Part of Me

Chapter 13

Natasha stayed awake until late in her room in the med bay, she insisted Clint and Phil that she was completely fine and she didn't need to be kept in there. But, the two men demanded that she has to stay in the med bay until tomorrow, at least. The walls and lighting of the room was entirely different to those of hers in her room back in the building, the silence is even more different, only sounds of people passing by and the machines by her side.

Though all those things aren't usual for her, it isn't that kept her awake. It was the thought of Steve, hurt and wounded, still unconscious up until now, ' all because of me' she told herself, if he doesn't make it, the thought itself frightens her, you're adding more red to your ledger.

Sure Sharon told her that he was going to be fine, that the serum was going to help him recover, but in reality, he didn't showed any progress of recovering. Machines are what's keeping him alive, providing oxygen and nutrients through tubes.

It's all because of me. She told herself again.

If only I could  have noticed him coming, pointing a gun at you. If only I had my gun with me that time. If only I had the power to take him down on my own. If only I fought back instead of collapsing. If only I had not let Steve take those bullets for me. If only.

What if Steve's gone? What if he can't make it? The to-be Avengers team would be a mess. During their training he would always take the role of a leader, and this kind of leadership can't just be thought through those training. He's a born leader. True the rest of the team usually teased him and make jokes about him, but they respected him nonetheless. Now, what if this leader figure is absent within them? What if this leader figure wouldn't be within them again because of her?

As if those thoughts aren't bad enough for her, fate decided it was the right time to bring back James into her life. Shit.

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She awoke a little bit late in the morning, the serious headache she had yesterday had faded away. She looked to her left, expecting Clint would be there. Surprisingly, he wasn't. So she decided to go check on Steve.

She opened the door really quietly, not wanting loud noises to disrupt Steve. She walked in and sat on a chair beside the bed, watching Steve sleep with a sigh. Just as another train of guilt thoughts was about to passed her mind, a voice startled her.

"I'm awake you know, and I can see that you're a mess even with my eyes closed," he said with a quiet husky voice.

"Says the man who's laying on the bed with machines and bandages attached to him," she said, "good to have you back Steve," she continued as she gave a light squeeze on his arm, unable to hide her relieve of seeing him awake. He finally opens his eyes, and tried to sat up.

"Sheez Nat, did you get some sleep? You look like hell," earning a light slap on his arm from her and a wince of pain from him, "I'm serious Nat, what's wrong?"

"You should be worried about yourself and not me, Steve. I'm fine, and yes I did get enough sleep, I just had a lot of thoughts going on."

"It's about me isn't it? You think this is all your fault."

She looked down then looked away then back down again, "you know it is my fault, Steve. If I had been able to protect myself you wouldn't be here, Steve. Everyone who is close to me always ends up getting in trouble. I'm so sorry Steve, you deserved better than this. It should've been me, Steve. It should've been me." Her voice was cracking, he could hear that. Guilt was evident in her voice. Steve put a hand on top of hers, causing her to look at him. Eyes watery.

"It's not Nat, it's not," but it didn't seemed to comfort Natasha even further. She looked away once more to contain the tears threatening to stream down her face at any moment.

"Natasha, look at me," he grabbed her chin and brought it to face him, so she was looking straightly into his eyes.

"None of this is your fault, as the leader of the assignment I should have known it's a trap. It's also my duty to watch my teammates backs," she looked down again, now tears actually streamed down her face,"especially you, I need to keep you away from harm's way, there's no way in this world someone or something would stop me from keeping you safe nothing, Nat. Even if it means risking my life." He wiped her tears away with his thumbs. "So don't ever blame yourself ever again, okay?"

"Why, Steve? I dont think I'm worth saving."

"Because, I- I lo-" he was interrupted when the door opened and Sharon walked in the room. Steve clearly was frustrated when he didn't get to say what he was about to say. Next time probably.

"Steve! Thank goodness you're awake!" She rushed to his side and took his hand, and rubbed it a little, he gave her a smile. While Natasha wiped away all her tears, not wanting the blonde to know she actually cried. Besides, she had a reputation to maintain.

"Nat, can I have a word with you outside?" She asked Natasha.

"Sure." They both walked out the door, Natasha looked over her shoulders and gave Steve one last look before leaving the room.

"What is it?" She asked Sharon once they were outside.

"We have a problem."

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Hey guys! Update update! I'm sorry if this is kinda short. I've been trying to work on my new romanogers fanfic 😋
Anyways I hoped u guys loved this chapter
Vote and comment!
Tysm!

xx