miss me or not

r e h e a r s a l

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Eileen runs a hand through her hair, expertly combing it out before tying it up with one of the loose hair ties on her wrist. She pulls on the ponytail, tight enough that she feels the roots tugging on her scalp. She loves doing that though, because the pinch that she feels on the skin of her face forces her to focus. And she needs that right now.

She breathes out, looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror and trying to calm down. The nervous expression on the face that stares back at her is obvious, and she tries to smile, but it comes out looking wrong and too forced. She exhales again, pushing the air out between her teeth then turns the faucet on, splashing cold water on her face. Just as she's using a napkin to soak up the water droplets, her best friend runs into the washroom, calling her name. The blonde is sweaty, her hair in disarray, but Eileen knows that her friend's messy state means she's just performed her dance onstage. With her rehearsal finished, she'd come to get Eileen, letting her know it was her turn.

Before walking out of the washroom, Eileen gives her friend a hug, sweat and all. The blonde wishes her luck, knowing her friend is full of anxiety, and then playfully pushes her out the door. Eileen rolls her eyes at her, but calls out a quiet thank you at her friend's everlasting support.

She walks down the hallway, still attempting to even out her breathing as she reaches the door marked Backstage. She doesn't bother hesitating as she pulls it open, greeted by the static of the sound systems and the smell of new microphones and the metal of the instruments. She takes a moment now to watch as everyone rushes about like it's the night of the actual concert. It's not though - just the final rehearsal before winter break. But even Eileen knows that the rehearsals after the break will be even more hectic, as people will have to actually dress up and rehearse as if it was their real performance.

She gazes wistfully at the spotlights above her head, imagining how loud it would be on the night of the actual concert, when she hears her name being called again. She looks up to see the head of the theater department beckoning to her, his beefy hands motioning for her to climb up the stairs and stand behind the stage curtains.

Eileen does as she's told, as fast as she can, almost tripping on her shoelaces. She smiles politely at the teacher, then waits for her cue to walk on stage. She moves forward slightly, trying to see if there's anyone watching this rehearsal. She knows Hayden isn't out there (he told her he had a hockey practice), but she doesn't know if that fact makes her more nervous or less.

Eileen steps back behind the curtain-more than alittle relieved to see that there's only a few people in the auditorium - just as the teacher on the other side of the stage motions for her to step forward. With one final exhale, Eileen walks forward taking her spot in the center of the stage, where a microphone waits.

Eileen knows this is her last rehearsal without her guitar. She'd requested that a background track be played during the first few rehearsals, but once dress rehearsals started, she'd accompany herself. As the music starts playing, she looks straight ahead, grateful that the spotlights shining on her prevent her from focusing on the audience.

As she waits for the cue to start, she puts on a small smile, trying to at least act like she's enjoying herself. It seems like forever before it happens, but finally she hears her starting note.

Eileen opens her mouth and sings, her voice echoing through the auditorium as her mic picks up every note, every syllable, every change in her tone. As she sings, she forgets that she's in front of people, she forgets that this is just a rehearsal, she forgets that she's nervous. She forgets all of that and does what she loves most - focus on the music.

It seems as if the song is over as quickly as it started and Eileen takes a bow. Apparently she misjudged the amount of people that were watching because the applause is louder than she expected from just a few people. She throws in a casual wave as she walks off the stage, grinning when she sees her best friend waiting for her backstage. They squeal and scream at each other, practically creating a scene as they revel in the fact that they're free from rehearsals for the next few weeks.

As they pack up their stuff, getting ready to leave, Eileen pulls out her phone to text Hayden. She's done her rehearsal, and his practice is probably over, so she didn't see why she shouldn't.

I'm back, did you miss me? she types, smiling as she does so.

The reply comes in less than a minute, the notification flashing across her screen tauntingly as if daring her to read it.

nope, you wish, Hayden had sent back, but he'd been waiting for at least an hour now. The first thing he'd done after hockey was check his phone, expecting to see a message from the girl that he liked.

But she didn't need to know that.

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