Evanora

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It all started during the end of the second film. During the third film, people at my high school started being friends with me, not because of my personality, but because I was famous. At the end of the fourth film, I pushed all my friends away except those that I knew before I became Evanora. The friends that didn't want to take photos with me all the time or wave at the paparazzi were the ones that I kept. I became a bit depressed and started to cling onto my friends on set more than those at school. I started to hate school, and it became a burden. There was nothing good about it. I didn't have many people there that I could trust, but I had tons of people that I could trust on set. So I became friends with them. By the fifth film, when I turned eighteen, I didn't have time to keep going to high school since I was doing a musical as well -- which was insanely fun, and it lightened things up a bit. I discovered some new talents.

Fame began to take it's toll on me, hard. I had to manage and watch Dan deal with the burdens of fame by drinking and smoking. I hated the way being a part of Harry Potter changed so fast from an honor and a living dream to change who I am. I never wanted fame to change me. I never wanted to be wickedly egotistical AND insecure all the time. It was either one of the two when I was around other people. I never wanted to grow up as a spoiled child with piles of money. Sure, it sounds great when you're ten. The money, the fame, the lights, the cameras. . . My mom told me when I was little that fame and money were the least important things in life. I was far to young to understand what she meant, but now I know. When the films started, I loved pretending to be Evanora. Being a witch in the wizarding world is like a dream come true. And it still is amazing. I got to not just meet Joe Rowling, but we're close. She was my inspiration to get through it all because I loved her story. When I was eighteen, I fell in love again. It made fame so much more of a burden when everyone found out. I never cared about the money, ever. Or the attention, god never cared about this much attention. I love the fans, hate the paparazzi. They don't care if they are ruining my life by snapping a single photo. I love being on set. I love acting, singing, dancing, being with Dan, wherever we are, I love talking to the other actors, talking to Joe Rowling about the books. I decided I wasn't going to do the films because of anything else but the fact that I loved acting as Evanora. And i'm so glad I signed up for the next three films.

Everything came crashing down on the famous day when we were in America for a premiere: and either to my delight or to my horror, this premiere was in Florida. I hadn't been back since I left. I was okay everything up to when we got there. I remember thinking: I'm finally back in my home country and it's to step out of a limo, a hundred times more famous than I was when I left this place. I gained a sense of awareness and it felt like I had been punched in my soul when I stepped out of that car and linked arms with Dan. I walked down the long, red carpet, as fans screamed at us so loud but I couldn't hear anything. I just remember looking at all the people around me and thought in my mind. I don't remember the exact words, but I know that it went like this:

I thought about how I grew up in a small neighborhood with just my family and me. I was silly, spontaneous, curious. I saw in my mind vividly a small girl with a purple backpack and dirty jeans, and a pink t-shirt. The little girl had messy, but beautiful dark hair that was straight at the top and curled at the bottom. I walked along the sidewalk down the street in my neighborhood where the bus stop corner was on one end and my house just past another corner at the other end. I looked up and saw it so clearly -- but everything was big because I was so small. And the end of the streets had fog suspending in the air, and everything was covered in dew because of the overnight rain. The sidewalks and the road was a darker color and they had small puddles. I remember thinking that the sidewalk looks like applesauce because it was a beige color. I passed a short brick wall that I used to walk on when I was coming home from school. It started off at ground level, but as the ground curved lower toward the end of the hill, the distance between the brick wall and the floor got bigger and I remembered how I used to jump off the end and into the soft grass. Then I passed a tree that all the neighborhood kids used to climb. It was the perfect tree for climbing, but that morning it was all wet and dewy. The grass had little beads of water on them. I looked left and across the street, where my friend as a child and I would hop the fence of our backyards and we would play. Then I looked ahead of me to my other childhood friend's house, who was a total tomboy. We would catch baby crickets and go on 'frog hunts' and collect toads in a box, and they always peed on my arms. Then, suddenly, I looked around, and my childhood hometown was filled with a million people screaming my name, and I was on a red carpet, with camera flashes everywhere, I was a mess in a dress, and I just thought: "What have I done?" and then everything went black. I woke up and I was on a small cot, and all I saw was the ceiling and Dan, who was holding my hand. I didn't know what was going on, and I looked around, and Joe was wringing her hands and the crew was staring at me, and Rupert gulped, and Emma was tapping her foot nervously as they watched me. My throat caught and immediately tears rushed to my eyes as I looked out a small window in the van and saw a bunch of shaken fans outside, but that were still excited.

"Great, now i've given them another thing to talk about," I said. "Supplying the paparazzi with another way to slowly kill me," I said. Dan didn't quite understand and I just broke out into full on sobbing and wailed a messy and confusing sentence about how I didn't want to do it anymore. I don't really remember how it went,

+++A SEPARATE INTERVIEW WITH DANIEL RADCLIFFE, EMMA WATSON, JOE ROWLING+++

"She. . .just. . . melted. I mean, she broke down into full on sobs and covered her other hand with her face. I had, never seen her like that before, even though I knew something was up earlier in the films."

"What did she say, exactly?" the reporter asked.

Emma: "She said that she didn't want to do it anymore, that it was too much. She said something like, 'never wanted all this stupid money, stupid fame, I hate every minute of it,' things like that. Then she slowed down and said, 'last time I came here I was a different person,'" Emma spoke the last bit very articulately with emphasis.

"She apologized that she wasn't the same girl that I met when she came to England," Joe said.

"Where any of you expecting this to happen?"

"Not at all," Emma said quickly. "Evangeline--- she loved being on the Harry Potter set with us. This year she was, for the most part, or at least on set -- she was happy. She was like a goofball of joy. As for off camera, the only person who would really know is, well, Dan," she said. Dan looked stressed. And nodded slowly.

"She never said anything until then, and it was always bottled up. She didn't say anything, but every so often there was something not quite right," he said. "So when we walked out onto the, carpet, she acted okay at first, and everyone was screaming that I couldn't hear her breathing really hard until she started wheezing and I turned and people started gasping because her face was like paper, and her eyes rolled back as she let go of me and completely wiped out on the carpet. That was probably the quietest that i've ever heard a thousand people in my life," he said. "But after like ten minutes, she went back out there and started crying because all of her fans started singing her favorite song, and then she started singing too. It was the coolest thing," just an idea, prob going to change it.