Part of Me

Chapter 28

The world changed into darkness and cold for Steve Rogers. Like the ice all over again. His fingers were numb as they shook in his despair, running it all over her strands of red hair. His eyes didn't feel a thing as he dropped oceans of tears from deep down beneath. His mind could not register, more like could not accept what was happening, his fading away positive part of his mind tried to chant on 'this isn't real' but reality screamed otherwise. Her face was ice cold and pale, like she'd been left out in the winter snow without protection. Her hair was red but lacks its attractive fiery lustre  it once posses. Her emerald green orbs which he found himself drowning in and unable to rise up to the surface again, her emerald green orbs which no other oceans or wonders of the world can compare to its beauty, hidden beneath the locked eyelid, under her long lashes which she used to peer up to him through.

He expressed his love, wrote his promises in the stars of the night. But, he never did fulfill a single one. She knew he loves her, but did she loved him back, too? He wonders at the loneliest of nights, at the saddest of moments.

You're delusional, he told himself. She's gone because of you, how would she love such a man?

They say love brings happiness, but in the recent days all he could do was apologize as he watched her wounds of his piercing words that were knives deep cut her open, breaking her apart. As he watched her try to move on to something new once she thought she's lost his trust and his love. He failed to make her smile, to make her happy. He failed to protect her.

He could've pointed fingers to anyone for this. Ivan, Barnes or even Banner who wasn't able to keep her alive. He knows this is not their fault. This all would not happen if he had listened to her, if he at least tried to understand her. In the end, he could only blame himself.

Regret comes last.

He remembered the first days of his training, he's frowning at the tablet on his hands, having so little knowledge of modern technologies. Natasha made her way to him, took it from his hands and taught him every single thing he needs to know even though he hadn't ask for her help. He remembered the days he cooked breakfast for her and she would secretly steal berries from his plate. He remembered the days they sat down and binge-watched series from Netflix as the others are fast asleep, dreaming about cupcakes and rainbows. He remembered the days when everything was as if it were taken from a page of a fairytale book, all smiles and laughters.

Tears trickled down his cheeks as he longed for those moments to come back, replaying all he could remember as he held her cold cold hands and kissed her pale cheeks. Pushing back strands of her hair as he let everything out with every single tear he dropped.

"I love you, Natasha.." he said with his voice shaking as he held her hand.

"Steve, we're going to need to take her away," Bruce said as low as a whisper as he entered the room red-eyed.

"No, please don't" he pleaded and held on to her hand tighter.

"Steve... We've got to let her go. You've got to let her go," the doctor tried to comfort the soldier.

"I can't and I don't want to," he said, determined. He knew she was probably not going to forgive him for what he's done, but he's not gonna leave her side. Whether she loves him or she hates him, he'll still want to be with her as he loves her endlessly.

"Steve, please. Don't make it harder for all of us," Bruce said as this time his face was tainted with tears too. Steve ignored him as he continued his endless misery and took something from his pockets. Nothing prestigious, nothing fancy but it was something really personal to him, his dog tags. He took the silvery chains and gave it a look, he gave the dog tags a kiss and put it on her neck, as a necklace and let the silver plates rest on the left side of her chest. He wants to be close to her, so that's where he'll be next to her heartbeat, the place where he should be.

His tears didn't stopped a single drop, it continued to flow endlessly as he watched her cover her body with a white sheet and took her out.

"I'm sorry, Natasha," he apologized.

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Helloooo, this update is real short because it's really is challenging to write. This is so bad I'm sorry 💩💩😢😟 I'm sorry I kept you guys waiting. There are still more parts to come, stay tune! Never forget to comment and vote, they're the only motivation that kept me writing. Thank you so much guys! 💕