Hold Me

Chapter 5 - I Didn't Drown

Hamilton sat up and wrapped Laurens in a hug. "I'm sorry," Hamilton pulled away and looked down, "if I scared you. I didn't mean to." He fiddled with his hands. Since coming to America Hamilton had not experienced any sever weather. He hadn't been in the country for any prolonged period of time but he hadn't expected it to come on so suddenly. 

"As long as you're okay, it's okay," Laurens pushed some hair out of Hamilton's face. "You are okay right?"

Hamilton nodded, "I'm okay...now."

"Does this," Laurens didn't want to pry too much, "does this happen a lot?"

"Uhh," Hamilton ran a hand through his hair. "Not usually, I guess just really bad weather sets me off. I'm okay now though, I promise." He looked at Laurens so that his friend would believe he was okay. Hamilton was astonished. He was actually blown away by the fact that Laurens had stayed with him and tried to provide comfort. Laurens genuinely seemed to care about him. It had been years since anyone showed that kind of emotion towards him. The only thing that upset Hamilton at this point was how tired Laurens looked, it had been his fault. He had kept Laurens awake.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Laurens thought that seemed like the right thing to do. Hamilton's eyes were still red from how much he cried. Perhaps talking about it might take a load off of Hamilton, then it might not be so hard next time. Laurens knew that was unlikely but if he knew what was going on then he might be able to help more.

"It was a while ago, I was about seventeen. I was already an orphan an there had been a friend of me mother's who was taking care of me. Her house was near the beach and I would go write in the sand everyday. It was pretty late when it happened, I was asleep, everyone was asleep. This hurricane came and it caused so much devastation. So many people drowned," tears welled up in Hamilton's eyes and he tried to his them. "I didn't drown. I couldn't seem to die."

Laurens didn't know what to say or what to think. He hugged his friend and felt him cry. Laurens had no idea that Hamilton was an orphan. He had no idea that Hamilton had gone through anything like that. He just hugged his friend as close as he could. Hamilton kept apologizing and Laurens kept telling him to stop.

Neither of them had any classes that day so they sat on the bed and cuddled. They talked about everything and nothing at the same time. They stayed like this for many hours, occasionally slipping into little twenty minute naps together. Laurens woke up at one point to find Hamilton staring at him, he stared back. Suddenly, Hamilton's lips were on Laurens and they shared a sweet, slow kiss. When the pulled away, both broke into a bright blush. Hamilton became very flustered and Laurens kissed him again. 

Both had the same 'what did I just do' moment at the same time. This made them more flustered. 

"I will...I'll be right back," Hamilton stuttered heading for the door.

"M-me too," Laurens also spoke with a stutter. 

They walked down the hall in opposite directions.

--

"You did what," Hercules raised an eyebrow at the very out of breath John Laurens that had collapsed in Lafayette's beanbag chair.

"I kissed him," Laurens pulled his hair into a ponytail as something to do with his hands.

"Not that part," Hercules exclaimed, "the other part."

"It all happened so fast. You guys, I don't know what to do."

"You may not have said anything but you thought it, non," Lafayette looked up from painting his nails. "It still counts."

"He's right you know," Hercules gestured to the Frenchman.

"But what do I do about it? We haven't even known each other that long," Laurens pulled the ponytail out and fiddled with the elastic. "I don't get this way."

"You've never had the chance," Lafayette smiled. "Perhaps it may be something you need to figure out or, I don't know, you could just tell the boy."

"But Laf, it was just a kiss."

"It was two kisses," Hercules pointed out, showing that he had been paying attention. "Sometimes that's all it takes." He reached over and kissed Lafayette on the cheek.

--

"HO-LY FUCK," Hamilton burst into the Schuyler sister's dorm. They all looked up at him rather confused, and maybe a little scared, "I kissed him."

All three of the sisters stood up. "You did what," Eliza squealed as she pulled Alexander to the couch. 

"I kissed him. I kissed John Laurens then... then I ran away," he said without changing his pace or tone.

"You ran way," Angelica half scolded him. "Why would you do that?"

"I got scared."

"Of John Laurens," Eliza was confused. John Laurens was the last thing anyone would be scared of. 

"I think he cares about me."

"Hamilton, we also care about you," Angelica reminded him.

"But I think I care about him too," Alexander began to smile.

"Angelica," Eliza looked at her sister, "I'm not sure he means sibling like care."

"I'm not sure he means care," Peggy explained.

"Holy fuck," Alexander whispered. "I really think I might be starting to care about him."

"I really don't think he means care," Peggy once again point out.

"I think you're right." Alexander looked at the girls. "What do I do?"