Pride {l.s.}

14- Fake

"I don't like her."

"You don't have to like my girlfriend, Zayn, just tolerate her," I snap back. It's after hours, and Zayn doesn't want to go home. I bought some sandwiches from the shop down the street. We sit on the floor in the back. We eat, and Zayn sketches ideas for new paintings. We haven't done this in awhile. It's nice to just sit with Zayn like this without having to worry about someone coming in and disrupting us.

"I never got to finish talking to you about Harry the other day," Zayn brings up again. I really wish we stopped talking about this.

"I don't need to know what you were going to say," I tell him. I take a swig of the beer that we brought back here.

Zayn sighs and turns to face me. "Are you happy with Eleanor?"

"Yes," I lie with a smile to make it more convincing. I just need more time with her. She'll fix me.

Zayn shrugs and turns back to his sketch. "Then we won't talk about it. Just tell me when you don't like being with her, and we'll have a talk about Harry. Speaking of Harry, is it okay if Liam comes over within the next couple days for some dinner?"

I know that Zayn is bisexual, so I figure that he wants this as more than a friendship. I don't mention that though, but I do see the way that Zayn looks at Liam. They've been quite attached every since they met.

"Are we talking about dinner like eating out or back in the studio with some beers?" I ask.

"In the back here with some beers," Zayn replies. "He's a low-key guy. We don't need to go out for some fancy dinner."

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind that. I never got to meet Liam very much either. I see him with you sometimes, but the only time we hung out was when I was sick. That doesn't exactly count. It should be fun."

***

Liam arrives the next night with a smile on his face and a six pack. Zayn pulls him in to a big hug, which is odd considering Zayn isn't much of a touchy feely guy. Liam pulls me into a hug too. It's like being hugged by a big bear. He's a tall guy who is quite muscular. Zayn is much more lanky, but Liam almost has the build of a firefighter. We show Liam to the back of the studio. We sit on the floor and open up the six pack that Liam brought.

"You two have quite the place here. Is it hard to afford?" Liam asks. The way he asks, it doesn't come out rude or pushy. He asks purely out of curiosity.

"I have a lot of savings from my family and some inheritance going on. We split the rent 50/50, and we make it by," Zayn replies. He glances over to me. I look away and take a sip of beer. He knows that I've been struggling to get by for awhile now. I'm glad that he doesn't comment on it in front of Liam.

"What do you do for a living?" I blurt out. "I feel stupid for not knowing."

"A firefighter," Liam replies as if it is nothing.

"He risks his life everyday for these people, and it scares me," Zayn admits.

Liam offers him a soft smile. "You know that I love it. I'm sorry that it scares you."

The conversation flows easily between Zayn and Liam. It's a little odd to see since Zayn doesn't have many friends or talks a ton. Whatever is going on between Liam and him is great, but I can't help but be jealous. It's been just Zayn and I for a while now. Even though we only met the first year of college, we've been inseparable since. We barely go anywhere without the other one. Seeing him with Liam makes me remember how replaceable some people are.

I just really hope that Zayn doesn't try to replace me.

We're all a couple beers in and starting to relax. We lean against any object near us. Zayn and Liam sit close together. I don't comment on it. Instead, I ask a question that I shouldn't be asking.

"How's Harry?"

Liam and Zayn immediately turn to face me. The surprise isn't hidden on either of their faces. I just need to know. I need to know that he is doing okay.

"He's... okay," Liam starts slowly. "He's definitely been a little down since you two went on your break. He writes a lot. He's been cooking a lot. He's working a lot. He just seems to be trying not to have too much time where he isn't doing something. I don't know what you did to him since you two haven't known each other a long time, but he definitely misses you."

I shouldn't have asked. I feel the guilt coming back in.

"It'll all be over soon. I just have to get some stuff done. Excuse me. I'm going to go outside for a smoke."

I excuse myself. I slip out of the room and out of Zayn's gaze. I pull out the package from my black jeans and light a single cigarette. I put it to my mouth and inhale the smoke. I gave up smoking awhile ago. Zayn and I were going to do it together since we both got hooked earlier. Zayn's grandma died, and he fell back into old habits. I don't know what it is that is making me smoke again. I like to think that it's the stress of a new relationship, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with a boy with green eyes.

After I calm down, I head back inside. I'm about to open the door to the studio, but I pause when I hear my name.

"Louis doesn't seem to be coping well either," I hear Liam say with a sigh.

"Louis hasn't been the same. He always was good at faking a smile. He never thought I could see it through it, but I always can. I liked Harry. Louis's smile just became so genuine. I don't like the fake smile that has come back," Zayn adds on.

"What do we do?"

"Nothing. We can't do anything. All we can do is hope that Louis fixes this. Hopefully once their stupid break is over, they'll be okay again."

I leave them be. I slip back into my bedroom. I collapse onto the small bed.

They're right. Nothing feels true since I left Harry. Life lost this color that he brought into my life. I just need to learn to not have him be the one that means so much to me. It's wrong.

I need to learn to want Eleanor.

A/N

I would like to thank you all. You guys decided to spam me with comments on my iPad while I was giving a presentation and my entire class saw. It was horrifying lol.

xoxo raindropkiss1