The Half-Blood Black

Chapter Thirty-One✨

"I — you can't erase my memories!" he says panicked. "That would completely alter my life!"

I'm silent as I pour hot water in my mug. He's frightened, I like it. But it also causes something to stir inside of me. Panic? Empathy? I shoot it down, ignoring anything remotely close to feeling bad for him.

"Lyra, I would never want to purposefully hurt you--" Draco starts.

"Ha! Because ignoring me merely weeks and days before the Yule Ball wasn't hurting me? Oh and who can forget the muddy blood jabs? Calling me a half breed? That's not being hurtful?" I reply.

He looks down and doesn't say a word, so I keep going.

"You're my only friend!"

"Oh please, you and Fred Weasley can't stop flirting with each other for a second—"

"Making me an outcast in my own house. Let's not forget the time you embarrassed me in the court yard! Pulling your wand out on me. Almost breaking mine. Following me around. Acting like you hate me. Being a dick around your friends. None of that hurt me, huh, Draco?"

He is still silent so I slam my fists on the table. "Aren't you going to say anything?"

Draco lifts his head from the table and looks at me for a long time before I pull my wand out and point it at him. He seems to cower away and his mouth forms an O.

"Finally a fucking reaction!" I exclaim.

His mouth closes and before I can even stop myself the chair next to Draco disintegrates into ashes.

"Bloody hell, Lyra, are you done yet?" He says finally, trying to stand up, but the ropes hold him back.

"Un-fucking-believable." I mutter.

"Now as I was saying earlier, I would never want to hurt you or put you in harms way--" I scuff "--even though it is a common occurrence at Hogwarts. I feel like that is the only way I can keep myself from letting my true feelings out..."

I sit across from him blowing on my hot tea.

"Because if I don't insult you," Draco says, leaning forward across the table. "Then I might just have to ... fall in love with you."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and shake my head. I've done it, I've actually done. 

"You wouldn't know what love is." I reply.

"I don't know what love is? Like hell I don't. Like I don't know what your favorite spell to perform is. Like I don't know you spend every spare moment in the library. Like I don't know that you secretly want everyone in Gryffindor to suddenly become your friends so you can stop running with the Slytherins."

I look up at him and sip my tea. "How did you come up with that much bullshit."

"Let me kiss you."

I choke and hot tea comes out of my nose, splashing onto the table and covering Sirius' oversized Gryffindor shirt.

"You've got to be joking, Malfoy." I say.

I'm intrigued. What would it be like to kiss him? Would it make a difference? Kissing Cedric was ... exciting ... until we were done and I realized that we totally fucked over our friendship.

"It might make you understand me." he whispers.

"My father is UP. STAIRS!"

"Just once. You're not going to let me remember anyway."

I pause. Maybe this is what we need, this will finally let him come undone. I have to swallow my pride, just let it happen. Okay, Malfoy, I'll bite.

Besides, it's a KISS. Just something meaningless.

I move closer and Draco leans forward.

When Cedric kissed me, it was harsh and rushed; Draco kisses me softly. I wait for sparks, nothing comes. I'm half disappointed, half relieved. This will be easier than I thought.

"Eh hmm." Someone says.

Draco and I stop and look up to see Lupin standing there with Tonks.

"And what the bloody hell do you think you are doing?" He says.

Tonks is oddly silent. She doesn't look me in the eye, but I can see the same disappointment on her face that Remus has. I stand and discard my tea in the sink as Remus sits down at the end of the table, looking around the room. I clean the cup slowly, taking my time, waiting for someone, anyone, to say something.

"Goodnight." I say, squeezing past Tonks in the doorway.

She doesn't look up at me.

"Goodnight." Draco replies.

"Shut the bloody hell up." Remus says angrily.

Nobody says anything to me, I continue on my way up the stairs. I stand in the hallway and Tonks looks up at me, a sad smile crossing her face.

"Goodnight, luvvy." she whispers.

If anyone will forgive me, it's her.

-

Sure enough, in the early hours of the morning Tonks come to may in bed with me.

We lay there in silence until she asks me why I've come home. I sigh and roll over to face her, her facing me.

"Sirius was, is, in trouble." I say finally.

"More trouble than being the most wanted man in the wizarding world?" she asks, concern gracing her beautiful features.

I explain to her how Cedric approached me and gave me the option of telling him whether or not I knew where Sirius was. I can see her face become increasingly worried as I go on, telling her how Barty Crouch all but never took his eyes off me the whole night.

"What a pervert." She scuffs. "His son was sent to Azkaban years ago after Karkaroff revealed he was a Death Eater."

"Karkaroff of Durmstrang?" I ask.

"Yes, that one."

"Wow. And to think this is all happening now?"

"Have you spoken to Harry about it?"

"Yes. Crouch actually approached the two of us. I can tell he's nervous now, seeing the two of us together. Whether or not he'll suspect Harry being in contact with Sirius I don't know."

"We'll worry about it in the morning. There's no point in waking Sirius. He never worries about himself, only you and Harry. I mean, I can't blame him, but he's the only family you guys have."

"I understand. I wish he wouldn't. But Tonks, you're my family."

"Oh, luvvy, I know. I just wish that he would be more concerned about his situation than he is."

We stay silent for a little bit then she rolls over, her back facing me. I roll to my other side, staring out the window and into the black night sky.

"You need to stay away from him, Lyra." she says.

I'm silent, but I know she knows that I'm not sleeping.

"I know." I say finally, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.