Evanora

Out in The Woods

I step forward but a gentle hand tugs my jacket backwards and I fall behind me on the leafy forest floor with a soft thud. I lean back slowly as his arms slither around my stomach and his hair brushes against mine. I let out a breath, but it was sad. I immediately relaxed backward into his arms, and brought my legs to my chest as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"You don't miss home, do you?" he whispered.

"I am home," I assured him, looking out to Hermione. I was at home wherever they were, I never truly had a real home other than Hogwarts. Hope was lost for me at this point in my life. My days slip by while I just focus on not thinking about the fact that I was no longer hopeful. I did have occasional happiness in shared moments with Hermione, Harry, and Ron, but my usually lasting smile would fade. I gained and lost emotion quicker than usual, like I was exhausted of it. I blamed it on my lack of sleep. I stayed up at nights to guard outside and tried to hide from my own thoughts. Sirius's death had sunken in, and I couldn't cry anymore, but it made me look and feel lifeless and unemotional. I wasn't emotionally unstable at all, actually far more stable than any of them -- but that did not mean that I was in a good state. Daydreams were dull and could be reduced down to the word 'day.' That still made more sense than relating them to anything near a dream of any kind. But, still, I managed. Manage was all I did: think of the most efficient thing to do, do it. Repeat. Sleep during the day, stay awake at night. It did give me time to look at the stars, which I immediately stopped doing because the first night I started to look at the stars and thought too much about what it was like when he was in Azkaban and threw up.

I begun to realize my eyes were trying to roll closed as I fought them.

"Come on, you need sleep," Harry lifted me up and walked me inside. Before I knew it, I was laying down on the uncomfortable cot that felt so comfortable at that moment. I slept all throughout mid-day