Pride {l.s.}

64- Lottie

The Story So Far:

Louis plans on going back to his childhood home with Harry to see his sisters again and confront his mother. This is the town where he was in "therapy" for his homosexuality and where people including his parents ridiculed him for his sexuality.

I didn't call my mom to tell her that I was coming. I guess a part of me wanted it to be a surprise, and another part of me didn't want to give them time to tell me not to come. I know that my mother has called numerous times to try to get me home, but that last call still sticks in my head.

She was crying. She didn't cry much when I was growing up except when I told her I was gay, but that was a cry of confusion and pain. The tears that came when she left her last voicemail were tears of pain and want. She wants me home. She mentioned my sisters were asking for me, and that's what I'm most scared of. I'm scared of them not wanting me back because I left.

What if Lottie doesn't care that I'm home? What if Fizzy, Daisy, or Phoebe don't want me back? What if all of my sisters forgot about their big brother?

"Your leg won't stop shaking, love."

"I'm scared," I admit to Harry. I let him drive the couple hours to my hometown since I was too anxious to trust myself driving. I could barely get any food down this morning.

"What's on your mind?"

"What if my sisters forgot about me? What if my mom hates me? What... what if my dad tries to hurt you?" I reply to Harry quickly and quietly. My fear is becoming apparent on my face as Harry slips his free hand into mine.

"I'm going to be fine. I'm going to be right beside you the whole time. We can do this together," Harry reassures me. He lifts my hand to his lips and presses a soft kiss to my skin. "As Troy once said, we're all in this together."

"You gotta stop quoting High School Musical during a crisis!" I try to yell at him, but it turns into a laugh. His dumb words relax me a bit; I find myself leaning back into my seat and enjoying the music coming from the radio. We pull up to the house quicker than I expected, and I spot two cars in the driveway. I recognize the red mini van, but I don't know who owns the other car. Maybe it's Lottie's. She would be driving by now anyways.

"We can wait a moment before we go in," Harry comforts me, but I shake my head.

"I'm going in there. Are you ready?" I ask him.

"I'm as ready as you are, Lou."

I let out a shaky breath and open my door. We brought overnight bags just in case this goes well, but we probably shouldn't show up and bring those in right away. Exiting the comfort of the car leaves me to stare up at the house I grew up in. It was always a large house for a well off family, but my large family always filled it up easily. As we walk up the walkway to the house, I look to my right to see the tree I fell out of when I was ten. I ended up breaking my arm, but Mom gave me lots of ice cream as a result. I remember that. Looking at the house, I remember a lot of things.

Harry and I finally make it to the front porch and are standing in front of the door. My hand reaches up to ring the doorbell, when Harry grabs my hand and stops me. I look over at him and give him a weird look. He doesn't reply; my boyfriend just pulls me in for one last passionate kiss before I revisit my past.

"I love you, Lou, and I will always be next to you," Harry reassures me one last time. I nod my head and gain the courage to ring the doorbell.

It takes a moment before anyone answers. I hear some yelling, and it sounds just like when someone used to be at the door when I was growing up. Mom would be too busy to answer, and the little ones were too scared of strangers. It usually left Lottie or I to answer, so I can't say I'm necessarily surprised when my oldest sister opens up the door.

Lottie is still shorter than me, but she has grown into a beautiful woman. Her hair is now dyed a silver color that reminds me of the moon. I remember that she liked makeup growing up, and it's easy to see that she's gotten good at it. Her blue eyes look wider and beautiful with mascara and eyeliner. She's so beautiful.

"Lottie?" I ask quietly after a moment of silence as she stares at me in slight confusion. Did she forget me?

"It can't be you..." Lottie mumbles in disbelief.

"It's me. It's your brother. It's me, Lou-"

She throws her arms around me, and I know that some mascara is going to get on my shirt as it runs down her face with tears. My arms wrap around her waist; I hold my little sister close and press a kiss to the side of her head as my own tears begin to fall.

"I missed you so much," Lottie explains through tears as she pulls away. She wipes at her eyes to try to correct any damage done by the tears.

"I'm so sorry about leaving. I'm so sorry, Lottie, but I had to go. I had to," I explain myself, but she just shakes her head.

"It's okay, Louis. I understand. You had it harder than the rest of us growing up," Lottie reassures me. "I explained it to Phoebe, Daisy, and Fizzy once they were old enough. Ernest and Doris are still too young."

"Where are the rest of them?" I ask nervously. I stand on my tippee toes and try to look past Lottie into the house; I spot some stray toys on the floor, but I can't see anyone else. I do hear giggling deep inside the house.

"Inside," Lottie replies before glancing at the boy next to me. "Now who's this? You haven't properly introduced us, Lou."

"I'm Harry." Harry shakes her hand. "I'm Louis's..."

His voice dies out. He glances over at me as if he is looking to see if it's okay to say it.

"He's my boyfriend."

"Very nice to meet you, Harry. If you hurt my brother, I'm chopping your balls off. Now how about we meet others?" Lottie says with a spark of laughter in her eyes. Harry smiles, and no fear is within me or anyone else anymore.

"I would love to see my little sisters again," I tell Lottie with a wide, honest smile.

A/N

I just posted the first part to a short poem that is a reply to Thirteen Reasons Why. Check it out. If you want to. Or whatever.

xoxo raindropkiss1