Lesson Learnt

Chapter 3

(Rickzs in media)

I bet you start loving me soon as you see me with someone else, somebody other than you.

I just came out the bathroom in my underwear and bra seeing
Tailor comfortably on my bed doing her makeup. She looks gorgeous man. She's
wearing her black dress which shows her curves and everything and a bright
flowerey kimono over it. She left her afro out but she still looks like a sex
freak.

"Damnn, Lamara you got a good body yanoe, no wonder why Rickz loves that" Tailor said.

I started laughing then told her to shut up.
I started thinking of what to wear, but I was clueless. When I made my decision I picked a pink pencil skirt and a white crop top, I put
on my pink heels that Rickzs got me. Tailor did my makeup for me and we were
done quicker than we expected so we had to wait for Rickzs and April to come
pick us up. Me and Tailor just sat there talking about some childhood memories, I love this girl so much that it hurts me the fact I don't tell her anything about my so called boyfriend.

"Do you trust me?" Tailor asked out of the blue.

I didnt know what to say, that question made me think for a while, I didn't want to say anything wrong. I mean I trust her but I just can't tell her about me and Rickz.

"Of course I trust you, why do you ask?" I replied.

"Nothing, sometimes I feel like like your hiding something from me" She said looking into my eyes.

"Nah, you know your my best friend, my other half and I tell you everything babe don't think that" I lied between my teeth, I just don't want my actions or my choices affecting anyone around me.

<p>*Music starts playing on beats</p>pill* <p> </p><p> </p>

"Ey, Lamara our song! "Me and you we are going on a Holiday.."

"You look so good make me show my niggas everything.."

Then we both sang.

"BABY GIMME THAT VIVA, MAN ALREADY TOLD YOU BOUT' NITA HEY'LE'LE'LAY"

Then we both dropped on the floor laughing like mad! I swear
this girl just makes me forget about everything, but unfortunately when I
forget about everything I begin to remember everything...You won't get it. No one
would. She must have clocked my facial expression because she stopped laughing
and looked at me.

"Lala what's up?"

"Nothing, mm"

"You're lying because you made that mm sound, and I know when your lying your my best friend so go on, Tell me"

"It's Rickzs.."

"Did he hit you.."

I could already see her getting mad.

Don't tell her,
she'll just go to him and you know where that will end up.

But she's my best friend.

You know Rickzs and
you know what he would do.

"..No, I-I was just thinking about how much I love him, that's all"

"Awww, that's cute, you got me worried then thinking like he hit you or something as long as your happy I am too babe"

Yeah, that's what happens to me, I get voices in my head
controlling my life and it won't go away. It scares me. It makes me feel like I'm
in pen, closed walls and no air.

...

Just arrived outside the party now, the car journey with
Rickzs, April and Tailor was jokes. Tailor kept cursing words at April and he
would just keep flirting with her but for me, I got nothing from Ricksz.
Absolutely nothing. Rickzs stayed quiet the whole night but when we got outside
and saw everyone rolling he whispered in my ear
"don't do anything stupid because
I will kill a nigga tonight, try me." Then he saw Tailor looking at us

so he kissed me.

He does that.

I really hate him but love him and willing to do anything for him

We could hear bashment as we were walking inside the house
and that's when Tailor started dancing and we all just looked at her and laughed. You
could just see girls whining on boys and boys doing shots and shit. Couple
niggas were eyeing me but looked away when Rickzs held me closer and stared
straight at them. Girls were looking at Rickzs and I was giving them dirty
looks and they started laughing. These thirsty bitches piss me off, I don't mind
switching tonight.

Couple minute's later Tailor came to me, she looked high.

"Lamara, I beg you follow me to the toilet quick, I asked April to come
but he's being long and I don't know anyone else here"

"Why can't you go by yourself?"

"Are you dumb, it's all the way upstairs. Look at them stairs
please nah mate. I need someone to help me and I think I'm a bit drunk."

"That's Long Tailor man"

It wasn't I just didn't want Rickzs thinking anything.

"Just follow me"

I looked to Rickzs but he was talking to some girl so I just
followed Tailor upstairs. There were way too many hoes chatting to boys on the
stairs, the amount of times I said excuse me but no one wanted to move so I
just pushed them all out of my way. Dickheads.

I saw Rickzs coming upstairs and he looked mad.

"Why did you ghost like that?"

"I just followed Tailor, chill Rickzs"

"Come man and don't ghost like that again"

We were downstairs now, everyone was dancing, Rickzs got me
and pushed my head down then I started dancing on him. I could even hear his
friends shout his name "Is that you Rickzs!" When Controllaa came on every body literally started to dance.

Rickzs started chatting to some girl and I was getting pissed off, is this boy actually moving to a girl infront of me? How disrespectful.
I was getting mad , my palms were sweating and I was getting hot.
Then I saw her kiss him then thats when I got up and punched her and then aimed for her nose, Rickzs was trying to get me off of her her but I wasnt having it, nasty sket. Her friends came and thought they could start on me but then you see Tailor come.

"I swear to God touch her and and i'll murder you and bury you both in front of your parents houses, try me"

"I swear to God yeah, if I wasn't wearing this dress I would have fucked you up. Try me another time"
You just see me and Tailor laughing!
I punched her again even harder and slapped her face making her drop on the floor so her dress came up.
Dirty hoe, she was on her period.
"I swear To God yeah, where are you from? Someone said in the crowd. Then someone else screamed out "eeee her pussy stinks man, bare fishy and that"

I started to laugh so bad.

I just walked away from them with Tailor and screwed Rickzs.

This is what I mean Rickz can do anything to me, he has no respect always controlling me but when I even stare at a boy he over reacts.

Then the music stopped.

People were moving back and looking at the direction of me.
I'm not fighting no more so why are people watching me?

"Where's Lamara?"

Oh shit. Marvin.