SOPHIA
I texted Camila and i said that i'm already at the bar. They decided to have a girls night out so i don't have a choice but to go
I'm at the counter taking already some shots. I'm so stressed. Physically and emotionally tired. It's draining all my energy
After a few shots, i became a little tipsy. The alcohol just walked me to the dance floor. Where the hell are they? I'm already here dancing and they're still not here
"What the... Shawn?"
"Shhh.." He tries to calm me. He puts my hands around his neck and his are on my waist. The music changed into slow one and we sway along to it
"What are you doing here?" I asked. I didn't tell him about our night out!
"Just checking my girl" He says and winks at me. Damn it!
"Camila and the girls will be here any minute! They might caught us" I said panicking but he pulled me closer to him
"Shh. I know, let's just dance while they aren't here" He responds. I can almost feel his breath on my nape
He will always try to sneak just to be with me. I always wanted to be with him too but we have to be careful..
There are times that he'll go to my house in the middle of the night so no one will see him. It's hard to live when cameras are everywhere following your every move
I looked up to him and he's smiling. I wish all of this could end
I tiptoed and kissed him. He'll scold me for drinking but who cares. He's all i want right now
He tries to escape from the kiss but i pushed myself closer to him. I want Shawn so bad
"Sophia.." He says and i stopped. Fuck is he resisting me?
"What? You don't want me anymore? You just realized that this set up is dumb? What!?" I said. I didn't shout on him. People here will notice us so i tried to calm myself
"No.. no.. baby. I saw Camila and Hailee walked inside. They can't see us both here" He explains that relieved me. I thought he's tired hiding, i thought he's tired with me. Shit.. i'm so paranoid
"I'll call you later, okay? Don't drink too much" He reminds and kisses my forehead "And don't you dare dance with anyone!" He raises his eyebrow and i chuckled
He hurried because Camila already saw me. I wiped my tears and calm myself
"Hey!" I greeted Hailee
"Yo, girl. You look hot" She says and i laughed
The night was fun but i couldn't take Shawn out of my mind. He's driving me crazy.
I called Greyson to come pick me up.. I can't drive anymore. I'm crocked and i wanna know something
"Why the hell are you here?" He preludes when he arrived. I waited for him at the parking lot. Shit.. my vision is spinning
"Girls night out" I replied and he guided me to the passengers seat
"And you didn't told me?" He hissed and starts the engine
"You're busy" I respond coldly
Yeah. He's always busy that he can't even make time for me
"Yeah i am. And you'd call me in the middle of the night because you're drunk? Sophia i have an early flight tomorrow but here i am driving home my drunkard girlfriend" He says that left me speechless. What did he say?
I just stared at him. My heart is pounding with his words. That's not the Greyson that i knew
I just ignored what he said and stared outside of the window
"Will you.. would you do anything just to be with me?" I suddenly asked. I want to know, i need to know
"Of course i will. But" He laughs that offended me. My chest starts to hurt "Don't expect me to say that i'd give up anything for you. Specially my career.. that's bullshit" He adds and my mouth is widely open. That was not the words i'm expecting for him to say.. But hell, yeah. He's not Shawn. He's not my Shawn that will do everything for me.. he will never be Shawn
"Stop the car" I said firmly
"What? No-.." I cut him off
"I SAID STOP THE CAR!" I shouted and he stopped it
I stepped outside and walked as fast as i could. I know i made a mistake..
"Sophia!!.." He calls but i hide on the back of a tree. I can't take it anymore.. Tears are flowing endlessly from my eyes. It hurts so much. I would do anything for him yet.. Fuck!
I dialled Shawn's number. I badly need him right now
"Sh..Shawn" I called sobbing
"Sophia? Wait.. are you crying? Where are you?" I told him where i am and i sat on the sidewalk while waiting for him
My life is so fucked up! I hate it!
"Baby.. shh" I heard Shawn and hugged me.
I cried on his chest..
"What happened?" He asks and i shook my head
It took a long time for me to calm down.. We decided to walk along the streets and i held his hand but he removes it.. I feel.. rejected and its fucking painful
"Wh..why?" I asked my voice cracked
"I just want to be careful.." He responds and holds my hand
"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you" He adds and i just nodded
We walked back to his car decided to go home. I'm so exhausted. My head hurts as well as my heart. I feel like its bleeding already
I hold Shawn's hand and he looked at me
"Shawn.." I called
"Hmm..?"
"Would you runaway with me?" He looked at me. We're already infront of my house
"Do you want to run away? Of course i would" He says that relieved me. Atleast i know Shawn will do such things that i can for the ones i love. But Greyson's words still hits me
"Let's leave and go somewhere far" He says. He looks serious
"Wh..what?" I asked shocked "You can't just leave.. your career and fans" I remind him. Its not that easy as it looks like
"I know.. But i can already settle down. I can find work for us. Besides, i already have enough money to build a family" I think i'm running out of breath. Is he loosing his mind?
"Sophia.." He calls me but i burst on tears again
"You can't just leave like that.. as much as i want to be with you.. we'll going to hurt many people.." I said still crying. He went closer and hugged me
"I know.. stop crying.. I was just suggesting. You know how badly i want to be with you" He tucked some strands of my hair behind my ear
"I'm always here, okay? We can get this through. I'll fix everything. I promise" He says and kisses me.
"But it's too complicated. Its wrong" I respond but hugs me tight
"God, why do i let this happen to us?" He whispers to my ear " I wish i can pull back time when you're only mine" He adds
"I love you, okay? That all that matters now. I promise everything will fall into their right places. Just trust me. I can't afford to loose you. Not now" He said almost crying
All of this tires me. I just want to give up but i can't, i love him. And just when i realized that only loved Greyson because i'm yearning for Shawn's. And i know it wrong. It's fucking wrong. I just used him. And i feel sorry. I'm sorry Greyson. I loved you but i love Shawn more than anything
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Could i just not write a heart breaking scene? 'Cause it always makes me cry... huhuhu guys!!
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FanfictionWhat does it feel like to be inlove with Shawn Mendes? FANFIC OF SHAWN MENDES Wrong spellings ✔ Grammatical Errors ✔ Editing in Progress