A Different Fate (After Allegiant-Divergent)

Chapter 3

~TOBIAS'S POV~

I wake up, drenched in sweat. Last night was crazy. I don't know how much of it was real, and the rest a dream. I felt a surge of power go through me last night, but that was just the beginning. Then I felt like someone touched me, but no one was there. At first, I thought it was my blanket, but then I felt it again. I felt like it was Tris. This is the part where it felt like a dream. I felt pressure against my lips. A kiss, is really what it was. But it wasn't just any kiss. It was Tris' kiss. I would know it anywhere. I could know with my eyes closed. Even though it has been two years since my lips have touched her lips, I still know the pressure she used when she kissed me. I miss her so much. I really do hope that was her last night, because I can phsically start to feel myself fall into a depression.

But I can't think of that right now. I need to get ready and clear my mind of everything, because I'm about to get very frustrated. Once I week, I volunteer to teach the people that got affected by the memory serum to learn to be human again. Trust me, it can be annoying. Right when I get there I have to make sure they know their names, then they need to know my name, then we go over everything they should know. But lets just say it takes me at least an hour to make sure everyone gets their names correct.

I drag myself over to the bathroom where I take a longer shower than I need to clear my mind of last nights events, then I make my way over to the sink where I look in the mirror. I look at myself. I've lost weight, I'm pale, I have bags under my eyes, and I look sick. I'm so miserable without Tris, that I've become lost. It's been two years, I should be getting my act together. She's gone, but I still haven't accepted the fact yet. I can't get over the fact that the young woman I love is now gone. It's been two years, but I can't get over that fact. I need to get over that fact. I mean just looking at myself makes me sick. 

But, stuff like that takes time. But one thing I can say is that I didn't know how much I really loved her until she died. I remember when I figured out what happened to her. I just stood there, frozen as a statue, not believing what was real. I didn't believe it until I saw her. I didn't eat, didn't sleep, just sat there in utter disbelief. For a while, I believed it was my new fear landscape. I still hope it is. If it is, this is a really long one. But I know it isn't. You know that age old saying, really is true. You don't know what you got until it's gone.

I just shake my head to clear my thoughts. I'm already late, and if I don't get there soon, who knows what I'll find. I go and put on my black pants and black t-shirt, and look in the mirror one more time, making sure my Abnegation style haircut looks alright. It's getting long, so I'll need to cut it when i come back, but right now I'm ten minutes late. I walk as fast as I can without running, because it's apart of the rules here, to the fountain. Well not really the fountain, but where the tank is where it drips onto a boulder to show change over time. It's eroded a lot since Tris was here. I remember how interested she was in it. She seemed to find peace and serenity when she was here. Now, I do to.

When I get there, I see most of them wandering aimlessly around, being controlled by the other volunteers. I really don't want to be here. I want to be back, and locked in that room. Our room, the one I shared with Tris. I don't just want to go back, i want her back. I want all of it to be different. I want to just be with her, and start a fmaily with her, and grow old with her...

"Alright, everyone, come in the middle," I announce. Slowly they all make their way into the middle. "Let's start out by getting to know each other. Say your name and something about you that you can remember.  I'll start, I'm Tobais and I like chocolate cake. We willl go to my left." I nudge the next person.

"My name is...Pete?" asks Peter, looking at me for approval. I shake my head.

"Close, closer than you were last week," I say. He thinks for a minute then looks at me and shakes his head. "Just say the name you said again and add an 'r'." He nods his head.