A Different Fate (After Allegiant-Divergent)

Chapter 2

~TRIS'S POV~

I lay next to Tobias in his bed, as he cries himself to sleep, as he does almost every night since he's gotten rid of my ashes. But tonight, it's different because he's in the Bureau, and he's a mess when he comes here. I feel bad for him. I feel bad for leaving him. I know I had the choice whether to stay or leave, but I felt that it'd be better for myself if I left. If I stayed, I probably would've died anyways, or at least be handicapped for life. But I now wish I would've stayed. I thought all of our friends would help him, but it seems that they now overlook him now that I'm gone. Like I was the glue that bonded them together.

I start to rub his back. I can feel his warm skin under my transparent hand. I can feel him, but I don't know if he can feel me, but I don't care. As long as he feels I'm here with him, that's all that's important. I cuddle up close next to him. I miss him so much. I wish there was a way to reverse time so I never made the decision to sacrifice myself for Caleb. I mean I would do it again, but I thought I was going to come out of there alive, not a ghostly figure.

My mother is a bit furious with me right now. She wanted me to completely pass over right when I died and I declined. I told her to wait until Tobias got rid of my ashes, but it's been two weeks and I'm still in the in-between world, as Uriah calls it. So my mother passed over without me, but she's such a strong spirit, she can come to the in-between world as she pleases, same with my father. It's great to be with my parents again, but I still wish it was in real life.

I feel alone here at times in the in-between stage. I still have Uriah, Marlene, Fernando, Al and Tori, but that's it. I know it seems like a lot, but it's little compared to what I had before I died. Uriah is refusing to pass over because he wants to watch over Zeke. Of course Marlene was furious because she wanted him to pass over with her, but now they have both decided to stay in the in-between stage. Tori wanted to watch over George or "Georgie" as she calls him. Al stays for me. We are on good grounds now, and he is also such a strong spirit that he can cross over as he pleases. And Fernando is also here for me. He missed me and said I was "the most awesomeist person he's ever met". Whatever floats his boat, I guess.

Marlene told me that Lynn stayed in the in-between stage for a while, until Uriah came, and Marlene melted into his arms again. She left immediately, and Uriah then had to explain to her that Lynn really loved her. She was shocked and crossed over to find Lynn, but I guess she refused to speak to her, and they haven't seen her since.

They were all shocked when I got here, and they respect my privacy when I come to Tobias. They called me brave, I just called myself nice. I got rid of my selfishness, and now I'm dead. I'm a ghost laying next to Tobias who is bawling harder than I think he's ever bawled. This is going to be a long night for the both of us, since I don't leave his side until he falls asleep, and well a spirit has got to sleep to.

But tonight, all I care about is trying harder to communicate with Tobias. I get up and kneel down by his face. My father told me if I concentrate hard enough, he will be able to feel my touch. I've been trying, but I guess all he is getting are the shivers, not a real touch. I focus and stroke his face. He doesn't even flinch. Damn it. One more try, this time I'm going to use al of my energy. It's dangerous to use all of your energy, but this is for Tobias. Anything for him. I try again, and he leans up. He felt me.

"Tris?" he asks.

"I'm here," I say, grabbing his hand. He pulls back, he must still feel me. "I'm here," I say again. He still just looks around with his red, tear swollen eyes. If only he could hear my. "I'm here Tobias, and I won't be leaving you anytime soon." I lean in and kiss him. He then puts his fingers up to his lips. He still feels me. This is phenomenal. I found a way to get to him.