12.Je ne sais pas

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12.I don't know.

When they asked him

                                 what makes her beautiful,

his only response was

                                                         "Everything."
                              -j.ironword-

•_______•

"-ace,wake up.you're as cold as a corpse!" You whispered so close to me waking me up.My eyelids felt heavy although I wanted to open my eyes.Your body was next to mine,and flashes of last night hit me. It was for sure one of the most precious nights.

I heard shuffling and a little weight was off the bed. I put my efforts into opening my eyes and the a faintly detailed silver ring that looked more precious than any gem caught my attention reminding me that I was married to a diamond, Liberty, you're my 'wife'.

You covered my feet with thick wooly socks and covered my body with thick blankets. "Hey,you're up." You whispered and pecked my cheek. "come on,brush up. I'll get your breakfast here." You spoke softly and came closer to kiss my lips but I drew back my head. "Stop talking,Liberty. I wanna be alone." I spat without thinking and that made you flinch.hurt slashed on your face. You just nodded and left.

Remorse washed over me. I've been snappy lately must be the symptoms. I've been told by Dr.shire that my last days aren't going to be livable if Liberty didn't know what I was going through. Because she won't be able to understand my pain,my symptoms. I can't sleep at night or wake up during the day. My body gets cold and I can't stomach any food.



"I'll be back later." I informed you wearing my jacket. I knew you were sad about what happened earlier today,I am really sorry Liberty. It was out of my control. You won't have to face this for long, I promise. I drove around the town with the hopes of getting you something I've been wanting to get you, and it seemed like luck was on my side, I got what I wanted.

It was almost 9pm. After i ignored your calls,Your texts were countless. I bought a bucket of mint chocolate chip ice cream and 2 large boxes of pizza and dvd of grease. I would've bought your Nichols Sparks's movies but I didn't have the strength to because they either die or something depressing happens.

I struggled my way to our floor and my hands were full. My breath was loud and I felt light headed. It was a battle within my body to keep myself steady. You opened the door.your eyes were puffy and bloodshot. You looked at me in disbelief. Your jaw dropped. I gave you a weak toothy smile. I guess it was almost 3 minutes you just stood there wonderstruck.

I was proud of what I did. You definitely loved my gift. The fluffy little barn owl sitting in the cage,feathered naturally dyed in the shade of burnt paper and bamboo pattern. Midnight eyes on a clear white face completed with a pink pale beak. I felt myself fan-girling over this bird.

We watched the movie and stuffed our faces with the junk I got us.and got to bed by 2 am.
"Goodnight,Dawn." You greeted the owlet with a baby voice and turned off the lights and got to bed.I was still guilty because I didn't apologize and that was eating me.

"Hey?" I whispered,tracing circles on your shoulder. After a while you turned to face me.
"I-I am sorry about earlier today,T." I confessed. Suddenly, I felt like anxiety was crawling into my skin and felt stuffed. I sat up breathing loudly and you panicked. I inhaled my drugs and ignored you. Because I could hear your voice but not listen.

look at yourself. How much are you going to hide it ?

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