Until We Fly: The Guardian Legacy

Chapter 20: Farewells

I was alone, lying in silence on my old bed as I stared at the rays of light, blooming from behind the lonely...now mended curtains.

Just...just how many times had I done that?
Simply lay there, on my bed, light leaking through the window, feeling broken.

Too many times.
Far too many times.

Natalie...
The beautiful, kind lady who had bore on the burden of my life.
Who had brought me into this world, shown me this world.
Given me my hopes, my dreams, my aspirations.
Gifted me the wonderful honour of a once happy family.
Cared for me, taught me, loved me.

And how had I repaid her?

By refusing to even refer to her as my mother.

Mum...I'm so sorry...

You're with your daughter now.
Love her like you lost the chance to before.
Love her...like you've loved me...
And never will again...

"James? You should get dressed now, okay? We're leaving in ten minutes."

Strange.
The last funeral I had to attend was my sisters.
And now the world was cruel enough to steal my mother too?

I felt so...empty. So hollow.
Like a blank canvas with no paints.
Only tainted, black inks to damage and stain the white surface.

Letting my face turn to the side, I stared at the black suit resting on my wardrobe door.
Freshly washed and ironed.
Black like tainted inks.
Black like Darkness scars.

It...wasn't fair...

I hadn't seen Köleil or Nim or anyone in over a week.
I refused to.

I hadn't left my room.

It was just the same old routine.

Lose something, cry, lock myself away.

Same old routine...
Same old room, same old bed, same old sheets.

...same old me?

I forced myself up, my entire body aching as I began to change.

No.
This wasn't James.
This was a wreck, an excuse of a human being.

I stared back at my reflection as I did my tie.
Dark circles tracing my eyes, pale skin, messy hair.
I kind of looked like...

"...you're almost starting to look like me..."
Mumbled a familiar voice.

And sure enough, as I turned around, there she was.
Hands behind her back, looking across at me.
Her expression...
Not smiling.

But not sadness...no...
It was pity.

"...what?"
I grumbled, my throat sore.

"I just...wanted to check up on you. Nobody has seen you at all. We're all worried."

"They've no need to be. Now leave. I have to-"

"I know where you're going...and...I can't imagine that being easy. For anyone."

"Oh really?"
I scoffed.

"...I...don't want you to be alone..."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that, if you want...I could go with you. It'd be easier."

"And you don't think anyone will question a black-eyed, gravity-defying girl with me?!"

"No. They won't."

I didn't care anymore.
Fine. Let her make a mistake.
Let her get seen and captured by the military or whatever.