I wish we were closer.
Yes, we've been friends for three years, but I wish we had more.
I want to be comfortable enough to call you, FaceTime you even.
Have a conversation at 3 am after a bad dream.
Cuddle (platonically, don't freak out, my friend) in bed watching something.
Constantly hang out at each other's houses.
Sit outside as the sun rises and talk about more serious, abstract concepts and our deepest secrets.
Comfortable enough to masquerade as a lesbian couple to ward off flirty boys (if there ever are any).
Fantasizing about becoming roommates in the future, going to college and traveling together.
Never going a day without talking, and neither of us worrying about being too clingy or smothering.
I just wish we were friends on a more intimate level.
Because right now consists of me always worrying about being too clingy, you never wanting to talk about serious stuff, texting where I respond instantly and you respond the next day, me constantly mentioning you and casually talking about your accomplishments to anyone who will listen while you probably think I'm crazy and would never talk about me the same way, etc., etc.,...
And I am almost fairly certain that I care more about you than you care about me and that you are slowly getting annoyed with me.
We don't fit the "there's no such thing as being too close" mold. And what sucks is I desperately want to fit that mold.
I'm a dreamer, and idealist, wanting what shows up on the big screen or in cheesy books, but yet wanting my life to have more meaning than that one-dimensional crap.
I hope you understand.
