On Tour

Chapter 29- denial/new era

I look down at my hands and fidget, but I look back up in the darkness and the thunder rolls on, "I think it's time we talked..." I say, Tyler, sitting on the edge of the bed like me, looks up at me and I say, "I think it's time we talked." The thunders roars and the rain picks up, I look up at Tyler and say, "Josh deserves to know what happened that night." Tyler scratches the back of his head looking around the room only making eye contact with me when he ends his sentence, "What happened that night is forgotten, in the past. What I did was impulsive and not a big deal." I keep eye contact with him as the lighting strikes and lights up the room, "Hearing Zac-" "Don't say his name." Tyler says coldly interrupting me, "Getting news like that, and trying to kill your self a week later is NOT an impulsive thing. What you did-" "What I did is non of your damn business." "Excuse me but what YOU did was fight me trying to save your life, you see that night that I followed you into the bathroom it BECAME my damn business." I say starting to raise my voice. "You Moron, don't you understand, you should've let me die, I wanted to be with Z- I WANTED TO BE WITH MY BROTHER AND YOU STOPPED THE PROCESS." Tyler says standing up. "You see what your doing here? You say it's not a big deal but it is! I can't live with this on my back Tyler! Josh, Jenna, Your parents, Your siblings, they DESERVE to know what happened that night, they should know and then they can help you through this!" I stand up also, "IM ONE PERSON TYLER AND YOU NEED HELP THAT I CANT GIVE!" The thunder rolls and the rain slows. "Then fine, get out." Tyler says, I look at his dark eyes, I push his chest gently so he falls back on his bed. There are so many more things I could say but I walk my way over to the door and just as I'm about to leave I say over my shoulder, "If you wanna hide from this, fine. But one day not telling the people you love will come back to haunt you. Get your shit together Tyler, before you start turning people against you." I walk out and shut the door. The thunder is roaring and the rain picks back up. Emotionless but enraged I walk through the hall down to the kitchen. I make my way to the sliding glass doors and put my black hood over my head, I slowly try to open the doors without making much noise. I walk out to the porch and sit with my knees against my chest, I sit there and watch the rain poor and listen to the thunder and watch the lighting. I look down at my bracelet my mom gave me, I never thought I would be one of those people, those people who wear all black clothes and black makeup, I never struck myself for the dark type. When I was a little girl I wanted to be a surgeon, a bright happy person who gave their patients suckers and candy every time they visited, it seems although I'm the polar opposite now. I always use to be afraid of storms but now I find them calming. The days seem shorter and the nights seem darker. I find myself pondering over the littlest things lately, I'm alone with my thoughts since the tours been post-poned. Im getting really tired and the storm seems to becoming to an end. I might as well go lay in a bed tonight. I get up and sneak my way back into the house, I lock the doors and sneak my way back into the bathroom. I take off my wet clothes and I see one of Josh's oversized white t shirts, I throw it on and look at myself in the mirror. I like how the dark makeup looks, I look mysterious, I think I'll leave it on tonight. I tip toe my way back into Josh and I's room. He's sound asleep and snoring a little bringing a small smile to my face. I hop in bed next to him and curl up to the warm sheets. Did I say the storm was ending? Well I guess I was wrong...