Step-Brothers (n.s)

28 | Niall

I recommend you listen to Unsteady by X Ambassadors and for Harry's Say Something by A great big world.
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Never in a million years would I ever imagine myself getting on that plane and leaving everything I've worked so hard to get. It's funny in a way that you can love someone so much but give that up so easily. It wasn't easy though, and I don't think I've ever done something so damaging and heartbreaking in my life.

I couldn't do it, I couldn't tell my dad. So as soon as Harry feel asleep that Friday I went to my dad's room and lost myself on the way there. I ended up at the hotel pool, and really couldn't bring myself to find the courage to actually go talk to him.

Some would call me a coward, and some would say I'm doing the right thing. After Harry said he has no intention of marriage in the future, that even broke me down more. I'm doing this for myself, but really all I have been doing is moping around for the past week.

I've cried myself to sleep all week, and I've been just laying in bed all day to begin with. I don't know when the last time I ate, and really I don't even have an appetite to begin with. It's a horrible state I am in, but honestly I can care less.

I'm ashamed and guilt has been eating me alive, that I couldn't push myself for what I want. The only thing I left Harry was a scrubby old letter, that I too even regret leaving him with.

The knock on my door got me sitting up straight, and seconds later my mum comes in with a smile. As soon as she sees me laying in bed, she frowns.

"Ni, you've been in your room all week. What's up? I'm worried, you haven't been eating and god you stink." She walks in further opening the window, and turning in my fan to let the air circulate.

"It's difficult." It's all I answer with, I don't even know if I want to explain myself to her. Knowing her, she'll probably dig it out of me.

"Anne called." As soon as the name Anne comes out of her mouth I snapped my head towards her. My heart sped faster, and my mind is racing.

"Oh yeah?" I play off. "What'd she say?"

"She told me Ni." My head falls into my hands, never in a trillion years would I think Anne and my mum talked on the phone like in-laws. "You can't let your father control how you're going to live your life. You're a grown man, and it's not like your related in anyway."

"What if he disowns me." The croak in my voice swallows me under and I feel like my whole world is crashing down. I'm going to cry, but really that's all I have been doing.

"Niall.." She trials coming over to my side of the bed and bringing me into her arms. "Your father loves you, and if he's still the man I know he's not going to do such a thing."

I nod my head, because yes my dad has fought for me through thick and thin. I wouldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for him.

"Do you love Harry?" I look up at me mum, as she's wiping away the gained tears on my cheeks.

"I do mum." She smiles wide at me.

"Well I think you've got your answer." I raise an eyebrow at her, confused and unanswered to her statement.

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{Harry's}

The ache in my chest is still there, and I'm trying to move on from whatever game he had me playing. The way he left, and the way he hurt me no person has ever.

I didn't think I could be broken this bad, and here I am; broken. I opened myself up to the one person I've ever trusted in such a long while and he went and did the worst possible thing he can think of and leave me.

He left a stupid letter that I always seem to be rereading over and over again to try and connect the dots. Try to figure out why he can hurt me in such a way. Maybe I wasn't enough, maybe I wasn't what he was looking for.

It's funny in a way that he was the one that had such a hard time opening up to me but he's the one that left leaving me open and bare. Left me to fend for myself with no one to comfort with.

Gemma and my mum have been hammering, but the doors been locked since the day I got home. Liam, and surprisingly Louis have been here to check up on me. Louis was actually the only one I let in, I thought maybe he had some information about Niall. I was silly to be naive, Louis too was left in the dust just like myself.

I hold the paper note that Niall left me in my hand, that I had found in my suitcase when I got home last week. I bite my lip, and tremble as I read it over again.

I think you'll always be the one. No matter how much I'm going to try push you out of my brain, and try to move on. I'm doing this for myself, I need to still be apart of something and with that I'm choosing family. I'm choosing to have my dad's support in school and throughout the rest of my life.

You know this is never hard, and I can't believe I'm doing it myself. I love you so much Harry and I want you to cherish what we had these past couple weeks. I want you to remember the good times, because that's what I'm going to remember. I'm going to remember the first time we fucked all to the time we first made love.

I'm siting here watching you sleep, and damn you look beautiful sleeping peacefully. Each word I write, I'm having a harder time trying to finish what I'm trying to tell you. Saying it is hard, writing it is hard, but thinking about it kills me. I don't want to leave, and I'm not trying to hurt you in anyway, but I need to do this. I can't lose my dad, because I've never had my mum in my life for a long while.

Let Liam take care of you, stop being stubborn and ask him to hang out sometime. Apologize to Louis, he's a funny guy and really I know you two to get along if you try. I swear you two can be partners in crime if you just let him be your friend. Keep Gemma in your life for as long as possible, because your gonna miss those times when your both married with kids and busy schedules(if you even want to get married and have kids). Let Anne know that she's appreciated because that women is gonna love you no matter how much of a jerk you are by heart (I still love the real you though, no matter what). Say hi to my dad for me, and don't forget to treat your self right and take care of yourself. Be safe Harry, I love you.

In the long run, he has no fucking right to give me all this advice. The tears are coming down my face, and it's just making me angry.

My fists are tightening and inside I'm boiling. Before I can hold myself back, I'm bringing my fist into the wall.

I stand there analyzing what I had just done. The tears stopping, and I can faintly hear my mum and Gemma trying to get through the door.

What have I let Niall sculpt me into? How is it possible for someone to have so much power of you? It just doesn't make sense.

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YOOOOO, how did you guys like the chapter?