Part of Me

Chapter 22

"I don't think it's that simple," she told him. It really wasn't, she have been trying to gain people's trust considering her background, she thought she gained Steve's already but he hurt her in a way no one else ever did, an apology may stitch a deep wound, but even the smallest wounds need time to heal and during the healing sometimes the pain is still there.

"I'm not coming back," she paused and examined the look on his face, furrowed brows, lustreless blue eyes, his lips tight, "what's a team when you don't trust each other? What's a relationship when trust is shattered and love is gone?" As much as she'd hate to admit, her heart aches as she let the words flow out her mouth, "it'll be no use if even I return, considering that you, our very own Captain, wouldn't want me as his working partner? Isn't that just the same as you wouldn't want me in your very own team? Trying to push me away from you, to do what? Hm? I hate to say this, but as much as people know you as a gentleman or God's righteous man, you're nothing but a jerk, Steve Rogers."

Words hit him hard in his heart. It's like his heart have been taken out, hammered into pieces and then handed back to him. He was speechless.

"Natasha- I..." He tried to say something but neither his mind nor his heart was working properly.

"I'm sorry but 5 minutes is up and I wouldn't waste time to listen to more of your bullcrap," she said and left him alone in the room. Shattered. Broken.

You're nothing but a jerk.

---

The walk back seemed like eternity, thoughts swirled around in his mind, wondering what should he do next. He messed up, he got to admit. He deeply cared for her, loved her and because of him, she had chosen to step away from him, taking a piece of his heart with her, leaving a hollow space no one or anything can ever fill up. He knew he would make mistakes in the end after all, but he didn't expect they'll end up like this. She wasn't mathematically far away from him, just a couple of hallways away, but he knew he couldn't get to her. So close yet so far. That hurts far more than being continents away from each other.

Wanda noticed him return and looked at his expressions, she directly knew what was happening, "she's not coming back, is she?" she asked him, the hint of disappointment evident in her voice. He was silent for a while and slowly shook his head and sighed.

"I messed up."

"It's not your fault, Steve," she tried to assure him, but it had no effect on him. He mindlessly walked back to his room, he felt like his energy was drained and didn't felt like dealing with anybody's crap right now. He didn't want to eat, he didn't want to sleep, he didn't want to do pretty much anything at the moment.

---

By dinner time, Jarvis informed him that his teammates requested his presence downstairs. Everybody was silent as they waited for me, arms crossed around their chests, furious glares everywhere he looked in the room, except for Bucky, who looked like he had another agenda in mind. He took a seat and sighed.

"What's gonna happen to us, Cap? Push us away one by one until we all eventually leave this team?" Clint spoke up.

"Barton it's not-"

"What? It's not like that? Yeah, it isn't. You just made one of our friends leave and what? You expect us not to do a thing about it?"Tony added.

"I know it's my fault, I'm sorry. I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, I hoped you guys would understand that, but I know this is a really huge mistake. I tried to apologize to her but it wasn't enough. I'm trying to show her how sorry I am and you guys should know that. Like you, I want her back with me- I mean- us."

"Quit shitting us, Rogers. That's it I'm calling it quits," Tony declared, "have this building all you want, but I'm out," he said as he walked out to Fury's office. Shortly after, the others followed him out.

Except for Barnes.

---

Natasha was sitting in the briefing room reading files that would be crucial for her mission tomorrow when Jarvis spoke to her, "Agent Romanoff, Mr. Barnes told me that he have something to say to you in private."

"Where?"

"In the facility."

"Is Rogers there?"

"He's not here, Agent."

As long as that jerk wasn't there she was fine to get back there, it was only him who was being a jerk, not her other friends. She wondered what James would want to say to her, she just had a talk with him yesterday, what other things that possibly he would want to address?

To her surprise, the facility was eerily quiet. It couldn't be this quiet, like ever. Usually there would be some noise of Thor banging things around or Tony's loud music or Jarvis' warm greeting everytime someone enters the place. This, was impossibly quiet and she knew then that there was something wrong. Her instincts was shouting that something was so wrong

She charged the Widow's Bites on her wrists under the sleeves of her jacket and walked silently, "James? Jarvis?" she called out. No reply from both, she continued her silent walking as she surveyed the rooms, nothing was wrong, everything was in place. "James?" she called again.

She felt like someone was near her as she peaked at a turn in the hallway only to find no one in that hallway. She backed up and put her body back in a defense stance once more. Out of nowhere, the metal arm grabbed her and strangled her neck, choking her that she had trouble breathing. She tried to shock him but her Bites was stuck on his metal grip.

"James- what are you doing?" she said through gritted teeth and ragged breath, but he was silent, "it's me," she said once again but he was still silent. Then realization hit her.

He wasn't James. He was the Winter Soldier.

---

Hello, another update! I hope you guys liked it, I'm sorry if this not as good because I'm feeling a bit sick. Anyways, I wouldn't be updating this week because I have my mid exam.

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