53- Refuge

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The Story So Far:
Liam and Zayn are back in town. Harry has Hashimoto's (body attacking thyroid). Niall was the anonymous guy who bought Louis's paintings. Louis finally came out as dating Harry.

Spanish Version Available: Pride | l.s. [Traducción al español] by InLarryLove

There were a lot of hugs given once I came out and admitted that Harry and I are dating. Liam gave me a speech that if I break Harry's heart, he will rip me in half himself. Zayn gives the talk to Harry in return. Niall asks for forgiveness for outing us, but I admit to him that it had to happen. He was just the catalyst in the reaction.

Once we all finally settle back down, I find myself seated in between Harry's legs. I lean back against his chest. Our empty bowls sit on the coffee table so that Harry's arms are free to wrap around my figure. We're content as we are finally able to do this in front of our friends. Harry presses a kiss to my hair as we all listen to Cheyenne and Niall telling a story together of a weird costumer that wanted a Big Mac and could not be satisfied with a normal hamburger.

"I went down the street myself and bought him a Big Mac!" Niall exclaims with a laugh. Cheyenne's face is red from laughing so hard. She leans against Niall's chest and looks up at him. She sighs before she looks way and pulls the blanket closer to her chin. Zayn passed her a blanket from the back of the couch when he saw her shivering slightly earlier in the evening.

"Did you figure out who was buying all of those paintings, Louis?" Liam asks out of the blue once he finishes his soup. Niall's face turns red as he turns to Cheyenne and tries to hide his face under the blanket. She lets it a laugh and gently pats Niall's blond hair.

"Um yeah, Niall bought them actually," I admit with a laugh. "Niall commissioned them and overpaid for them. It was all him."

"Niall!" Zayn exclaims with a wide, surprised smile on his face. "That was all you?"

"Louis needed the money, and I needed paintings. It was a win-win," Niall replies with a shrug, but his face is still a bright red.

"I wouldn't have been able to pay the medical bills if it weren't for him," I say. Harry wraps his arms around me tighter for a moment and gives me a squeeze. He knows that money is usually tight for me, and we're both thankful for Niall's generosity.

"You're too nice, Nialler," Cheyenne admits as she looks up at him. "What did we do to deserve you?"

Our smiles have a slight buzz to them as we live in the bliss of friendship for the night. The alcohol in our system helps our happiness be carried along. We admit to missing each other over this short holiday even though it was days long. Couples cuddle together as close as they can, including Niall and Cheyenne who just simply cannot admit their feelings for each other.

"I'm going to take Niall home before he starts stripping for us again. He's too drunk," Cheyenne informs the group once it's about one in the morning.

"You loved it, darling," Niall replies. He places a chaste kiss on Cheyenne's cheek that causes her to blush.

"I don't want to see your pale ass," Harry explains with a laugh. "Get him home."

With a quick goodbye, they're gone. The loud laughter that Niall brings to the group dies down to quieter conversations between the four of us left. We're definitely not a drunk as Niall is, but there was a definite buzz between us.

"We should get going home too, Z," Liam comments after he checks his watch. "We don't have work tomorrow, but we'll both be exhausted."

"You both have been drinking a lot," Harry brings up. "Why don't you two stay in the guest room? It would make me feel a lot better."

We decide to play it safe, and Zayn and Liam agree to stay the night. Harry and Liam stand up to get the guest room set up and to make sure there are pajamas for them that fit. Zayn and I stay behind since we both know that we have to talk. I get up from the floor and sit on the couch next to Zayn. I pull my feet up and turn to face him. After a moment of silence, he finally asks questions that he's been wondering for awhile now.

"Since when?"

"Halloween really. Eleanor caught my bed on fire the next day because she saw us together."

"Was Eleanor your beard?"

"No, and she wasn't my high school sweetheart. She was a part of the therapy that I went through back at home," I admit nervously. I look away from Zayn as I admit the big stuff.

"Therapy? What type of therapy?" Zayn asks, but I can hear the nervousness in his voice. He knows where this is going.

"The therapy to make me not gay," I reply bluntly with anger in my voice. "They made me date her to try to convince me that I liked her. She came back into my life and convinced me to try again. We were trying to fix me again."

I look at Zayn to see his first clenched in anger. "What else did they do to you?"

"Zayn, we don't have to talk about this-"

"What else?" He asks forcefully. I put my pride to the side and admit.

"They... they made me like please myself while looking at revealing pictures of girls. They then did the reverse. They gave me a drug that made me puke. I would be puking into a bucket while they showed me revealing pictures of boys," I admit quietly. "There was no electroshock though. It wasn't too bad..."

"Lou, that's horrible. That is absolutely horrible and repulsive. I'm going to kill them! How dare they try to convince you that you were broken! Is this why your mom called you broken on that voicemail? Oh my gosh, that's why you didn't want to go home anymore. I was your refuge. You didn't want to go back home..." Zayn puts his head in his hands. The anger turns to sadness. "I should have known. I should have known by how long it took you to admit your feelings for Harry and how you reacted to your childhood. I should've have helped you. You had no one to help you..."

"Harry helped me, Zayn. I'm fine now. I can kiss my boyfriend in public. I can cuddle with him in front of my friends. I don't feel disgusted with myself anymore. I just thought that you should know the whole story."

Zayn pulls his hands away. Tears are in his eyes. "I wish I knew."

"I should have told you sooner."

"And you're okay now?"

"I'm okay. I'm better than okay now."

"Good good. We should both get to bed. Liam drank quite a bit, and he gets moody when he has a hangover," Zayn admits with a smile. "Plus, Harry seems to be in a cuddling mood."

I roll my eyes. "Harry is always cuddly. We should get to bed. I'm just happy that everything is out on the table between us."

"I missed you, Lou. I wish that I knew. I wish I could have helped or stopped it all," Zayn replies. He shakes his head in disappointment for himself.

"Z, none of this is on you."

"Have you thought of trying therapy? I know that Harry is going, but maybe the good kind of therapy would be good for you," Zayn suggests. "You're doing really well, Lou, but maybe you need a push to help you along."

It's a good idea. It's hard to overcome things by yourself. There are probably others like me who experienced this; there has to be someone out there who could help me adjust.

"I'll think about it. Thank you for understanding, Zayn."

"I always understand you, Lou. I'm always there for you. Don't ever forget that. Don't forget where you belong, which isn't in that sad excuse for a home. Your home is here with me and Harry, even with Liam and Niall. We're home."

A/N
We're at #764 (or something) in fan fiction and wow. This book started as a weird dream I had of a couple at a pride parade. Never thought this would happen.

xoxo raindropkiss1

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