Up At Night

13

"LAUREN ROSE WINSTON! GET YOUR ASS HERE RIGHT NOW!" I heard dad's voice yell from the kitchen. I'm screwed. I walked into the kitchen and there was an angry man waiting for me. "My office. Now." He said and I went to his office. I sat on an armchair and dad came in. "WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!" He yelled. "B-b-Bailey's." I lied. "No you weren't, Lauren. Tell me. Where the hell were you." He said. "At a party." I said. "What party?! How the hell did you end up being arrested huh?! Why were you drinking?" He asked. More like yelled. "I'M SORRY DAD! I'M SORRY THAT I AM NOT THE PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE, I'M SORRY THAT I DRANK IN THAT PARTY, I'M SORRY, OKAY?! I just want to be me. Does it take you 18 years to figure out who I am?! When will you understand that I'm not the person you want me to be?" I yelled and stood up. "Did you try to find Olivia? Making you burn yourself in that church? Why did you do that? Why? Why do you want to put yourself in danger for a slut like Olivia?!" he asked and I feel anger boiling my blood. "A SLUT?! THAT WHAT YOU THINK OLIVIA IS?! I'm sorry dad, but there's something special about Olivia to me." I said. "What? You like her or something?!" he asked. "I do like Olivia yes, you can't change that. Let me tell you something." I said and took a deep breath before telling him. "I'm gay." I said. "You what?!" he asked and took a step towards me. "I'm gay, that's what I want to tell you since a long time a go. You can't change who I am. You can't--" I was about to finish but he cut me off. "GET OUT. GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN." He yelled and I walked out slamming the door of his office. I got upstairs to my room and get things I needed. I grabbed a small suitcase and throw clothes in it. I zipped it up and realized my backpack, laptop and phone isn't here. Bailey's house. All I needed was my backpack. I grabbed my guitar case and as well as a box I had kept since 6th grade. My journals. I took a paper and wrote a long ass letter. I went downstairs and Tristan saw me. "Lauren. Where are you going?" He asked and I shrugged. "Dad kicked me out." I said and hugged him. "I wish I can stay, T. But I can't. Will you... Will you give Olivia this box?" I asked and handed him the box. "Yeah. Please take care of yourself, Lauren. I don't want you to get hurt." He said and I smiled before walking out. "I love you, Tristan. Thanks for being a great brother." I said and I looked back, Tristan had a unreadable emotion. I don't know where I suppose to go. Maybe a place not so crowded. I don't know.

- Olivia -

I heard a knock on the door and I opened it, it was Tristan. "Hey, Tristan." I said. "Hey, Olivia. I'm here just to give you something Lauren wanted to give to you." He said. Why can't Lauren give it herself? "Where is she, Tristan?" I asked. "All I can tell you is that she doesn't live here anymore." He said and gave me the box before walking back to his house. What does he mean she doesn't live there anymore? Did she get kicked out? It's only been a week since she and I got together! I went up to my room and locked the door before sitting down on the edge of the bed. I opened the box and it contained few journals and a piece of paper. It was a letter.

Hey Olivia. Babe. You're wondering why Tristan gave you this and not me. To be honest, I really want to give it to you myself, but I don't want you to run away with me. I want you to be you. I want you to graduate high school and live your life. I just want to get somethings straight. In this box, there are journals of mine that I kept since 6th grade. Geez it was a long time ago. I want you to read it because everything there tells anything about me and you. How I missed us. Now we're together again, but I have to go. I got kicked out by my dad :(. I really want to stay and cuddle with you anytime I want but I can't. I'm sorry for not saying goodbye to you and I'm sorry that I have to leave. Nothing gold can stay. It was us. Our gold was us. I know you loved the outsiders. That's why I told you to read me the book in the hospital :) Thank you for everything, Ollie. Thank you for being my friend, my best friend and especially, thank you for being my soulmate. Stay gold, Olive. Love, Lauren :)

She got kicked out?! Oh no. Why the hell did she get kicked out?! Damn it. I pulled out one of the journals and read the first entry.

August 5th 2011

Gosh. School just started. 7th grade. First day of middle school. It ain't though will it? I don't know I somehow always liked school. I liked learning. There's one thing I'm missing though. I missed her, journal. I have a new friend called Bailey Anderson, but I missed her. Her name is Olivia Bradley. She didn't leave. God no. It's just... I missed us. She and I used to be friends. We've been friends since we were like in kindergarten. Somehow, she ain't my friend anymore. She's been avoiding me since last year. Why is she avoiding me?! Did I do something to her?!

And it ends there. I flipped to another random page and read it.

February 14th 2012

Valentine's Day. The day I will be lonely. Just Netflix and myself. I wished I had someone cuddling with me here and watch movies with me. Surely I have my best friend, Bailey, but she's probably doing the same. There's one girl that I want to hold in my arms and watch a movie with. Olivia Bradley. I know I'm 13 and so is she, but I want to cuddle with her. Just her and I. Little do I know, I'm in love with her. I love her. Not just as a friend, but I really love her. I always have. I want to admit it to her, but I can't. She has this guy called Steven Meyers. She's happy with him. I guess. She keeps me up at night for sure. Thinking about things that me and her used to do keeps me up at night. Especially a night like this. Where everyone is out with their loved ones, I'm here in my bedroom watching movies. I'm gonna end it here. Hope tomorrow is different.

She thinks that I was happy with Steven?! Hell no. I was never happy with him. I was happy with her. I want her to come back. I want her in my arms. It's too late. She was in love with me since the beginning. So was I. I was in love with her. I was in love with her eyes, with her. I love her.

Not sure if things will be different in a couple years, but I want her to come back soon. Or she will keep me up at night.

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A/N Yo! This is the last chapter. The next book is set 2 years after this happened. I'm gonna go now. Maybe an epilogue after this. idk.