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Hayden glances at his watch, the seconds ticking by so slowly that it makes him more aware of how fast his heart is actually beating. He groans quietly to himself, his eyes looking around to see if anyone's around to hear him. But the library is empty, except for a couple of last-minute stragglers who are checking out books to research projects that were due the next day, and a group of students at the other end of the room, seated at a large round table. Hayden assumes it's a study group or just a bunch of class A nerds whose idea of an after-school hangout was to have a meeting in the school library.
He shakes his head, realizing he can't judge them because A) judging people was bad and B) he's basically doing the exact same thing - meeting someone in the library, hours after classes had been dismissed for the day. He sighs, running his fingers through his hair and looking down at the book in front him. The leather bound edition lies open on the table, still stuck on the same page that it was on when Hayden first cracked it open an hour ago. He hasn't read a single word, impatience and slight anxiety getting in the way of his focus. He hated waiting and it really didn't help that the someone he was waiting for was Eileen.
He cracks a smile just thinking of her, though he doesn't know why the mere thought of seeing her makes him so happy and nervous at the same time. Ever since he offered to help her catch up on all the homework she'd been slacking on, he'd been eager to get started on their tutoring sessions (as she'd put it), but also worried that he wouldn't be capable of teaching her properly.
He rolls his eyes, finally pulling his fingers out of his hair and shaking his head, as if trying to shake the nervousness away. It was just Eileen, after all. If anything, it should be her who was nervous out of the two of them. She often was, anyway, and it flattered Hayden quite a bit that Eileen held him in such a high regard that she was so shy and jittery around him. She was hella cute too, capable of balancing the art of being flustered and flirtatious at the same time, and Hayden found that he was enjoying her company more and more.
An intrusive thought crosses his mind at that moment, forcing him to consider the possibility that maybe it's not just about liking Eileen's company, but about him liking her. Hayden can practically feel his face drooping at the thought, his cheeks relaxing as his smile disappears. He'd avoided having serious relationships for as long as he could remember, choosing instead to focus on school, sports, and friends. But if he were to face these potential feelings, he was sure that he couldn't just play around with Eileen - not when she clearly cared about him so much.
Scenario after scenario runs through his head as he imagines all the different things that liking Eileen and pursing her could lead to. He cringes at the possibility of hurting her and sighs, defeated. He couldn't let feelings get in the way of the friendship they'd just started to form; it's too early, too soon.
Hayden exhales again, leaning back into his chair and willing himself not to think about her in that way. Just as he calms down, Eileen comes from around one the shelves, books in hand and her hair tied up in a messy bun. She's spitting out apologies, telling him she'd been stuck in yet another detention and she's so sorry that he had to wait for her.
Hayden's resolve weakens, seeing how obvious her concern is, and he wants nothing more than to reassure and tell her that everything is alright; that he'd have waited for her as long as he needed to, as cheesy as that sounds. Instead, he settles for a simple reply, telling her everything is okay and that they should get started.
She takes a seat next to him, opening up her notebooks and pulling out a few pencils, lining them up neatly side by side. She turns to him, shyness all over her face, and quietly says, "Sorry if I took so long that you missed me." She offers him a flirty, front-tooth smile as she shifts in her chair, subtly moving closer to him.
Hayden's eyes follow the movement, as he slowly responds with, "Don't worry, I didn't." He smiles with the corner of his mouth, continuing to stare, even as she finally breaks eye contact and starts to organize her papers.
As Hayden looks on, he wonders why he even wants to fight this - this attraction he has towards her.
Eileen can feel his gaze on her but she doesn't speak; instead, she starts to write out some notes she missed during class, humming quietly. Hayden hears it, his smile widening and deciding right then that he shouldn't bother fighting a battle he knows he can't win.
He feels the decision he'd made earlier slip away from his mind completely as he tries to ease his chair closer to her, hoping she won't notice.
She does.
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