Annoyed mews echo from inside the time machine, the small machine letting out nervous beeping noises before making a sudden, screeching halt directly below an ominous gray stormcloud, small flickers and flashes of lightning crackling up in the heavens. A lone kite floats on the wind, the storm-blown breeze whipping it back and forth.
Yellowfang: *emerges from the time machine and looks around* At least the stupid machine didn't make me fall hundreds of tail-lengths into water this time. *growls softly* But now we're in the middle of a storm. Wikipedia, where are we?
Time Machine: *beeps apologetically*
Yellowfang: YOU LOST HER?
Time Machine: eep eep eep BEEP eep EEP beep!
Yellowfang: That's really helpful, thanks.
Time Machine: eep?
Yellowfang: OF COURSE IT'S NOT HELPFUL, YOU BUMBLING BUFFOON!
Wikipedia: *quietly watching the lightning and the figure standing in the rain about half a mile away, holding a metal object tied to a long, swaying string*
Yellowfang: *shrieks* WIKIPEDIA, WHERE ARE YOU?
Wikipedia: *looks over* What?
Yellowfang: *internally screams in relief; externally stalks over and hisses* Where are we, you idiot?
Wikipedia: We're by Christ Church, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. It's late 1752, in early August, and the renowned scientist Benjamin Franklin is attempting to conduct lightning through a kite into a metal key, to use the first electricity to fill a Leyden jar. Watch!
Yellowfang: *impatiently watches as the old man begins ascending the church's flimsy-looking spiral stairs on the outside of the building, towards the spire*
Franklin quickly reaches the top, but Yellowfang doesn't wait to look--she's already sprinting toward the church, intent on finding out what was happening.
Wikipedia: WAIIIIITTT! *screeches and flies after Yellowfang, eyes slitted against the driving rain*
Thunder roars and cracks above them, and Benjamin doesn't notice the two cats coming toward him. He raises the kite, and the key, still attached to the string, falls and rolls toward Yellowfang. Suddenly the whole sky is lit up with white flashes, and Yellowfang's paw presses down on the key.
Yellowfang: OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW WOWWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWOOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWWOOWOWOW
Yellowfang's fur is so fluffed up, it's like a elephant threw up a hairball and the hairball rolled under six thousand couches to collect a bajillion dust bunnies and then maybe some old candy wrappers. Wikipedia stares in horror, along with Franklin, as Yellowfang writhes in pain. As soon as the lightning is there, it's gone, and the storm blows past, leaving a faint drizzle and thin, pale gray clouds.
Wikipedia: *cautiously approaches Yellowfang* Yellowfang, are you okay?
Yellowfang: No, you idiot. I just stabbed myself with a key!
Wikipedia: *sighs* Actually, you got struck by--
Yellowfang: But my paw's not even bleeding! Huh, a bit of rust must have gotten in there or something.
Wikipedia: No, you got struck--
Benjamin Franklin: Who are you cats? Why is one of you blue?
Yellowfang: Let's get out of here!
Wikipedia: Okay, but Yellowfang, you got--
Yellowfang is already racing down the stairs towards the now sopping wet time machine, which seems a bit disgruntled. Wikipedia hisses in exasperation, and flies after her. They quickly board the time machine, and it disappears in a blue flash of light.
Benjamin Franklin: *scratches head* Well, better go tell the missus that the experiment failed . . . again. She won't be happy. Er, I do wonder what those beasties were doing . . .
b r o u g h t to you by Leopard
YOU ARE READING
A Ballad of Yellowfang and History
Hayran KurguWhen Yellowfang discovers a time machine, there's only one thing she can do: Jump into it and hope for the best. Unfortunately for the time periods she visits, the time machine has a certain knack to sending cats into the most important battles and...
