I walked into the room where I was supposed to have Maths and the room was empty as shit. I have read the time table wrong again. I was feeling so powerless lately because I didn't get much sleep, sometimes no sleep at all. The reason was my attempting to be clean from the trash that I take. I knew that Alex will get really curious and he will try to find out about everything without me. I was ashamed of myself, I really was. Drugs are not cool or funny. I remember just being almost overdise every night laying on the streets everything. The feeling I had like I would never get up or open my eyes again. The trowing up because of this junk and then just falling asleep in it. That was the year I found my sugar daddy and the not that funny thing is that he gave me drugs too. But for the fuck sake his shit was good, it was of the expensive ones. I remember living with him, everything was so posh and he was buying me such an expensive clothes and diamonds. I returned everything to him when I left him tho. I don't care about material stuff. I pushed the door to open it and saw Alex standing next the window in the hallway. First I though I'm just too sleepy but then he said "hi" and I got close to him. "Why aren't you in class?" - I asked looking at the window behind him. "I'm just relaxing I guess" "Did something happened?" "No, what can happen at 8 am?" - he laughed a little and I smiled awkwardly at him. "We can go home if you want to" - he said and I felt so excited about that I don't even know from where I got this energy. "That would be very nice." - I hugged him and I smiled against his chest. There were no teachers on our way out so that was great.
When yhe car stopped in front of our house I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't wait to go to sleep. We walked in and Akihiko started meowing probably because we forgot to feed him in the morning. Alex went to feed him right away when he saw him. "Will you sleep?" - I asked as he was putting the food into the bow. "I'm gonna play xbox ai don't feel like sleeping right now." "Oh" - I stood up under the doors frame and I was just looking at him. "Are you?" "Yeah" - I was still on the same place. He stared at me for a while, confused what the fuck I'm doing. "Do you need something?" "Nope" "Right" "You can come" "Yeah, I'm gonna play first and then I'll come" "No you won't because I'll lock thw door then, ypu can't just fucking come in the middle of my sleep like I'm train station or something" - he started laughing and I rolled my eyes. I went upstairs in the bed room but of course I didn't lock the door. Soon I heard Alex's game music and that kinda made me sad but he can do whatever he wants to, can't he? I giggled a bit without any reason and finally started sleeping.
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I woke up by the sound of my phone ringtone. I mumbled under my nose and tried to reach for the phone but I felt something dragging me down. His hands were crossing in front if my chest. "Alex..." - I started attempting to get out of hia hug but I didn't have that power and my annoying ringtone was still on. His eyes opened slowly and immediately started rubbing his eyes and I was finally "free". "What?" - I said quietly when I picked up the phone. Alex pushed me and I turned back to him - "It's Emily" - I pretended I didn't see his eye roll. "I see you are not at school and we need to talk so I'm coming over" - she said and I could hear all her friends screaming around her. I couldn't understand how she just can be around so much loudness all of the time and more importantly how all of her friends can be so loud and super active. "Wait, when are you coming?" "In about 20 minutes, is that okay? Of course it is bye" - she hang up the phone and I took a deep breath knowing I should get out of bed now. "Why is she even coming? You see each other at school a lot so that was unnecessarily" - I noded my head. Thats just her what can I do.
I was still tired. Oh God. I should see him soon, thank him that he paid for me. Like he always did. I was really surprised and now I'm scared because he'll probably want to like date me again or something and thats not something I want right now. I wonder if he got someone else in his life. Did someone repleced me, he never told me he'll only love me and I guess I liked that. I liked the way I was just not on the ground, no promises, no one's hurt, nobody screams or cries. We just go on. We just ride till we forged why and then find a new reason. I remember there was another guy with a motorcycle. I flirted with him only to ride it. He had a dragon tatto and I wanted a dragon tatto too. I wasn't a whore or something, no. I never slept with someone, that was not my style. I remember them just asking me to sing them songs. Slow songs. I was high most of the tine so they were even slower. I loved the feeling I'm not there. All stressed out with storm going on in my heart. Not feeling. Just fine.
The door bell rang and I quicly ran downstairs to open the door. Emily immediately started telling me another story that happened I "will not even belive, Oh my God!".
