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You Hide and I Seek

It was late, and I mean late. It was nearing four in the morning and there was one thing bothering me more than it should have. Kaname still hadn't come back from his 'walk' and I was getting anxious. Did someone finally kill him off? Was he running away? Was he secretly a drug dealer?!

I was trying to humor myself so I wouldn't be so worried or anything but my mind was just reeling in different scenarios. Could he be out with someone? It was possible, seeing as how he was a prince and a vampire. Everyone wanted a vampire, the prince part was just icing on top.

And then you had me. I could care less if I ever had anyone by my side so I was different there. No one ever really paid me much attention in all honesty. I was different, so why would they? But as I got older, and my looks started coming closer and closer to those of the vampires, people started noticing me more. Girls would try to get with me, they would flirt and try different things to even get me to spare them a second glance, but I never really felt the need to. I was waiting for something, something to catch my eye, something I wouldn't be able to get away from even if I tried so hard. I would be forever chained to the person.

However this is not what I meant by that. I didn't mean being held hostage and being forced to marry someone just because of who we were. I wanted to meet someone, get to know them, decide to do it on our own time instead of being told that we had to. I didn't like being told what to do, I never had. And then we had my next issue.

When I thought about marrying said hostage holder, I wasn't that against it. I found myself, very recently, feeling slightly okay with the whole idea. Of course I wasn't the one who had to possibly bare someone's children. He would've been a lot more okay with the idea if I'd been a woman. Then he wouldn't have to worry about it. Again, did he actually even want to be king? Who would want to take on that responsibility, especially when you have a successful business to look after as well. I hated the idea of making him give up everything he'd worked for. I know that he could have anything he wanted as long as he asked for it, hell he could take it and no one would probably spare him a second glance about it.

And being king of the entire vampire race? That sounded almost impossible to successfully. I would never be able to do that. But wait, Aren't I supposed to be the one being the king? I didn't want to do that, so was there a way to run away from this? Who knew, but what I did know was that no one was supposed to be walking through the halls at this time, so I walked out of my room and glared at the culprit.

"And just where exactly have you been all fucking night?" I asked indifferently. There weren't many lights on in the hall but I could tell it was him from a mile away. I heard him stop and then he moved and the curtains over the large window rustled. "Oh my god I know it's you, Kaname." I deadpanned and he sighed. "Why do you reek of teenage girl?"I ask while grimacing.

"Why do you reek of..... Really good blood? Wait- goddammit never mind." He said and I snorted.

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked, slightly amused.

"To most people it would have been." He informed while untangling himself from the large curtain. I chuckled. "Why are you still up anyway?"

"Aren't vampires nocturnal?" I asked and he groaned which made me smirk. "Anyway, what were you doing? Seeing your girlfriend?" I asked and in the dark, through the slightly dim light coming through the curtain, I seen his red eyes widen. "Oh I was right, I see." I state while smirking deeply, though I winced when I realized that was what he was doing. "I didn't really peg you for a guy that would manipulate a little human girl into pleasing you." I said. 

"She's not human, and I didn't manipulate anyone into anything." He retorted defensively. "I'll have you know that she just so happens to like me a lot and respects me unlike someone else I know." 

"Then marry her if you don't like me!" I shouted, even though I didn't mean to. I didn't understand why it seemed to just eat at me, the words he said about her as if she was just the greatest thing to walk this earth. "I wouldn't want to inconvenience you." I spat and walked back into the room I'd been staying in and slammed the door. Why was I getting so worked up about this? I couldn't care less about him and yet I was feeling slightly jealous. I exhaled deeply and made the decision that it wasn't good for me to be there. Who did I think I was anyway coming here and agreeing to marry him. But when did I agree to it fully? 

I grabbed the duffel bag that I had brought with me and started shoving my clothes into it. I didn't want to be here, I didn't want to be near him, I didn't want to smell him, I didn't want to like him. The thing was, I still held an overbearing hatred for the guy. I hated the guy so much that I couldn't even look at him without pointing out the fact that he was the worst person I'd ever had the displeasure of being near. The point was; I hated him. With a passion that burned so high and so hot that I couldn't see passed it without burning my eyes. 

But then you had that one little side that wanted to say that he wasn't that bad. I wanted to kill that part of me that wanted to like him a little bit. I couldn't marry him knowing that he liked someone else. I wasn't like that, I couldn't do that to her or him, or myself. I didn't care much about myself, I hated myself more than anything. I wished upon the stars and whatever gods there may be, and I begged for them to take away this curse but they never listened. It was like I was being punished for something and I didn't know what that was. So when I had grabbed everything that I needed, I walked out of my room. I went straight for the large front doors and I was nearly there when someone stepped in front of me and I glared at him.

"Move." I commanded and he seemed a bit confused.

"Where are you going?" He asked and I rolled my eyes before trying to get around him again. "Tell me and I might let you go."

"I'm leaving, happy now? Now move." I repeated and he pushed me back with his hand.

"Why- why would you be leaving?" He asked and I looked at him incredulously. "But you have no reason to leave?" He asked rather than stated and I was beginning to feel something inside of me that I hadn't felt in a long time, something that typically didn't exist in my life at any point in time and it was something that I was grateful for because of how it felt. It was a horrible feeling that I wasn't even sure how to describe; but it hurt. It hurt so bad, it was the worst pain I'd ever felt for it being not of the physical pain. No, no it was all mental. A skull cracking pain that pounded my head with something that I couldn't escape. I didn't want to leave, this battle had been going on for a while now and I didn't really even know it until now. I hated him, but yet seeing him standing there in front of me, his eyes practically begging me to stay, I felt somewhere inside of me that I couldn't leave him like this. 

"Look," I began quietly with the fear that my voice would fail me if I tried to talk with a strong voice. "I've realized that I'm just not cut out for something like this. That girl, whoever she may be, would be a better option for you anyway." I informed and he was staring at me with wide eyes and I knew that if I kept looking into them I would definitely not be able to look away and walk away. 

"What? No don't do that." He said after a minute. "Don't think like that, don't like leave."

"Why not?" I asked, curious as to why he was trying to stop me when he was so against it before. He shrugged and I raised an eyebrow. "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?" I asked and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about, but you're not leaving so yeah. Goodnight." He said and walked away. I gave one last look at the door and then I sighed, knowing that I wouldn't be able to leave now. I looked at his retreating form. 

"You hide, and I'll seek?" He chuckled and walked out of sight. 

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