Dear Keiji,
Keiji Keiji Keiji. I love saying your name. I love writing it. I just really love your name.
Yes, even after all these years, I still love everything about you. I love your hair, your eyes, your pretty smile, your brilliant mind, your cuddles at three am. I love that you were able to pick me up off the ground when I was sad, and love me like no one else would.
But I've changed. I've changed a lot, too. I'm not really sure if you could ever really love me again.
But I miss you. I miss your voice, I miss talking to you, I miss all the interesting things you used to bring up in conversation. I'm a fucking wreck here without you, so much that I tracked down your address just to send this stupid letter to you that you might throw away.
We never should have separated.
--Kou
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Akaashi's hands shook as he read the letter.
It was short and straight forward, but tiny knives can kill you too.
Eventually Akaashi closed his eyes and fell back on his bed to escape his tears. He was always, always holding back tears.
That was one thing that Akaashi didn't change about himself.
---
Dear Kou,
I miss you too. I know we shouldn't have left each other, but our situation made us so confused. We didn't know what to do, we were only in college.
Anyway, I have changed so much since college. You're right about that.
You won't love my mind anymore, it's frazzled and dark in there.
You won't love the way I take your sadness away, I can't even take away mine.
You won't love my voice-- I barely use it and it's become cracked and horrible.
You won't love me anymore-- I'm a fucking freak.
That's why I think you should stay away from me. I love you way too much, and I want you to keep that image you still have inside your head.
The image of the old me, the me with a purpose and a future. This new me doesn't have any of that.
I stopped playing volleyball-- everything about it was so quiet and horrible without you. I started this bad job, I started drinking, my hands can't stop shaking, you'll hate me, and I'd rather you keep that fantasy version of me with you than this mistake I am now.
I love you, never forget that.
-Keiji
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*coughs* this chapter has 420 words *coughs*
smoke weed erryday
