onsra // a shawn mendes fanfiction

fourteen

s h a w n
^^ different lol

monday :((

"hey maddie." I said awkwardly and she looked over at me.

she's been ignoring my texts all weekend and i don't know what's going on.

she gave me a smile that I knew she tried to make look real, but I knew it wasn't. I watched her as she walked away.

I leaned back on my locker sighing and was scared by someone punching my locker.

"you're a fucking dick you know that?" blake said looking at me angrily.

"you gotta problem?" I said moving closer to him.

"do I have a problem?" blake asked turning away, "shawn you're the one with a problem. why the fuck do you treat people the way you do?"

"hey, I don't what you're talking about and who you think you are but-" I started but he stopped me.

"I'm talking about maddie." blake said and I backed off him when I heard her name.

"what?" I asked.

"do you know how fucking badly you hurt her?" Blake asked me and my heart ached.

"what do you mean?" I asked him.

"why the hell would you tell her you like her and then go of and fuck some other girl?" Blake said to me.

i looked at him and became flustered. i didn't know what to say. stupidly, i decided to defend myself.

"does it matter? you guys obviously slept together." I blurted out, not really knowing what i was saying.

"you're kidding right?" he laughed with anger in his eyes. "maddie came to me fucking crying last night because some random hoe was telling her that she had sex with you. we left because she wanted to go home. I fucking dropped her off man."

"shit." I mumbled running my fingers through my hair.

" i swear to god dude if we weren't in school right now I'd beat your ass." blake threatened me.

"I'd like to see you try." I said stepping up on him and shoving him a little bit. yet again, a bad idea. blake swung and punched me right in the face. he then walked away confidently which made me so fricken mad, but I kept my cool. because I knew for sure that fighting that guy would make things with maddie worse. and I can't let that happen.

------

after last period $$

I saw maddie at her locker and started walking faster.

"maddie!" I said walking over.

she took a look at me, turned her back, and started walking away.

I watched as she walked away from me, but as she reached the doors to go outside, I ran after her.

"maddie! maddie come on! let me talk to you!" I yelled as I ran to catch up with her.

when I finally got next to her she kept walking, so I did too.

"listen, you don't have to talk to me, I can't make you do that. but please just listen to what I have to say." I said and she stopped walking.

she slowly lifted her head up and looked me in the eyes.

I looked into her beautiful blue eyes and felt like I was being dragged into them. I saw disappointment, anger, and sadness in her eyes.

"what happened to your face?" she asked and I laughed a little.

"I got punched, but listen maddie, I'm sorry." I said finally and her eyes changed to mostly anger.

"wow. I really was right about you." she said continuing to walk.

"what's that mean?" I asked kind of offended.

"it means I always thought you were a douche and I was right. sorry? all you have to say to me is sorry? you're a fricking douche and that's all you'll ever be."

"ok hold on." I said getting irritated, "I only did that because I thought you and blake were into each other."

"what?" she said stepping back and looking at me.

"one minute you're kissing me the next minute you're hugging blake." I said.

maddie looked at me in disbelief, "one minute you're kissing me and the next minute you're having sex with a random girl. don't you understand that? I hugged my friend and you had sex with someone you don't even care about. blake and I are friends, and you can't stop me from hugging my friends."

"why does it even bug you so much maddie? we aren't dating." I said in the heat of the moment but immediately regretted it.

the longer she stared at me after i said this the more and more my heart ached, "maddie,"

"this bugs me so much because I really really liked you, shawn. you made me crazy happy when we were around each other. and for some odd reason I thought that you had changed and you actually liked me. I wish so badly that I had know you were just playing me. this BUGS me so much because I'm realizing that you never actually cared about me. that I'm just like every other girl you've ever talked to. I just had this crazy image of us that looked like I was for some reason special and you really did like me." her voice cracked as she said her next sentence, "that hurt me, shawn."

as soon as she finished speaking she turned around and ran for her car. as she drove past me, i saw her wipe a tear off her face

God damn I screwed up so bad.

//

crazy crazy crazy how crazy

this is fr lit like blake is mad but i feel like blakes pretty hot