The Half-Blood Black

Chapter Twenty- Five✨

Molly Weasley leaves us meals before her and Arthur apparate home, now Tonks, Severus, Dumbledore, Sirius and I all sit at the kitchen table with plates before us. Dumbledore eats happily, he casts me a small smile as I push around a minced meat pie. These have never been my favorite, and tonight the last thing I want to do is eat.

After storming away from Sirius, the shocked expressions of everyone floating in my mind, I locked myself in my bedroom, ignoring my fathers voice from down below. He thinks he can control me? He doesn't know what the Sorting Hat said to me, that there's something dark within me, coming for all of us.

Tonks came and knocked on my door later in the evening and told me we were eating dinner. I ignored her at first but she eventually got inside and asked me about why I felt that I was sorted into the wrong house. I brushed off her questions, it's not like anyone would understand. Sirius couldn't even listen to me about it, his undying loyalty to them a thorn in my side. 

But I have more important things to worry about right now that whose house is better. 

Now we all sit around the kitchen table in silence, unsure of what to say or do. The tension between Sirius and I weighs heavily amongst everyone. Tonks' eyes are flashing between the two of us, Remus tries to hold a conversation with Dumbledore, who just lets it fall after a while. I think he enjoys these types of situations. Snape, indiscreet as always, sits ramrod straight, his food untouched before him, staring me down. 

"Well this is marvelous, someone will have to remind me to write to Molly and thank her." Dumbledore says, breaking the silence suddenly.

"Will do, Dumbledore." Sirius replies.

Sirius glances up from his plate and looks at me. I look away and then stand, grabbing my Headmasters empty plate and setting it into the sink. I throw my leftovers in the garbage and stalk back up the stairs, ignoring the voices down below.

Someone knocks on my door a little while later and I groan before saying, "Come in."

To my surprise, Dumbledore walks inside and sits down on one of the couches in front of the roaring fireplace. "Come sit." He says motioning to a small love seat.

I hop off the giant bed and make my way over to the chair, falling into its plush and coughing as dust surrounds me. I wave it away and then face Dumbledore.

"I heard you and your father earlier." He starts. "And I've been noticing you at school, how you are never around the other Gryffindor students. You are always by yourself in the common room and the dining hall. And Professor McGonagall said nobody partnered with you for dance lessons ... until Fred Weasley finally showed up for class."

I blush, thinking about his red hair, his hands on my waist, making me laugh and trying to make me feel better about my lack of a partner, making fun of Ron for dancing with McGonagall. I felt included then, it gave me hope. Almost as if I had a chance amongst them. 

"Now I understand that you may feel attracted to those in Slytherin and there is nothing wrong with that, but there is a problem when you speak of your loyalties. You may have loyalties to your friends in Slytherin, but that does not mean it is with Slytherin house. Your loyalties are with Gryffindor."

"Headmaster--" I begin, leaning forward in the chair.

"I haven't finished. You are now a member of the Order of the Phoenix and that means that you must ensure your full loyalty to this. You have no time for Slytherin house, especially if it is not yours. Your loyalties will always lie with those who you wish them to be, believe me, but you must also realize you have moral obligations. If you choose to give up on one of them, then you give up on all of them."

Dumbledores words hang in the air as I stare at him, his silver beard and hair flowing down and around him. I look down in shame and shake my head.

"I'm sorry, Dumbledore. You must think I am so pathetic." I say embarrassed.

"Oh no, that's not it at all. On the contrary I think that you are an incredibly strong soul, but a very vulnerable person."

I let out a deep breath, knowing that I can trust him. "I have a confession to make."

"Intriguing. Do you care to share?" I nod slowly as he leans back into his chair. "Coming from the daughter of Sirius Black, I feel as if I should get comfortable."

-

I walk around the room, watching the stars twinkle above. If only I knew what the constellation Sirius looks like. I'm unsure of what to do with myself. Tonks came and went, trying to break the ice. 

The bedroom door opens and my father steps inside, a sad smile on his face. "Hello."

"Hey." I reply, avoiding eye contact.

He comes closer, sitting on the couch where Dumbledore was earlier. I sit on the edge of the bed, picking at my nails, twisting the rings that Sirius gave me as a late birthday present. I keep the small gold ring with a red ruby on my left pointer finger. He had it changed to my size — he bought it at Hogsmeade when he was sorted into Gryffindor.

The other is a simple gold band that shines with the constellation Lyra when the light hits it right.

"I've come to talk to you about the Yule Ball." He says suddenly. "Tonks said you couldn't go without a dress. And I completely agree, only that you can get a dress if you do not attend it with the Malfoy boy."

"I am not attending the Yule Ball." I reply. "And don't talk to me about Draco. You can't ... you wouldn't ... you just don't get it."

"Because I said I wouldn't support your going with him?"

"Because nobody has asked me except for him! Is that what you want to hear? God, it's so pathetic. I have to go with him or I can't go at all. Especially if my father tries to control me, even though you weren't there for any of my life."

Sirius sighs and holds his head in his hands. "I didn't come to fight."

"I didn't come home to fight either." I say bluntly, looking at his figure.

Silence drags by, seconds turning into minutes. "I can't allow this, Lyra." 

"You are not one to tell me what to do." I grumble. More silence. More anger. "I am trying my best, I really am. They aren't letting me in, no matter how hard I try. It's not ... it's not like I want to be friends with him. I don't have another choice. If you knew what it was like for me at Hogwarts, you might have even a smidgen of empathy for me and understand me. But all you've done all day is criticize my feelings and tell me I'm wrong, wrong, wrong."

"I'm trying to protect you." he says bluntly. 

"Then stop! You've never protected me, what gives you the right?"

Sirius closes his eyes for a long time and takes a deep breath in and out. "I am trying to understand you, but you are purposefully being hurtful with your words in the hopes that you will break me. You hurt me more than the dementors ever did. More than the accusations that I had killed my best bloody friends." he stands and stalks away from me, turning my door handle. "And that is why you do not have my blessing to attend the Yule Ball. I will speak no more of this, and neither will you."