Pride {l.s.}

41- Breathe

The Story So Far:

Zayn and Liam are dating and have moved in together. Niall is opening up a restaurant. An anonymous guy is paying a lot of paintings from Louis. Louis is still recovering from the fire that Eleanor caused. Harry and Louis are officially dating, but they haven't told anyone else.

Spanish Version Available: Pride | l.s. [Traducción al español] by InLarryLove

"You don't have to tell them everything, babe." Harry rests his hand on my thigh as we drive along. My heart skips a beat at the term of endearment. "We just started dating last night."

"I feel like we've been dating for a much longer time," I reply with a smile. "Zayn deserves to know, and if Zayn is going to know, Liam is going to know. I'll tell Niall later in the week. We're heading to his restaurant to see how the decorating is coming along, right?"

"I can take you there for lunch since you still have some paintings to finish for that secretive guy. The kitchen is already up and running, so lunch can be there. Niall says he just needs finishing touches." Harry looks at me with worried eyes. "You only need to come out if you want to. I don't want to force this on you. Zayn will like it if you open up to him."

I nod my head. "I can do it. Not just because of you, but he deserves to know."

Harry gives me reassuring smile as he pulls up to the curb in front of Zayn and Liam's apartment. I'm sad to say that we haven't visited them much since they moved in together considering they just moved in around the time of the fire. I'm excited to see if Liam has changed the apartment at all.

What I didn't expect was a dog to attack me when I came in the door.

"Well, hello there big guy!" My voice immediately changes into the voice you use when talking to a baby. I fall to the floor, and the Great Dane puppy steps over my legs in order to lick my face. I let out a laugh as the young dog lays down on my lap. I rub his head affectionately before I finally look up to see Zayn, Liam, and Harry smiling down at me.

"Don't hog the dog all to yourself," Harry says before he drops down beside me. "Hello, doggy!"

"Watson," Liam says just as the dog licks Harry's face. "His name is Watson, and he's a Great Dane."

"You're gonna be a big boy! Oh, yes you are! Yes, you are!" Harry repeats in a baby voice as he strokes the ears of Watson. Watson's tail is whacking the nearby wall like crazy as Harry also baby talks to the dog. Watson seems to love the softness in our voices when we speak like that.

I look over at Harry, and I love how he looks at the dog. The only emotion on his face is love. It's the same look he had on his face when he saw Olivia at the wedding. I can imagine seeing that look over and over again. I wonder if we'll ever get a dog together, and I'll be able to see the look then too. I will admit that sometimes I see that same look directed towards me, and that's when I like it the best.

I stand up and let Harry pet the dog. I meet Zayn in a tight embrace. I notice that we hug more ever since the fire, but neither of us is saying anything about it. We see each other every day at work, but sometimes we don't talk about each other and our feelings. Usually, we joke around or talk about work related things. Neither of us admit that the tighter embraces might be the result of my near death experience.

"How are you doing?" Zayn asks with worry in his voice as he pulls away. "Everything is still good?"

I smile. "Perfect. How's living with Liam?"

"He still does everything around the house," Zayn whispers to me so that Liam doesn't  overhear. "He's not getting sick of me either. Can't complain."

I give Zayn a nod and a smile. It's good that we're both doing okay. I turn to Liam and pull him into a quick hug. We've definitely bonded more since Zayn and Liam started dating, and I'm starting to really like the guy. Harry and I manage to make our way over to the sofa, but Watson trots after us. He manages to leap up on the couch and take a seat across Harry's lap and mine. Liam takes a seat on one of the big chairs. Zayn perches on the armrest. I notice Liam's arm wrap around Zayn's slim body.

"I'm going to steal your dog," Harry informs the cute couple as he continues to pet the puppy.

"We just got him last night, and I already love the guy to death," Zayn says. He looks at the dog affectionately. "He's still learning, but he's been great. He likes to sleep with us at night too apparently. He'll lay in between us and snore for part of the night."

Our conversation flows easily from sports to dogs again. I feel a knot in my stomach forming since I know I'll have to tell them everything soon. They need to know, and I don't want to hide its Harry anymore. A part of me still wants to hide it. It's a part of me that I wish didn't exist anymore.

"I still can't believe that our Nialler is opening up his own restaurant," Liam comments. "He for sure can't cook, but he's getting better. He now knows that water can't burn."

"I should probably invite him over for a day and teach him some simple dishes," Harry says. His hand still rests on the dog's head, but now Watson is sleeping. "He's been so busy lately with opening it though. He couldn't even make it tonight."

"It's okay if it's just the four of us," I add on. "Niall certainly does add a different dynamic."

Harry and Liam begin to share stories of Niall from college where he accidentally lit his dorm room on fire and brought a cat to class one day after he found the stray. Each story is crazy and bizarre. These boys seemed to definitely have fun in college, and in return, Zayn and I share our stories.

"Louis one time got so drunk at this pub that he did the "Single Ladies" dance on top of the bar!" Zayn exclaims. He grasps his stomach as he dies laughing. Harry looks over at me and completely loses it. We're all a mess of laughter as I remember that.

"Why didn't you stop me!?" I ask. The pain in my stomach and sharp, and I can find my breath feeling labored quickly. I force myself to calm down just to make sure that I keep breathing. My lungs burn as I find myself wheezing. Harry looks over at me, and I can see the realization in his face when he sees me struggling to breath.

"Guys, calm down," Harry says in a warning voice as he pulls himself closer to me. "Louis can't breathe. It's a side effect from the smoke in his lungs."

Harry simply puts his hands on my shoulders and looks at me straight in the eyes. This has happened a couple times since the fire, and Harry has learned that is he leans his forehead against mine it helps. With his forehead rested on mine, we both close our eyes. He grabs my hand and sets it on his chest. I focus on the rise and fall of his chest, and I try to match it. After a couple breaths, I find my pain slowly fading.

I peel my eyes open and give Harry a soft smile. "Thanks. Sorry about that."

Harry and I pull away, and I look at Liam and Zayn. They're both looking at us with questioning faces as they notice our closeness.

"Anything you want to tell us, Lou?" Zayn asks. His quiet voice sounds loud in this apartment. The only other noise is Watson's breaths as he continues to sleep.

I feel my breath hitch. This is it. This is the moment I'm going to come out to my best friend and his boyfriend, but I can't. I can't do it.

"Nope. Nothing to tell you," I reply with a tight smile.

A/N

I am proud of any of you guys if you have ever come out or not come out. This whole book is dedicated to the acceptance that everyone deserves.

xoxo raindropkiss1