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SOPHIA
"What are you doing here?" I yelled at Hayes. I was in the middle of my siesta and he'd just popped in front of me? I just wanna punch his face but i'm not in the mood, i'm kinda being moody lately and it's weird
"Soph.. please. Help me, she's mad and she broke up with me" He pleases. Kylie broke up with him and ran into my house crying because he saw this ass kissing another girl.
"I won't! I told you i'd break your nose if you hurt her.. but.. whatever just leave my house and never show your face again" I said almost ranning out of breath and continued eating the grapes. I never really liked grapes before but i'm craving for it almost everyday
"You know me.. she's a fan and i was also shocked that she kissed me. I didn't pushed her that quickly because i don't want to be rude and you know how showbiz works" He says and i can sense that he's depressed. Why do i have such friends with complicative brains?
I sighed. He's right. I know he won't hurt Kylie but she's in pain, they're both my friends and i want them to be happy
"I know.. i was just carried away. Sorry" I respond and he sat beside me
"I don't want to loose her" His voice cracked. I saw and felt how much he loved Kylie
"Just give her time, i know she'll forgive you. I'll help you" I said to cheer him up
"Thanks, Soph. You're always the best" He said and chuckles
"Shut up and leave me now. I want to relax" I said and chewed
"Soph?" He calls and my eyes are on the television
"Hmm?" I respond
"Do you already chose?" He asks that caught my attention
"Chose what?" I asked trying to sound that i dont know what he's talking about
"You know what i mean.." He says and i sighed. Gulped what i'm chewing and looked at him
"I do.. i just need a little time" He smiled and nods
"Seriously? I don't remember that you liked grapes and look at you now, almost ate bunch of it" He says while messing my hair
I slapped his arm. I didn't have a shower yet he'd ruffle my hair?
"And you're moody. What's wrong with you?" He asks and i just rolled my eyes on him and pushed him outside of my house. I just want to be alone in peace. I snored and stretched my arms. I'm kinda sleepy but i want spare ribs. Why do i have this kind of appetite lately? It sucks
My phone rang and i saw Shawn's caller I.D. i reject it and turned off my phone.
It's been a month after what happened to the resort. And it's been a month that i'm avoiding him. He should be with someone more in need and i'm not her. He's at europe. He said that he has shows but i know the truth. Hazelle texted me and guess what she said?
Thank you, Sophia. He'll come with me to my chemo theraphies and take care of me while i'm undergoing medications. You don't know how happy i am. It means a lot. Thank you!
I didn't cried every single tear after that. I was just tired. I don't have the energy to express my sorrows or i was just already numb.
I never tell him anything. I never told him that Hazelle begged and cried just to have him. I didn't pushed him to help her so maybe that explains everything. And its exhausting to understand and accept the fact that he's doing that because he just wanted to help.
He was almost three weeks gone and i never talked to him the day that i gave myself to him. I gave him up. Not that i don't love him anymore but it just makes no sense at all. Why would i fight for him if i knew that i'll lose in the end?
Greyson was visiting me sometimes and i was being cold to him. I still can't forget what happened the last time he picked me up at the bar. It just hurted me so much. I didn't care about anything lately. I just want to sit here in my couch and eat some grapes while watching movies
Tomorrow is the last day. Shawn and i will be singing at the iHeart Radio awards. And i'll be quitting my career. It's not really for me. My life just became more complicated since i entered this cruel and thorny industry
I heard a knock from the door and i thinked twiced before standing up. I let a deep breath out before opening it
My heart just dropped when i saw him
"Hi.." He greets and smiles at me sweetly
"Oh.. come in" I said and i let him sit on my couch i was standing steps away from him. I don't know what to do
"Why? You don't want me here?" He asks and i shook my head. I don't want to hurt him
I sat beside him and he hugged me in my waist and his face is on my neck almost feeling his every breath
"I missed you.." He mumbles and his warm breath tickles me
"I can't go with you tomorrow and watch. I have a show" He says and i was kinda relieved. I can't stand seeing them both where i am. It will just crush me into dust because my conscience will bug me
"Oh.." I said and bit my lower lip "You want a ride?" I said and he shakes his head
"You'd get tired. I'll just call you when i get there, okay?" He whispers and i just nodded
We stayed at that position for a while before he let fo of his hug. It seems like i'm going to run and he's gripping me to stay
"Grapes?" He asks when he saw the bowl on the table
"What?" I asked innocently. What's wrong with the grapes?
He chuckled "Nothing, babe. I gotta go. I need to pack my things, i'll call you later" He says and kisses my forehead.
I sighed
"Take care" He adds as i walked him to the door
I smiled. Trying all my best to give him a geniune one
"Drive safely, Grey" I said before closing the door and i'm slowly breaking down.
One
Two
Three
How many times did i've cried because of this? It's enervating. Have you ever felt feeling tired of being tired? I know its crazy but that's what i feel. I already made a decision and i know it's the best for the all of us.
I can't have two of them. It only takes two to tango. I have to hurt one of them and it's a hard decision to make but i have to let him go. I have to let him have his own life to be happy. I don't want to be selfish.
