onsra // a shawn mendes fanfiction

thirteen

m a d d i e

same night yo :)

"so no boyfriend?" I asked chloe.

chloe and I had been talking for a while now. I learned a lot about her.

"no, too many guys here are tools. they pretend to like you and get your feelings going all crazy and then go and leave you in the dark." she said kinda sadly.

"you know, I have a friend, jay, and he's one of the sweetest people I've ever met. he's that one." I said pointing to him through the window.

"he's hot, but looks like a heartbreaker."

"trust me, he's not. "

"CHLOE YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED." I looked up and saw a girl running towards us.

"that's my cue to go." I laughed, "I'll see you later."

as I walked away I heard Chloe and her friend talking.

"so what happened?" Chloe said.

"I totally just had sex with shawn mendes!" she exclaimed happily.

I stopped in my tracks.

I slowly walked backwards to them.

"y-you had sex with who?" I asked.

"who're you?"

"it's ok. she's cool." Chloe assured her and I sat down next to Chloe.

"I'm stephanie." she stated.

"maddie." i answered quickly and almost unsurely.

"so basically we were dancing together and then one thing lead to another and he brought me upstairs and things got heated and we had sex." stephanie said beaming.

"shawn mendes?" I said softer than I had wished.

"yes!" she exclaimed excitedly, "isn't that great!"

chloe sighed, "you need to chill on this whole sleeping with guys every chance you get thing."

"I know, and I've been trying, but this is freaking shawn mendes man!" stephanie smiled.

"how, uh, how long have you known him for?" I asked her.

"well I've known of him for like ever obviously because he's freaking Shawn mendes but we met formally for the first time tonight." she explained.

"well, um, I'm gonna go." I said solemnly.

"are you alright?" chloe asked me as I stood up to leave.

"I just found out the guy I have real strong feelings for is one of those tools you were talking about. you know, the kinda that pretend to like you and get your feelings going crazy and then leave you in the dark. so I don't know, I don't think I am alright." I said leaving them.

as I walked inside a tear escaped my eye and I found Blake.

"could you bring me home?" I asked him as i wiped another tear from my eye.

"yeah of course. what's wrong?" he said grabbing my arms.

"I'll tell you in the car. I just wanna go. I don't want anyone to see me cry. don't want them thinking I've gone soft." I tried to laugh.

blake smiled and we walked outside to his car.

"did you drink?" I asked him.

"not really. I'm in better condition to drive then you are." he joked and I forced a smile.

I got in the passenger seat and he got in the drivers seat.

"what's up?" Blake asked worriedly.

"well," I laughed as a tear fell from my eye, "here come the tears."

"I was uh, talking to this girl and her friend came over and was like," I stopped and took a deep breath, "you'll never believe this blah blah blah I had sex with shawn mendes!"

"hold up- she was kidding right?" Blake asked.

"nope. they were uh dancing together and then they went upstairs, fucked, and returned to the party. he didn't even have the decency to stay in bed with the girl. he just does this for fun." I looked out the window and more tears fell from my eyes.

"that dick." blake said through clenched teeth, hitting the steering wheel with his right hand.

"you know, he told me he liked me a lot. I thought he proved me wrong about what I thought he was. he just proved how right I was."

"I'm such an idiot god damnit." I said putting my hand over my temples.

"you're the farthest thing from an idiot, mads." blake said

"I should've seen this coming, blake. why the hell did I let myself catch feelings for shawn mendes?"

"they're feelings man, you can control them. shawn can do that to people." Blake reached over and grabbed my hand.

"you, my friend, are a gorgeous young lady who deserves the best man on the face of this earth. and I'm gonna make sure you get him." Blake smiled.

we arrived at my house and blake looked over at me.

"want me to come in?" he asked me with a look of concern of his face.

"no. I don't wanna cry about shawn. I'm better than him, I know that. he's loosing me." I said emphasizing the words 'he' and 'me'

"sucks to be him." blake said as I got out of the car.

"call me tomorrow, ok?" blake said and I nodded.

"thank you for the ride." I smiled and he did too.

"see ya, mads." he called out driving away.

I walked into my room and ripped off my clothes. I threw on sweatpants and a baggy tshirt and didn't bother with my usual night time routine. I got in bed and hid under my covers.

in this silent room, there was nothing to distract me from how I felt. I could do nothing but think. the silence of my room eventually got too loud and the tears came out.

I cried over a lot of things.

at first I cried because shawn slept with a random girl. next, because it was right after he told me he liked me a lot and then kissed me. after that, because while he was sleeping with this girl, I was thinking about how much i liked him and how amazing that kiss was. and lastly, because of how I now felt about myself.

I now knew I wasn't special. that was the moment I learned that I was just like every other girl in the mind of shawn mendes.

//
ouchhhhh

this is how every guy in my life is now tho i was such an innocent little child when i wrote this story