You never know.... ( AMBW )

Chapter 1

I woke up perspiring, willing my breathing to slow down. Sitting up in bed holding my chest, pleading to not have another panic attack. My heart raced, thinking I haven't had that dream in a long time. It's morning, I need to get ready for work as ease my way to the side of the bed.

I was doing better and didn't have to see my psychiatrist as often I thought to myself. I'm glad I am not living like the way I was before. I thank god for my aunt for giving me the strength to come out of what I was going through. It took a lot for me to get back out into the world.

Those were some dark days, five years ago for what happened to me. The death of my favorite aunt is what snapped me out of it. She helped me out through out my life especially when I needed it back then. She understood me better than my own parents , that's why she stepped in when they didn't want anything to do with me.

She was a out spoken, humorous lady and strong individual that told it like it is. Always had a smile on her face telling me " Everything's gonna be alright ", when I was down. She's the one that encouraged me to go back to school. She told me," I should be doing something with my life not to just watch it go by. " I went to a technical school cause that's all I could handle at the time, It had flexible hours. 

When I heard the news almost two and half years ago, I was on my way to school when my mom called me. She told me that she was in a terrible car accident, she died instantly which brought me to my knees. It was so shocking, the memories of that day has my heart hurting just thinking about it. 

The sound of my phone pulls me back to reality. Picking it up from my nightstand, turning my screen on. Seeing it's an notification from a social media site I use. I recently signed up couple of months ago cause my friends from work said it's a shame to not have one already. 

I opened it up smiling, amazed by the beautiful pictures before me. Thailand is a beautiful country, wishing I could go there but sadly I don't have the funds. That's partly why I accepted this friend request. I was interested in his culture, we both worked in the medical profession. He's a doctor and am a sterilization technician. 

We have interesting conversations, he tells me all about his work as a volunteer doctor. He goes to remote villages to help the sick. He posts the most eye-catching pics some that are heart warming, some that makes you think and some that are plain hysterical ." Oh how I wish I could've been there ", I laugh to myself.

Sitting my phone down, I head to the bathroom to take a shower. After I'm finished dressing I noticed my phone screen flashing. I see a message that says, "Good morning how are you? ", even though it's night over there. But before I could answer back, the little monster came busting through door into my room.

"Mommy, mommy come on we have to hurry!", she says." What's going on ?, Why is that? ", I ask bending down to her level. " You forgot ", she pouts. " Sorry baby tell me ", I ask. " Daycare group is going to the zoo today. They say we have to be there early ", she states batting her eyes. 

" Well okay let's get going, I see grandma's dressed you up pretty today ", I said while l lifting her up planting a kiss on her cheek. " Yeah I love it ", she says as I sat her down. Patting down her purple/white butterfly dress I say " Let's go ". Making our way towards the door, I hear my mom calling out to us, " Have a good day! ". We both answer," Love you bye! ", closing the door and heading towards my car.

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