throat hurt, she seems jolted by my sudden burst of energy but says, "Yes I believe Tyler broke his arm and Jenna only has a few scratches. You were on the bottom of the crash, you have a small concussion and you broke your whole arm and hand." She says a little less peppy with a frown, I swear you can only find the most fake people in hospitals. "When can I see them?" I say, I can't really remember anything that happened, except what Josh said to me when I couldn't move, "How long have I been here?" "You can see them anytime you want, who would you like us to call? And you've been here for 4 days." Four days?! Wait what day did Josh come in? Was that even Josh? I mean like I'm pretty sure it was. "Josh- Joshua Dun" I say and she leaves the room. I lay back down and stare at the ceiling. They probably won't even want to see me. I'm such a burden on there life, they shouldn't have to deal with me. Why does this have to happen. I say and I don't hold back the tears anymore. The peppy lady opens the door, "We can't get ahold of him, anyone else?" See he's probably ignoring me, he wants me gone, he probably wished I had died. "Tyler Joseph?" Wait! I didn't mean to say that. She shuts the door. Now I seem like a clingy b*tch. Why would I even say Tyler's name if his best friend already wants me gone. Wait stop it, if Josh didn't answer, maybe somethings wrong! I grit my teeth. "They're on their way." She says cracking the door and leaving. On their way? They still care? They probably don't, they just have enough heart to not leave me here. I get up slowly. Ow ow ow, I'm in a lot of pain. I groan and get up grabbing my IV stand. I fall back on my bed, "Wow I'm weaker than I thought." I mumble to myself trying to stand up again. I grab my IV stand for support and walk/roll over to the bathroom. I turn on the light and, "Woah....... What the h*ll" I say looking at myself. My long brown hair is knotted and I have scratch running down from my temple to my cheek bone. My eyes look grey and tired. I try to undress myself with my one hand. The cast they put on me is hard and white. I finally strip down out of the blue scrubs and sit down on the toilet, resting from the long and hard process of getting undressed. My body is layered with scratches and bruises, I look really bad. I still feel pretty sleepy but I'm pretty sure it's just from the anesthesia. On the counter is my washed cloths from the accident, some soap, a toothbrush, my bracelet, and a hair brush. I guess this hospital isn't half bad. I throw my Addis black shorts on the ground, step into them, and try to pull them up. This isn't an easy process with one hand. I open my shirt and it's ripped in some places but I don't really care anymore. I throw on my white t-shirt surprised on how they got the blood stains out. I grab the brush and brush out my hair the best I can. I try my best to put on my bracelet my mom got me and I'm still really surprised and ecstatic they could salvage it. I look in the mirror and I think I look pretty decent for just being in a car crash and only having one arm to work with. I mean like I don't look good, but whatever. "Lily?" I hear an older lady say in the room. "Here" I say my voice still sounding pretty hoarse, I grab my IV stand and walk out. "Hi I'm here to take out your IV." She says in a sweet voice. I go to sit down, I smile at her happy to be alive. She starts to put on her gloves as she says, "Your eyes are really pretty." I smile at her because she doesn't seem as fake as the others, "No, not now, I actually look pretty gross, I'm better with makeup on." I say and she pulls out the IV making me jump a little. She sets it on her table and gets up to go get a cotton ball and some tape, "You don't need any makeup sweetie your beautiful!" She says sticking a cotton ball on my arm. I like her, she reminds me of my birth mom. My arm is bruised all over, I thank her and she gets up to leave the room, "Take care of youself" she says shutting the door. I feel a bit more mobile without the IV stand but I'm really shaky. "Lillian?" That voice sounds familiar. I lay back on my bed, it's just another doctor. I hear the door open and a head appears above my face. "Tyler? Tyler!" I say jolting up, I stand up way to quickly and fall on him. He catches me with his one useful hand and and hugs me tight. "I'm so glad your alive!" He says, is he crying? He wants me to exist still? "It's been a mess without you, We need you back." He says breaking the hug grabbing my shoulder, he is crying. I start to cry a little too. "Thanks for coming here, I had them try to call Josh but he didn't pick up." I frown a little remembering how he probably wants me dead anyway. "No, Lily. It's not like that- here follow me let's go I think you need to see something." Tyler says, I grab my phone and he grabs my hand basically pulling me out the door. It's a long walk till I see what I'm pretty sure Tyler wanted me to see. He lets go of my hand and I look to him in disbelief. I see Jenna crying, rubbing Josh's back, yelling at him in a silent way. I can't hear what she's yelling at him for but I don't need to know. Josh has scratches all over himself and it looks like he's beat himself up, he's bawling to the point where he's gasping for air and he has his head in his hands. I saw what I needed to see and I pull Tyler into a room. My mouth is wide open and I start to cry again. "Tyler I don't think I can do this." I hold my stomach looking at the floor. Tears start rolling off my face, why did Josh do that to himself. "Look at me." Tyler says but I completely ignore him. Josh is a danger to himself! If he doesn't stop he might kill himself! Why did he do this?! I-I can't. My breath quickens. I'm gonna have a panic attack. No lily not here- "Look at me!" Tyler demands, grabbing my jaw lightly, forcing me to look at him. "I can't see him like this, Tyler I can't." I'm defeated. This is it. Tyler looks me dead in the eyes, he eyes are bloodshot and it's clear he hasn't been taking care of himself for the past few days either. His hair isn't as fluffy or as fixed as it usually is and he looks tired, really tired. "Do you think I like to either. Lily he's my best friend and honestly I'm scared of and for him! He thinks it's his fault! Lily he needs you. I think your the only thing that can fix him this time." He says, wow, I haven't seen someone look more defeated than I do since when my mom died and my dad was devastated. I take a deep breath and Tyler pulls me in for a hug. "You can do this" he says patting my back a bit, but that's the thing I can't do this, also I don't know how to handle this! I take deep breaths and walk out. I use every inch of my strength both physically and mentally to walk over to Jenna and Josh. I stop like 10 feet away from them. What's keeping me from not going over there. I can't do this! I turn around and see Tyler walking my way. I instantly turn back around and stand there. I gotta do this, for me, for Jenna and Tyler, and for Josh. When Jenna looks at me I know there's no turning back. She smiles at me and whispers something to Josh. Josh whips his head towards me and I feel my stomach drop. I'm not sure who looks worse, me, or him. He stands up but doesn't move any closer to me. He obviously been crying and hurting himself. "Lily?" I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this, I start to freak out but when Josh starts running towards me all the fear goes away. I run towards him and we embrace each other really tight. He and I both start sobbing into each other's arms. "I.. Thought... You were dead" he says in between our sobs. Snot and tears all running down our faces we stay there hugging. We're both are shaking really badly but I never want this moment to end. I missed him so bad and seeing him brake himself down like this tears me apart. I nuzzle my head in his shoulder while we stand there never braking the hug. I don't want to ever let go, standing there in his arms makes me feel so safe, secure, wanted. He brakes the hug and puts his hands on my shoulders, he looks deep in my eyes and says, "Don't ever leave" I feel my lip quiver and I say still crying, "I won't, I promise." I fall back into his arms, right exactly where I want to be right now.