Hold Me

Chapter 16 - Confession Time (The Room Where It Happens)

Hamilton woke Laurens up that morning with kisses between stories. He had only been half trying to wake up his boyfriend. "I was always smaller than the other kids," Hamilton whispered to Laurens thinking he was still asleep. "Some of them would make fun of me because I'd rather read than play. There other kids who noticed. I guess they felt bad for me because they managed to get them to leave me alone. It happened a couple of times. I never told them to stop though, I always just let things happen."

Hamilton continued to tell Laurens stories for the next two hours. Laurens thought it might be better if he pretended to be asleep.

"Before I came here I ummm," Hamilton paused, "I haven't talked about. It wasn't one of my best moments. Um, I was supposed to leave home in two months and I guess I realized that everyone else would have their parents to help them or their friends. I had none of that. I wasn't having a good time then, it had been going on for a while. I thought... I don't know what I thought. I was just tired Laurens, I was so tired. I gave up." 

Laurens opened his eyes but Hamilton wasn't looking at him. Hamilton continued, "I didn't know what else to do. I didn't see how things could be any better here. I thought I'd still be alone. I was so scared." Hamilton put his head back on Laurens chest. "I just couldn't see to die."

Laurens softly rubbed his back. Hamilton wasn't crying. It took a few minutes before Hamilton spoke again. "Then I met you. Then I liked you. I was still scared." Hamilton sat up a little so the two were looking at each other. "I didn't think it was possible for anyone to love something this...damaged." 

Laurens pulled Hamilton close. Hamilton may not have been crying but Laurens thought he might. It took a moment for Laurens to realize when Hamilton had been doing. Hamilton may have lost his journal but he remembered what he had written. He wanted Laurens to know his secrets. 

--

It was dark outside before Hamilton managed to sneak away from Laurens and the rest of the gang. Hamilton was doing everything he could to avoid being seen by any of his friends. However, Hamilton was not considering that some of his friends were also sneaky.

Hamilton stood outside a door he had never been in front of before. With a deep breath he knocked.

"Hamilton,what are you doing here?"  James Madison asked after he opened the door.

"Madison," Hamilton smiled, "may I come in? I was hoping to speak with Jefferson."

"Of course."

Hamilton disappeared behind the door. 

--

Both Hercules and Maria had been put in charge of making sure this was the exact thing Hamilton didn't do. Hercules didn't see Maria in the hall but that didn't stop him from approaching the room. He slowed his pace as he watched Aaron Burr leave. Luckily, Burr was long gone before Hercules approached the room.

Maria had a different approach which was a little dangerous considering that everything was still covered in ice. 

The Schuyler sister's could afford to live on the floor with the balconies, it was convenient because Jefferson also lived on this floor. However, they lived on opposites sides of the building. Maria Reynolds had what some would call a special skill set. Not only had she been the best in gymnastics and track and field, she was also really good at not falling. 

She had landed on Jefferson's balcony around the same time Hamilton got in the door. She could see in without being seen and she could, for the most part, hear what was being said. 

--

Maria had singled Eliza when it seemed the little meeting was done with so she could make sure Hercules didn't get busted. The five gathered in the Schuyler room to try and piece things together. 

"I think we should wait," Maria looked up from her spot on the couch. "If we tell John then he won't be as shaken up when it happens. Jefferson might be able to tell he knows something."

"Laurens is our friend. Can we really sit to the side and put him through that?" Hercules had never really seen Laurens upset and it wasn't something he wanted to see.

"Hamilton is our friend too," Angelica looked at the group.

"She's right," Eliza said. "If Jefferson can do a half of what he said, Alexander could be sent home. We'd never see him again."

"John would never see him again. That would probably hurt more," Maria added. They all nodded.

"Okay, so when this happens I think we need to know what we're going to do." Peggy had brought up a good point. They all had to be careful. If they didn't know what they were doing then something might be able to get through them. They needed everything they could get. 

"Angelica and I can handle Alexander," Eliza said. 

"Laf, Hercules and I will get Laurens," Peggy looked at the boys to confirm.

"I'll keep an eye on Jefferson," Maria agreed with the position that was left for her.