Name: "In English, it's James. In Chinese, it's YuJiaMing, or 余嘉明. I mean, I don't expect you to be able to read the characters so PingYing should be good, right? If not, screw you, get it right when it's carved into stone."
Age: "17 and counting. Counting until the day I die. It's a stress reliever to keep track of the exact time. If you want it to be more precise, 17 years, 357 days, 14 hours, 39 minutes, and 26 seconds. 27 now, 28, 29. Oh well. Guess what would be a great surprise for my parents on my 17th birthday? A dead body. And even with the indefinite article 'a', I know which body it'd be. Mine!"
Gender: "I think I'm a male. Least, that's what I've been told. Am I really, though? Maybe society lied to me and genders don't actually exist. Maybe our universe is a giant prank for me. It'd be a waste, a comedy show with no audience. That sounds poetic. 'Cheers and jeers, echo through the empty theatre. No one claps. No one is there.' Ha, I like it. I should write my own epitaph, it'd be a whole lot wittier than if some random guy tried to write a heartfelt quote about me."
Physical Appearance: "Attractive, of course. I mean, I'm me. What else could I be? Ugh, I'm Chinese, which you could probably guess by my Chinese name. You could then deduce that I have black hair and dark brown eyes, if you think about the norm. I'm pretty tall, I guess, standing at 6'2. Of course, I'm not muscular enough to make it balance out, so I just look like a freakishly tall noodle. I wear reading glasses, completing the stereotypical look of an Asian nerd. Of course, reading glasses are for reading, so I don't wear them normally. Ooh, I forgot, people said that I have 'cold eyes'. Like, what does that even mean? I understand what they're trying to say, but look at me when I'm actually smiling. Do those eyes look cold to you? Granted, I'm not smiling much, but everyone has bad days. Or bad weeks. Or bad years."
Personality: "Su-i-ci-dal. Oops, am I supposed to put it more delicately? Well, being nihilistic then turns into believing that my life has no meaning, which in turn causes me to be dispirited and miserable. This leads to self deprecation, and then leaves me as a suicidal individual. Not sure if that's putting it more delicately, but it tends to help people when things are explained thoroughly. So suicidal, nihilistic, miserable, and self deprecating. Say what you will, but I think that self deprecation is funny, if used wittily. Oh, there's another one. Witty. Kinda. Only in the self deprecating way."
Background: "Oh, interested in what brought me to the person I am today? You and everyone else. Of course, everyone's disappointed. No, I was not abused by my family, I did not see someone murdered right in front of me. I did go through any traumatic events. I actually have a very normal background. I have a mom, a dad, and a younger sister named Jasmine, or JiaMei. My parents are nice, if a little strict. But I mean, it's because they love me that they're strict. They only want the best for me. My sister's annoying, but I love her. She's very kind and supportive, no matter what I do. She's also irritatingly smart, like what the heck. People should not be allowed to be that smart. She helps me with my homework, and she's 13. I'm in my senior year and taking mostly advanced courses. She's like, actually a genius. Or in her words, 'I just study a lot. It's fun'. I'll never understand her, but I'm happy that she's my sister. Let's see, what else is important? I went to school like normal kids, teachers praised me for being smart, until they met my sister. Oh no, this is starting to sound like I'm upset for being overshadowed by my sister. Nope, Jasmine's great. I don't like being the center of attention. I like being important, but not the most important. That's stressful. I was once cast for the only lead role in our school's play and I completely forgot my lines. My friends on stage did some improvising, and the play was alright. I always ask to be cast in one of the supporting roles, now. It's not that I'm bad at acting, in fact, I'm pretty good at it. I just don't want to be the focus. I suppose, after my birthday, I will be the main focus of everyone. Luckily, I won't be around to get nervous. Anyways, my suicidal tendencies really aren't triggered by anything. I'm not bullied at school, I have great friends, great family, good grades. Despite not being that muscular, I'm not unathletic. I'm on the school's track and field team, and I run hurdles and do pole vaulting. I also run normally, long distance or short distance. It doesn't matter to me, I'm not bad at any of it. Another club I do is the archery club. I'm not the best at it, but I'm also not bad at it. Like everything else. Right, I'm really not that bad at anything. Except maybe music. I played violin for a year, sucked so much my parents asked me to quit. I do still play piano, but I'm pretty bad at that too. Languages, I'm fluent in Chinese and English. I'm learning French at school, but I don't think you can call that fluent. Now, I bet you're wondering, 'if he's had such a good life, why does he want to die? The answer? I don't know myself. I just have an urge to kill myself. That must disappoint everyone who wanted to hear a tragic story. I just want to kill myself, so I will. And no, this is not some fleeting feeling. I've felt like this since I was 15. I just figured that maybe this urge will pass. And it didn't. It's grown so strong that I have the courage to actually do it now."
Strengths: "As I've said when telling you my background, I'm good at a lot of things. Acting, running. I'm smart. Yeah. Oh right, I think my coolest achievements are being able to do tricks on a butterfly knife and this one performance martial art that my mom had me learn, called 舞剑. It's translated to sword dance. Of course, I can't actually use a sword, all that it taught me was how to swing a sword in a pretty manner."
Weaknesses: "Like I said, I'm not that muscular. I'm athletic enough, but not enough to actually fight someone if I didn't have a weapon. I've tried before, I asked one of my friends who literally owns a dojo-Who even has those in America?- and I lost in under 30 seconds. Of course, I challenged him to an archery match right after and won, but yeah. I'm not capable to defend myself in hand to hand combat."
Other: "Hm, so like interesting facts? Jasmine and I were supposed to have the same first character in our respective Chinese names, but mine (嘉）was so complicated that I couldn't write it. When Jasmine was born, they gave her a much easier character（佳）. However, our characters still sound the same and have pretty much the same meaning, both of which are 'good, excellent'. Jasmine's goes on and defines itself as 'refined'. So my full name would be 'Good Intelligence' while hers is 'Refined Beauty'. I'd say they got our names mixed up, but Jasmine's pretty enough to be 'Refined Beauty', I guess."
