The Manila Charmers : TROY

38

" Sorry po, Tita."  He hugged Tita who is now crying out louder than an hour ago. Napaupo na sya sa sahig at pilit na pinapatayo ng mga kaibigan ni Roxanne pero tinatanggal niya ang mga kamay nila.

" Hindi pwedeng mangyari ito! Roxanne!! ROXAAAANNNEEEE ANAK KOOOO!!!!""

" Tita."

" BITAWAN NIYO AKO! Gusto kong makita si Roxanne! Hindi totoong patay na ang anak ko! ROXAAANNNE!!!" Her voice filled the whole room. Walang makaawat sa kanya.  She went straight to the emergency room at hinabol kaagad namin siya.

Sinalubong kami ni Roxanne, still on her wedding dress covered with blood. Maputla na siya and hindi na humihinga.

Sabihin mo sa akin na masamang panaginip lang ito.

" Roxanne!!! Anak!!", she hugged her lifeless body and tried to hear her breathing pero wala talagang response.

I was just right beside her, rubbing her back. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nakakayanan na makita si Roxanne na ganito.

Then tears slowly came out of my eyes. Putangina. Bakit hinayaan ko pang maagaw siya ng iba? Bakit huli na ang lahat?

I held Roxi's hand for a while and looked at her calm face. Gusto kong kabisaduhin ang bawat detalye ng mukha niya. Gusto kong maalala bawat memory na ginawa namin habang nakatingin ako sa kanya.

Gusto kong sumunod sa kanya.

" Isunod niyo na ako kay Roxanne." I said while still looking at her face. Tumingin sila sa akin. " Parang awa niyo na, patayin niyo na lang ako." I kneeled on the floor and held her hand tightly.

" Rox naman. Ang daya mo.. Please let me..die." Tears turned to croaky voice and then I went quiet. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko mahahandle ang ganitong mga  emosyon.

Kung sino pa pinakamahalaga sa'yo, siya pang mawawala.

Gusto ko na lang sumunod kay Roxanne. Gusto kong iwanan ang mundo at sumama sa kanya. There was nothing in this world that is more important than to be with her.

Kuya patted my back and pulled me off of her. " Tama na, Troy. There is no use in.."

" Putangina mo! Kasalanan mo ito!", I punched him straight in the right cheek. " Kung hindi ka ba naman gahaman sa pera, ROXANNE WOULDN'T DIE! IKAW NA LANG SANA NAMATAY!!" Joaquin pulled me away from my brother and tried to calm me down.

" SANA IKAW NA LANG NAMATAY! F*CK YOU!!!" , my voice broke again and here I am, crying. " Wala na akong gana mabuhay. Just kill me... Please..."

Tatlong araw naming binurol si Roxanne sa may bahay namin. I was there mula araw hanggang gabi. I kept on looking at her in the coffin. Dinadasalan at tahimik na kwinekwentuhan.

Nawalan ako ng gana kumain at magtrabaho. Dad excused me to Battens Corporation for a week after ng libing niya.

On her funeral, halos gusto nang sumunod sa hukay ng Mama niya. Namamaga lahat ng mga mata namin kakaiyak, lalo na ako. I have never cried for anyone in my life bukod sa pagkamatay ng Mommy ko. I was just looking at Roxanne's coffin, wishing it was just me who died.

Wala na akong makikilala na tulad niya.

Alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi kayang magpaalam sa kanya.

She is my first love.
Always and forever.