pastel [3]

one

READ MY STORIES COLD FEET [1] AND DEAD OR ALIVE [2] BEFORE READING THIS.

CONTAINS SPOILERS!

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taehyung's point of view

It was strange to feel human again. Over the time spent away from this world I hadn't noticed how dull most of my emotions had become, swept up in lust and agony that became my very existence. It hadn't occurred to me that in all that time I had never felt the depth of the rest of my emotions, instead shallow wisps of grief and loss swirled in with fleeting moments of joy.

Now I felt it. Standing back on earth, met with a door slammed in my face by someone who I had once held and spoken to with such tenderness. The one who I had torn apart.

Guilt, longing, sorrow, anger, shame, hope, it was all too much. I felt that drowning sensation overtake again, like each breath I took filled my lungs not with oxygen but water from the ocean's wrath.

With each gasped inhale for breath I reached out to rest a hand on the door now slammed shut. The brief moment of seeing Jimin, so grown up and rugged looking with longer brown hair and stubble on his chin, it was a dizzying feeling. He looked both outraged and confused by my sudden reappearance

Okay, so maybe I had vanished for ten years. But it wasn't my fault that the time had passed so quickly, hell I didn't even expect to be back here. When I fell off that balcony it was with the intention of never seeing any of them again.

Except now I stood here in the unwavering minutes, mind flailing for breath over each crashing wave of conflict that I couldn't escape.

When no one returned to the door, it made my next movements clear, I needed to leave. There was a worry if I stayed too long it would only heighten those bubbling emotions that were still so apparent in Jimin. So I spun slowly on my heel, taking non-existence steps towards the gate to the new place that Jimin and Jungkook lived in together. Why did he not own his other place anymore? Why was he renting? Why did they have a kid named Taehyung? Was it his kid? Fuck was it their kid?!

So caught up in the thoughts I hadn't actually moved at all, nor had I noticed the door reopening until a high pitched voice grounded me back to my body.

"Big Tae." The young voice and the sweet name brought a trembling smile to my lips as I turned to see little Taehyung standing at the door looking up at me with eyes that reflected the stars I used to gaze upon."Why does uncle Jimin not like you?" Not theirs! My mind internally shouted, verbalising a deep sigh of relief as I lowered myself down to his level. The moment I invited his attention he ran closer, getting up in my face and clinging to my hair that still glowed its signature gold.

"Me and your uncle have had a few... difficulties in our lives, so I need leave you now." The younger grabbed my arm, bringing me into a hug. I didn't know how to react after not having felt such a sweet feeling of affection in so long. The waves inside crashed against my eyes, spilling over the edge into tears that fell so much easier.

I forgot how fragile it feels to be alive.

"I don't want you to go Taehyung." He whispered into my shirt, gripping tighter when I tried to pull back.

"I have to Tae. Maybe I will see you again sometime." His eyes lit up and he smiled.

"Yes! You can pick me up from school when uncle Jungkook can't!" I bit my lip at the mention of his name, shaking my head.