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Hayden drives slowly through the residential street, the falling snow making it hard for him to see where he's going. Considering how cold it is, he's surprised to see kids running through snowdrifts and their parents laughing with them, as if they don't have a care in the world.
A memory surfaces just then: flashes of red hair - Eileen's - against pristine snow that's almost knee-deep, and the sound of running footsteps and breathless giggles. It's a memory from their senior year of high school, which was almost two years ago. Hayden sighs, missing the times when things were easier, simpler.
Now everything is different. Hayden shakes the thought out of his head, focusing on navigating through the cars that are parked along the side of the narrow road. A lot of the people that live in Eileen's neighbourhood are college students from a school further downtown, but the area provided cheap housing for students in the uptown university as well. Judging by the amount of cars, Hayden suspected someone threw a frat party.
He doesn't dwell on it, though, as he finally reaches Eileen's place. He parks just outside, then trudges through the snowy driveway. Hayden reaches out to press the doorbell, then shoves his hands back in his pockets; it was too cold of a day and he had forgotten to wear gloves. One of Eileen's housemates answers, and she vaguely remembers Hayden from the couple of times he's been here.
He smiles politely at her then walks inside after she tells him Eileen is upstairs in her room. Hayden bounds up the stairs, excited to see his girlfriend again.
"Wait, so why are you moving here again?" Hayden asks, as he brings up one of Eileen's boxes to the room she shares with someone she met from university.
"Because it's more practical," she says with a shrug.
Hayden frowns, a little put off by her answer. "Practical for you," he says and he can hear bitterness in his voice, but he can't help it.
Eileen lets the bag she's carrying fall to the bed, then turns to face him. "Yes, practical for me. It's much closer to campus, and between my classes and work, I can't afford to keep driving in and out of the city and back home." She pauses, the defensiveness leaving her eyes. "I know that means we're further apart, but I hope you understand...."
Hayden stares at her, sighing. "I understand... I just...I'll - " He stops talking, knowing what he wants to say but not bothering to say it. He knows it won't be enough.
Eileen is at her computer desk when Hayden walks in, and she looks up as he closes the door. A flicker of surprise flashes across her face, and Hayden asks if she even remembered he was coming. Eileen quickly smiles and says she couldn't possibly forget. Hayden nods, not believing it, but makes himself comfortable on her bed anyway.
Soon, they're chatting about school, family, a potential night out, some girl from their high school who recently got pregnant, several date ideas (that they quickly vetoed), and another story about some guy in Eileen's music theory class who probably lived under a bridge. All the while, they ignore the fact that they haven't seen each other in several weeks, besides the occasional FaceTime conversations and not quite 24/7 texts.
"Look, we'll make up for it, okay baby?" Hayden says, holding Eileen's hand and rubbing circles on her palm.
She writhes away, pulling her jacket tightly around herself. The wind whips through her hair, and with it comes fallen leaves, coloured by the autumn season.
"That's the fifth date we've had to cancel," Eileen deadpans.
"I know, I know," Hayden says, just as frustrated as she is. "It's just that our schedules never coincide."
"Sure, let's blame that," she retorts, still angry. Hayden can't do anything but pull her in for a hug, and not for the first time, she doesn't return it.
Hayden snaps back to the present, as Eileen talks about how long it's been since they've spent time together. He sighs, rolling over on the bed so he can see her.
Freshman year had been hard for both of them, but they managed. Sophomore year was a different story and they both knew it, but they kept trying. Hayden stares at Eileen, her hair a mess on her head and her fingers typing away at what looks like a long and far-from-finished report.
She turns to him then, still speaking and Hayden forces himself to tune back in. "Yeah, but anyway," Eileen is saying, and a tired smile creeps across her face. "Did you miss me that much, considering we haven't gone out in weeks and we've only talked every other night?"
Hayden tries to smile back, but the reality is that their time together has been too limited, too short, always too little. But just for old time's sake, he returns her smile, muttering, "Mmm, of course not."
This time, he wonders how much of it could be true.
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Back to school tomorrow:(
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