But Loved

Bonus Chapter 2

> I'll most likely do a couple of these here and there. Thanks for reading! At least now you actually know her birthday <

September 16, 2016

Yesterday was my birthday. I had a lovely day with Ashton and the boys. Now Ashton and I are just watching TV. Well he was. I was doing some things for work on my laptop. I felt like it was just another day until the phone rang.

I picked it up since I was indeed the closest and Ashton never got it anyways. I said a cheery hello and continued to type up a paper for my new job.

"Is this Amethyst Green?" The lady asks.

"That's my name," I say still focusing on my paper.

"I'm sorry but your father is dead," she says and I stop typing.

"Say that again?" I plead closing my laptop.

Ashton looked over at me worried. I'm a pretty good multitasker. He knows that if I stop what I'm doing its either good news or bad. By the look on my face he can probably tell it's bad.

"Daniel Green is your father, correct?" She asks over the phone and I gulp.

"Um yes. What um happened to him?" I ask quietly and Ashton moves closer to me with worry spread across his face.

"He committed suicide," she says plainly. "There's a note addressed to you here at the station if you'd like to see it."

"Okay," I say quietly, "when can I come and get everything settled?"

"Now is fine but you can come whenever," she admits.

"Alright I'll be there in a bit," I tell her and she hangs up with me on that note.

"What's wrong?" Ashton asks.

I gulp. I don't understand why I don't feel worse. I hated him but I never wanted him dead. Ashton places his leg on my knee and squeezes it gently. I look up at him and let out a very big sigh.

"Daniel is dead," I tell him and his eyes widen.

"Your father, Daniel?" He asks and I nod. "How is he dead?"

"He committed...." I can never say that word allowed anymore but Ashton understands.

"Oh. I'm so sorry, Am," he says not sure what to say.

"He wrote a note for me. I need to go down to the station and get it. Can you drive me?" I ask, "I don't feel well enough."

"Yes of course."

--

To my daughter, Amethyst Green,
I understand what I did to you now. I never wanted to be such a bad father. After Amy died I didn't know how to cope. I should have never took it out on you. I get that now. All these people here take your side and I can't believe it took me this long to realize what I did was wrong. They beat me up just like I did to you every month. I'm sorry, Amethyst. So on the day where I almost let you die I will. I'm sorry Amabanana. I love you. Tell Calum he was right. You and Ashton seem great together. I don't expect you to forgive me ever so don't take this as a reason too. I love you.
Your father, Daniel Green.

"He killed himself because of the guilt," I told Ashton.

"So he finally realized he was a monster?" He asks very quietly.

I probably wasn't supposed to her it. I didn't answer. He was a monster but jail was his justice. Death wasn't supposed to be his justice. I'd rather him be rotting in a cell then in a coffin. I'd rather him suffer longer than a few months. He made me suffer I just wanted him to feel the same. I didn't want him dead.