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Here I Am

I set my bag down on the floor of the small house that we had arrived at. It was cozy, much different from what I had become used to over the past month or so. The palace was huge, my room possibly being bigger than this house, compared to this. While Kaname was unloading the rest of our things, I decided to explore the place a little more.

I walked in through the living room that was rather small and had a comfortable looking cough sitting in front of a fireplace that was lighting the room softly. I passed through there and into a kitchen that was nothing fancy but it was efficient. After that, I entered the hallway where I passed by a small bedroom, an office to which I chuckled because I knew he would be there working at one point, and then at the end was a particularly large bedroom with a large, soft looking bed residing casually in the middle.

The room was well decorated with a few things on the wall and a dresser sitting in a corner, but other than that it was rather plain. It was adorned with another warm fireplace to give the room an intimate feeling. My heart lurched into my throat at the feeling I got by this room. Were we expected to actually engage in those kinds of activities? Or would they know the difference?

"I see you've claimed the big room, then." Kaname said from the door as he set my suitcase down. He wasn't mad, no, he had a fond smile playing at his lips that made my heart flutter in its cage like a rabid butterfly. My confusion, however, must have been rather obvious. "I can't imagine that you wanted to share a room."

"Why not?" I blurted out without thinking. His perfectly sculpted eyebrow raised a bit, and his face showed amusement while he watched me. I could almost imagine how pink my cheeks were just by the heat rushing to them.

"Last time I checked, you didn't like me." he joked and I cringed. Sure he wasn't acting like it bothered him that much, but it did bother me to know that he thought I didn't like him. I'd been mulling over that whole situation for weeks now.

"I still don't like you." I decided to joke back, although it wasn't what I really wanted to say.

"Ah yes, I remember back when you had first got to the palace." he began, making me furrow my brows. "I don't have to like you, to fuck you. Ring any bells?" I blushed again. God, I didn't think it could get worse than that. I knew the sexual tension was there back when I hated him but now? Oh god did I want him. I just wished, upon a star or whatever I could, that I knew what it was that was going on with me.

It was like I craved him. I wanted him more than I wanted to be human again, I wanted him more than a starving man desired food. We stood there in silence, me looking at him with a longing that I didn't know existed inside of me. Him leaning against the door frame, his arms crossed in a way that only he could pull off, his head cocked to the side so that it could rest against the wood trim as well, his soft, fond smile on his face as he looked at me. It was all so overwhelming in a sense, and yet it was just enough.

I could almost swear that I had been given some kind of love potion, but even in this world, that kind of stuff didn't exist. I played with the small ring that adorned my left hand, on the finger next to the pinky and the middle finger. It felt so real, so pure, so raw in a sense. Like it was all there at once and nothing else was there to pollute what we had.

It was like the whole arranged thing wasn't even there. It was like we wanted this ourselves and we were those star crossed lovers that were too nervous to initiate our desires for one another. But oh god, did I want to. He finally pushed off from the door frame and picked up my suitcase once again, walking by me and setting it by the bed.

"Well, I'm sure that you're tired so I'll leave you to it." he said before starting to walk out of the room. I wasn't quite thinking straight, I don't think, when I reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his button down shirt that he had worn during our wedding. He seemed almost as shocked as I was at my actions. But then he smiled softly again, my heart melting at the sight, and he turned to me. He brought a hand to my cheek gently and looked into my eyes with those reddish brown orbs of his that I could get lost in if I dared to explore them. He leaned down slightly, with our height differences in account, and our lips softly touched again for the second time.

It was like a fire was lit inside of me, whether it be the nervousness or the actual feeling of him making me nearly go insane. My arms reached up to clutch his neck and bring him closer to my body and deepen the kiss. We backed up a bit, albeit a little sloppy, and he turned us around. He picked me up gently and sat on the bed, me now straddling his hips as we kissed slowly, passionately and gentle. God he felt so good against me.

I started with his shirt, unbuttoning them each slowly and as steady as I could. I slid the fabric from his shoulders and I reveled in the sensation of his smooth skin. As all the stress had piled on me, I had neglected to notice just how beautiful he was to me. I wanted everything of him. I didn't want any one to have a piece of him. He was mine and there wasn't anything that could convince me otherwise.

The kiss was halted as I simply looked at him. I ran my hand gently down his torso, a ghost of a touch as he sat there. He shivered at my touch and I wanted nothing more than to feel him come apart below me. Somewhere in the mix of things, I had grown fond of his shitty attitude and rather innapropriate irritability. I had come to love the little quirks he had, his mildly adventurous side that I wamted to explore. His rather rough demeanor that could be gentle and kind if needed. His selfish ways that somehow pointed back to absolutely selfless. His stone cold face that showed no emotions normally showcased his eyes that held every emotion in the world.

God, I could go swimming in thise pools of color. And so I connected our lips once again, pushing him further down until his back was against the soft sheets and my shirt was discarded as well. We fumbled with the rest of our clothes, but they were done away with which earned a nervous giggles as one would struggle or someone would do something embarrassing.

However, even with that and our normal tendency to bicker or make fun, we still kept our eyes on one another. I was a bit hesitant to continue when we were all but completely naked and about to insert myself into the man below me.

"Its okay, we'll get through it." he told me gently and I exhaled, placing myself at his entrance and beginning to push in. His face morphed into one of discomfort and he grunted a bit. I knew this was a new thing for him, and I was patient with him. When I knew he had become a little more comfortable I began to thrust slowly until he begged me to quicken my pace.

I felt the familiar feeling pool up in my lower regions, the pit of my stomach where it was a warm sensation. The feeling of my muscles tensing as his soft pants and tight grips became more constant. It was when he climaxed and clenched around my length that I felt it all be let go at once. I let myself fill him up before he brought me down for another kiss.

I removed myself from his body and fell down beside him. We laid there for a while, maybe an hour, before we did anything else. He looked over at me with a lazy grin and for some reason I just knew what was coming next. He crawled slowly on top of me, my breath catching in my throat once again as I took in the sight above me. We continued that way, with him on top of me this time.

It was like he cherished my body, used it like a temple to confess his darkest sins. I could have never asked for another person to use me like he did. The only thing I could say, was what I did.

Here I am.