On Tour

Chapter 44- Ready or Not

1 month Later
"That was an INSANE concert! You did so good!" I say taking off my spandex pants, there not very stylish but honestly it's all I can ever fit into these days. "What was your favorite part?" Josh says taking off his shirt, revealing his sweaty abs. He throughs his shirt to the side and I say, "Probably where Tyler almost feel off his piano and into the confetti cannon, it wasn't really that funny to him probably but to me, I almost peed my pants right then and there." I laugh at the memory walking over to Josh. Josh laughs too, and he kisses me, our kiss starts to heat up and I push his chest away playfully, "Wash up first, ya nasty." He smirks and spins his way to the shower. I feel my pants become suddenly soaked and I yell for Josh, suddenly worried, "I'm wet!" I yell, he starts walking out of the bathroom, "Way to be discreet." He says laughing coming out of the bathroom. "No like, J-Josh I think my water just broke!" His eyes widen and so do mine. This is it. We both smile, the time has come. "Alright, alright. Lets go! We'll grab Tyler and Jenna on the way out." He says starting to grab everything he needs, "Make sure you have everything please." I say grabbing my phone in a hurry. "Phone, keys, wallet, baby bag," he mutters, making a mental note. He says he has everything and we immediately leave the hotel, grabbing Tyler and Jenna on our way out. On the car ride to the hospital all I can think about, besides painful contractions, is to why I'm having this baby so early, I'm only 7 months pregnant for god's sake. Ow, ow, OW! F*CK YOU THOUGHTS, ALL I FEEL IS PAIN AHHHHHH.
"GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME!" I yell as the doctors rush into the room. I can't stop myself from whimpering, it feels although all my bones are breaking at once. "I see her head." "Doctor she's coming quick." "Call the neo natal unit." "Prep an OR." "Push!" So many doctors are saying so many things and all I can think about at the moment, "IM BEING TORE APART!" Whoops I say that out loud?! Wait did I hear neo natal unit?! PREP AN OR?! "One more push Lily!" "DON'T YOU THINK IM TRYING DAMNIT?! ARGGGG" All the stress makes me push even harder and then suddenly I feel a sudden rush of relief. The relief is then turned into horror as I realize, "Why isn't she crying?!" I yell, hoarse and weak. I get no response, more doctors rush in with a small table, "Why isn't she crying?!" I yell once more, starting to loose my voice. All at once, all the doctors start to leave the room, "Where are you taking her?! Josh where are they taking my baby?!" I scream, me and Josh both getting ignored and frustrated. He's yelling at doctors and with no response, he runs over to me grabbing my hand, "I'm gonna go with them and find out what's happening, I love you, I'll be back, I promise." He says panicked and fast, he kisses my hand, leaving me alone with no one in the room. The room starts to spin and I scream once more, "I want my baby! I want my..........." Everything goes dark.

"Good morning Mrs. Gilchorn." I hear a man say, I open my eyes and am blinded by the sun through the window. I through my arm in front of my face and it gets tugged on by the IV's. "Wha-What happened?" I say, my voice very hoarse. It's heavy to breath and the man starts talking, "We think you may have passed out from the pain and the sudden rush of stress and adrenaline." I see Josh walk over to me, he pulls a chair out, sitting next to my bed, he takes my hand in his, "It's normal for most pre-me pregnancies to have the mother pass out." He says, I'm a mother. I look around the room, eyeing everything down, looking for Amara. "My baby? Is a, is she okay? The last thing I remember was a bunch of doctors were stealing her from me." I say and the man laughs a little, "Yes, as you probably know, she was born early. See in normal pregnancies there is this fluid in the uterus, and it basically helps the baby to grow and keep warm and moist. And we later found out that not only did your uterus not have any of this fluid, but it caused for the development of the trachea to be delayed," "Excuse me what?" I say interrupting him, "She is ok now, we have her in the neo natal unit as of now, it's going to take her a few weeks for everything to finish developing but we are optimistic for a full recovery with no dilemmas." He ends, I can't help thinking that maybe I could've ate better or exercised more, I don't know, maybe there was a way I could've preven-, "And before you think it was something you did, it wasn't. Many mothers think that oh, well I could've done this, but in reality there is nothing you could've done to prevent it." Well there's goes that thought. "So she will be ok?" Josh adds in, squeezing my hand a bit tight, "We can't promise anything but like I said, we are highly optimistic that she will suffer no complications and will be heathy." He says, "When can we see her?" I spit out, he smiles at me and says, "As soon as your husband rolls you to the 3rd floor." He grabs a wheelchair from the closet and opens it. I don't understand how he can be cracking jokes when all I am is worried sick. I guess maybe it's becuase he deals with cases like this everyday but still, my stomach is in knots. Josh and the man helps me in the wheel chair, and I groan many times, it feels like I've been hit by a bus. The man leads us to the neo natal unit, and the whole time we wheel there, me and Josh are quiet, sick with worry. "This way," he says leading us into the room that has many small babies hooked up to various machines, I smile to the parents that stand next to the babies, they all have the same worry face on that Josh does, they all also look run down and tired. "Here she is, weighing at one pound on the dot." He says motioning to a small baby, about the size of my hand. My eyes start to water, "Hi baby," I say whispering, rubbing her small, soft, innocent cheek with my index finger. She's so small, "What are all these-these things attached to her?" I say, my eyes never leave her small little body. "The tubes you see in her mouth are helping her lungs open up, they are also providing her oxygen and supplements. The blue wire on her left side is monitoring her internal growth. The other wires and stickers you see on her are monitoring her vitals, and the iv in her arm is to keep her sedated so she doesn't try to pull anything out. The sedative will only be used for today, she's gone through a major trauma and after today she will just sleep until she's ready to be taken off some of these machines." He ends, Josh comes over, putting one of his arms around me, and one rubbing her leg, "She's beautiful," he says, his eyes are watering like mine and I smile at him. "She is," I say looking at him, "She really is," I say looking back down at her. That's our beautiful little baby girl, right there. I feel terrible for her, she looks like she's in so much pain, she's so fragile already. I rub her little tiny baby hairs. She's only been into this world for a few hours and I would already die for her. "Can I hold her?" I say, looking up at the doctor. "Unfortunately no, she's at high rate for infections and we would risk pulling out something that is supplying her life." I sigh, looking back down at her. "Soon baby." I say a tear rolling down my cheek. "Soon," Josh says, squeezing my arm.