A Different Fate (After Allegiant-Divergent)

Prologue

~TOBIAS'S POV~

I sit on my bed in the Bureau of Genetic Welfare. Even though I own an apartment with Evelyn, I like to come here. It's the last place where Tris was alive, so it really makes this place very important to me. I made it so that only I'm allowed in this room. I have a paging system if someone wants me, but I have this room under lock and key. This room is the place where we all lived during the fiasco of what my mom called a "revolution". But this room is the place where Tris and I lived together. This room is where we had our first, and last, intimate moment. This room is the last place she slept. The bed, the bed right across from mine, was her's. Is her's. I try to make it seem that she is still alive, if I don't, I cry, and I can't cry now. It's been two years, it'd be stupid for me to cry, in front of people. Sometimes I just have those days where I come in here and look at her bed and just sob. 

I don't dare touch her bed. It has been left they way she left it two years ago, but sometimes I will go through her drawers and run my finger's over her clothes. Sometimes I'll even smell them, trying to remember the way she always smelt when she hugged me. Other times, I'll try remembering what she looked like. I haven't seen her in two years, and I'm beginning to hate myself that I'm forgetting what she looked like. She was, is, my first and last love. I keep saying I'll never forget her, but I'm beginning to. Why can't I remember her? I can't remember her touch, I can't remember most of her facial features, I can't remember the pressure of her lips against mine, her fingers intertwined with mine. I wonder if she's still with me? Sometimes, when I'm in here all alone, I feel like she's here with me. Like she's looking over my shoulder, or pacing on the other side of the room, like she always does when she had something on her mind.

Sometimes I think, if she were still here, would we be married? I mean, most people marry between the ages of 18-25 because, now a days, no one knows how long anyone is going to live. I think we'd still be together. I mean, Tris is a very stubborn girl, and we have our ups and downs, but I don't think anyone could handle her other than me. They wouldn't know how she works, because they didn't see her turn from a Stiff to a hero. They didn't see her turn from a shy, weak girl, to a brave, loving one. They didn't see her develop, I did. She's mine, and I'm her's, and it's been that way all along. It will always be that way.

I get up and I walk over to her dresser and open a drawer. I pull out one of her Abnegation shirts that Caleb gave me today. He said he found it in her room, left over from when she transferred. I thanked him then ran staright here and put it in her dresser, folding it Abnegation style, just like she would've. I will never change that about me. I will cut my hair Abnegation, fold my clothes Abnegation, eat my food Abnegation. Just like she would've. I bring the shirt up to my nose and I smell it. It smells like her, or what i remember her smelling like. Then chills run up and down my body and I feel like there's someone in the room with me. I turn around and I see no one. This is what I mean when I say I feel like she's here, like she never left. I, of course, keep this to myself. I feel like it's my secret relationship with my ghost girlfriend. But I know I'm probably just hallucinating, ghost's don't exsist. 

I fold up her shirt and put it away and sit back down on my bed and look at her empty, unmade bed. I then look down and see her tiny shoes that could only fill her feet. I smile, she was so tiny, so fragile, I felt like everytime I touched her, she would break. I look back up at her bed. Sometimes, when I get my chills, I talk to her, as if she's listening. It makes me feel like I'm not alone when I talk to her bed. I then feel the chills run down my spine again. It's time to talk.

"Hey, Tris," I begin. "If you're there, I want you to know that I still miss you like crazy, and that I still love you. I wish you could be here still, but I know why you did what you did, and I think it was a brave decision. I know I've already told you that, but it's true. You were the true meaning of Dauntless, a hero. My hero." I then stop. I want to say something, that I've held in for so long, but I'm afraid that if I say it, I won't be able to sleep again. I'm just starting to sleep again, I don't want to lose that privilage, but this is for Tris. Anything for Tris.

"You were everyone's hero. I know that you regretted so much the short time you were away from your home, and your family, but I home that you know that no one's forgotten about you, at least I haven't. How could I forget about you? But I want you to do me a favor for me, if you can hear me." I take a deep breath, here goes nothing. "Can you tell Uriah that I'm so sorry I killed him?" I haven't said his name since we dumped his ashes in the Chasm. "I know tht if you were here you'd yell at me, saying I didn't kill him, but I still think I did it. I was apart of the whole thing and, just tell him I'm sorry. He shouldn't have died, it's not fair that he died, just-," I cut off, a tear rolling down my cheek. "He was my responsibility, and I let Zeke down. I know Zeke has forgiven me, but I haven't forgiven myself. So,if you could just let him know-," I get cut off by the pager in the room. I get up and press the button.

"Hey, Tobias," says the voice. It's Christina. "It's time to eat dinner, so if you want to come out, you can. But if you don't, we'll save you a plate," she says. I don't want to leave, but last time I had them save me a plate, it was cold and I had no way to warm it up.

"I'll be out in a minute, wait for me," I say.

"Alright," she says. I turn around and look at Tris' bed.

"I'll see you later, Tris," I say. Then I walk out of the room, locking it up behind me, with the chills running down my spine.

*********

So, this is my first effort of writing a Divergent Fanfiction so please tell me how it is and tell me if anything should be changed. Also, can you guys belive how Allegiant ended? I CRIED FOR THE LAST 6 CHAPTERS AND THE EPILOGUE!

Love, Bookjunkie001